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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Blowjob every morning

213 replies

segc94 · 19/09/2017 19:23

What would you say/think if you heard a guy say 'my girlfriend/wife gives me a blowjob every morning'

I called bull shit.

OP posts:
Luncharmstrong · 19/09/2017 21:39

I absolutely know of people for whom this is the case.

segc94 · 19/09/2017 21:40

Woops accidentally clicked post!
Iris love it 😂
Glad majority of people on here can still have a laugh which is all this post was meant to entail 😫😫😂

OP posts:
SonicBoomBoom · 19/09/2017 21:42

I did have a friend who claimed she absolutely loved giving them, and they were available "on tap" for her boyfriend. We were about 20. And I didn't really believe her.

Lockjaw is right. Ouch.

segc94 · 19/09/2017 21:43

Starting every morning off with lockjaw is not my cuppa tea 😫

OP posts:
MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 19/09/2017 21:46

I would assume he was, in fact, getting none tbh.

AnyFucker · 19/09/2017 21:48

DrM, that's not what you said the other night when I had you hogtied to my bed

SeamusMacDubh · 19/09/2017 21:51

I'd think "eww smegma" and also what a load of BS.

What woman has the inclination? Even if she reaalllllyyyy loves her partner and finds him irresistible, that's not going to be the case 24/7 and especially first thing in the morning.

Who has the time?

The office bragging sounds disgusting. It's the sort of thing MNers post about in AIBU RE: sexual harassment in the work place or something similar. It's totally inappropriate and revolting.

Cagliostro · 19/09/2017 21:51

I'd think "where's the variety in that"

Christinayangstwistedsista · 19/09/2017 21:52

AF

Its all coming out in the wash now

AnyFucker · 19/09/2017 21:54

Did I say that out loud ?

Christinayangstwistedsista · 19/09/2017 21:55

Dr has went all shy now

PsychedelicSheep · 19/09/2017 21:56

DP and I have sex daily, I don't think it's that unusual.

Does he fuck get a blow job every morning though, I barely have time to shower and eat breakfast let alone for all that nonsense!

ILoveDolly · 19/09/2017 21:58

Just shudder

Reppin · 19/09/2017 21:58

LunchArmstrong are you the one giving or receiving?

DrMorbius · 19/09/2017 22:04

AF.......... That was our secret. Wink BTW you will lose all you acolytes love that word if you are discovered fraternising with random males your enemy on here.Shock

Christinayangstwistedsista · 19/09/2017 22:09

I knew all that bickering was a cover

" once I had a secret looovvvveeeeeee"

zippydoodaar · 19/09/2017 22:12

How delightful Confused

Offred · 19/09/2017 22:29

OMFG... AF got 'hun'd.... Shock

That aside... errr.... of course your BF is trying to coerce you into blow jobs every morning why the fuck else would he have told you this idiotic thing? And you know it which is why you are on here trying to get 'evidence' from other women that it's mental...

Offred · 19/09/2017 22:31

and why you are getting all pissy with AF for pointing out the massive-blowjob-shaped-obvious

segc94 · 19/09/2017 22:44

*Offred
*
Aahhh shut up stop taking yourself so seriously and get your head out of this 'AF's arse cause it's getting crowded up there.
This thread was meant to be a laugh there's no deep dark hidden agenda behind it, stop searching for one like a bloody negative weirdo.

Let's all just laugh that there's a poor women supposedly spilling her morning coffee down herself every morning after getting lock jaw. 😁

OP posts:
seasidesally · 19/09/2017 22:45

my DP likes a BJ in the morning and would happily have one daily am but manage about one morning a week

im sure many men would like one daily but i doubt many do

Ivy79 · 19/09/2017 23:05

If someone said 'my girlfriend gives me a blow job every morning, I would say 'why?' Confused

@segc94 It's amazing the amount of absolute utter bollocks that some men come out with - especially in a crowd of other men.

My friend's DH works in a hotel chain on nights, and there is a man he speaks to 4-5 times a month (on the phone at midnight-ish when he rings him about work related stuff.) He works for the same chain, but for a hotel 20 miles away.

EVERY time my friend's DH speaks to this man, he claims a female guest has offered him sex, asked him to her room, gone behind the counter and give him a blow job, or took her top off and stuck her tit in his mouth, amongst other outlandish claims.

He is basically a very physically unattractive man who is 5 ft 2, balding, and 16 stone or so, and my friend's DH is quite attractive; quite tall and good looking. In 7 years of doing the night shift job, he has never ever ever, not ONCE, ever had a female guest try it on with him. Yet, the short fat middle aged man gets sex and blow jobs offered once a week. PMSL!

Upshot is, some men are full of shit. I wouldn't believe a word the man (who claims he has a blow job every morning) says!

AnyFucker · 19/09/2017 23:48

I am frequently found pissing myself laughing at the thought of people being coerced into performing sex acts they don't want to do

All very jolly

BertrandRussell · 20/09/2017 00:05

Yes, me too. Utterly hilarious. But so long as the men are happy, eh?

GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries · 20/09/2017 00:30

I kind of agree with anyfucker but I don't think your partner even realises it's as bad as it sounds. It's like a child coming home from school "but everyone else has one/is allowed/gets x, y or z"

don't disrespect the @anyfucker she is awesome and I love her* This though, is cringe.

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