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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not my Hen weekend- but so pissed off

315 replies

FastAbsorbingCake · 30/07/2017 11:17

Long…

As above was away on a hen weekend for someone I thought was a very good friend.

We've been friends for over 20 years and I've been her someone to call at 3am person and I thought she was mine.

The weekend was self catering which I was told by the Maid of Honour (a whole other story) that I was sorting out the food for 20 ish people.

Which I did happily, I spent the whole weekend running after sorting cooking cleaning up etc. And did it all on a very tight budget.

Just before we left the location I said ok I'm having a swim, and then packing and would someone mind clearing up after the breakfast?
Bearing in mind there was 20 of them…

Now I had cooked and sorted for 20 people for 6 meals with no help. I did ask for help and some of them wafted in and out doing nothing of substance.

So wedding has been & done and 'friend' asked to meet up. So we go for a meal and I'm told how horrible I was by leaving them to clean up on the last morning.

How awful I was by not joining in games etc. I did point I was either clearing up or cooking.
I did try to join In but MOH was very obvious in excluding me.

But no and apparently the MOH was very upset & stressed by my behaviour…

So we're in the main course of the meal, she was talking at me for an hour and I say you know what, I worked my arse off for weeks before the weekend, I was first up last to bed on the weekend.

You behaved appallingly to me on said weekend, as did your 'friends'. I assumed when you invited me for this meal it was to apologise, clearly not, so fuck off. And left. We've not spoken since. (I.e. A few months)
Well I did get an enraged text about leaving her with the bill- I'd had pasta & and sparkling water and left a £20…
Ok vent over.

The thing is I've woken up this am (am away with OH so was a late nightGrin ) to see she's called 3 times over night.

My instinct is to call, OH has said don't you dare. I hate to admit it but he's right isn't he…

But what's if she's in real trouble?

OP posts:
EggysMom · 30/07/2017 11:19

If she's in real trouble, she's got 20 other people she should have called first.

I'm with your OH. Don't you dare.

SolomanDaisy · 30/07/2017 11:20

I'd text her, that's more in your control than a call. She sounds awful, but you want to give her another chance.

TipTop333 · 30/07/2017 11:20

Could you text and ask what she called about last night?

JK1773 · 30/07/2017 11:21

I'd text her too. Just say you've noticed the missed calls and ask if she's ok. If you decide to speak or meet up she needs to apologise to you. She sounds like she's treated you very badly

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 30/07/2017 11:21

My feeling would be if she was in real trouble she could text you, along with a grovelling apology.

Don't call her. Enjoy your time away with your DH.

Don't wedding turn people into strange beasts?

MumOfTwoMasterOfNone · 30/07/2017 11:22

Weddings!

LaContessaDiPlump · 30/07/2017 11:24

She'd have texted by now if she had an actual emergency. Ignore!

FeckinCrutches · 30/07/2017 11:25

My instinct is not to ring but I'm so bloody nosey I wouldn't be able to help myself. She's had probably got pissed and has been stewing about stuff and was either to ring to rage at you or be crying wreck.

needsomesunshineandwine · 30/07/2017 11:26

I'm another with your husband, well done for standing up for yourself op.

Have a great time with your husband.

Lj8893 · 30/07/2017 11:27

I would text but only because I'm nosy and would want to know what was wrong and to see if she actually was going to apologise.

But the sensible part of me says no way, fuck her.

iMatter · 30/07/2017 11:29

Don't call/text.

Presumably she hasn't left a message.

As pp have said there are 20 other people she could call.

She treated you appallingly.

You are well rid.

SinglePringle · 30/07/2017 11:30

A) you've been Wendied by the MOH (or she is attempting to).

B) Curiosity would make me text but it would be something quite neutral such as 'I have missed calls from you - meant or pocket dialled?'

Smallangryplanet · 30/07/2017 11:30

I would call. She could have text, sounds like a drama queen to me.

Alittlepotofrosie · 30/07/2017 11:31

I would text her and ask if everything was ok

FastAbsorbingCake · 30/07/2017 11:33

GrinGrinGrin it's the noisiness that's killing me… and I'm not a good person…if shit has happened I'd think well fuck you where are they all now, but would help.

But you're right sorry for ant spelling mistakes OH has me on the mimosas, i.e. fizz with a drop of OJ!!!

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/07/2017 11:33

I'd wait I think. It sounds like she has treated you abysmally. See if she persists.

Crinkle77 · 30/07/2017 11:34

I don't really understand why you catered for 20 people for every meal on the hen do and did all the washing up. Why didn't you say something along the lines of I did last nights meal it's someone's else's turn.

WatchingFromTheWings · 30/07/2017 11:34

I'd ignore.

Nothing less than a massive apology and a lot of grovelling by text would make me get in touch!

GreenTulips · 30/07/2017 11:34

How awful was that weekend?

What were others responsible for exactly?

I'd have thought 20 people would mean 4/5 sorting dinner a nigh each etc - cheeky bitches

I'm not one to stand and watch another person run ragged if I can help

Crinkle77 · 30/07/2017 11:35

Sorry I see you did ask for help but I would have just gone on strike.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/07/2017 11:35

Me neither Crinkle. Why did you let them treat you like a doormat OP?

AdoraBell · 30/07/2017 11:36

I'm with your OH on this.

Stoprightnowplease · 30/07/2017 11:36

I wouldn't call, be strong and keep your pride.

rollonthesummer · 30/07/2017 11:37

Why did you sort the food for all 20 people for the weekend? Sorry, I am struggling to get past that?!

MrsSchadenfreude · 30/07/2017 11:38

Text, and say"I've had a few missed calls from this number" as that will imply that you've deleted her from your contacts. Grin