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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not my Hen weekend- but so pissed off

315 replies

FastAbsorbingCake · 30/07/2017 11:17

Long…

As above was away on a hen weekend for someone I thought was a very good friend.

We've been friends for over 20 years and I've been her someone to call at 3am person and I thought she was mine.

The weekend was self catering which I was told by the Maid of Honour (a whole other story) that I was sorting out the food for 20 ish people.

Which I did happily, I spent the whole weekend running after sorting cooking cleaning up etc. And did it all on a very tight budget.

Just before we left the location I said ok I'm having a swim, and then packing and would someone mind clearing up after the breakfast?
Bearing in mind there was 20 of them…

Now I had cooked and sorted for 20 people for 6 meals with no help. I did ask for help and some of them wafted in and out doing nothing of substance.

So wedding has been & done and 'friend' asked to meet up. So we go for a meal and I'm told how horrible I was by leaving them to clean up on the last morning.

How awful I was by not joining in games etc. I did point I was either clearing up or cooking.
I did try to join In but MOH was very obvious in excluding me.

But no and apparently the MOH was very upset & stressed by my behaviour…

So we're in the main course of the meal, she was talking at me for an hour and I say you know what, I worked my arse off for weeks before the weekend, I was first up last to bed on the weekend.

You behaved appallingly to me on said weekend, as did your 'friends'. I assumed when you invited me for this meal it was to apologise, clearly not, so fuck off. And left. We've not spoken since. (I.e. A few months)
Well I did get an enraged text about leaving her with the bill- I'd had pasta & and sparkling water and left a £20…
Ok vent over.

The thing is I've woken up this am (am away with OH so was a late nightGrin ) to see she's called 3 times over night.

My instinct is to call, OH has said don't you dare. I hate to admit it but he's right isn't he…

But what's if she's in real trouble?

OP posts:
hippyhippyshake · 30/07/2017 11:58

Just ignore. It won't be help me calls it will probably just be prank calls from her and the other cows on a night out.

GrumpyOldBag · 30/07/2017 12:01

Be strong and ignore. Chances are she wanted a late night drunken rant at you.

Ellie56 · 30/07/2017 12:03

Just ignore. It won't be help me calls it will probably just be prank calls from her and the other cows on a night out.

This. Don't bother contacting her.

IHopeYourCakeIsShit · 30/07/2017 12:04

Absolutely what everyone has said about not calling.
Just wanted to add how impressed I am at you having the balls to call her out over her behaviour when you met for lunch and just leaving like that.
You are epic.

eddielizzard · 30/07/2017 12:05

ignore

any mutual friends you could pump for info?

Jb291 · 30/07/2017 12:05

Don't call or text her. She sounds like a nasty ungrateful bitch. You're better off deleting and blocking her.

Jb291 · 30/07/2017 12:06

Don't call or text her. She sounds like a nasty ungrateful bitch. You're better off deleting and blocking her.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 30/07/2017 12:06

I agree, she probably got pissed no thought she'd have another go. Be patient, OP, if she's desperate, she'll get in touch. I'm appalled that she contacted you to have a go. Who the fuck does she think would have prepared the meals had you joined in all the games etc? And who the fuck does the MOh think she is?!

Fluffycloudland77 · 30/07/2017 12:06

I wouldn't call/text.

She treated you like shit.

stumblymonkeyagain · 30/07/2017 12:06

I would ignore.

But please, please don't let yourself be taken advantage of like that again!

You may want to consider doing some work on assertiveness, asking you (one person!) to cater for a group of 20 for the whole weekend is beyond the pale.

Would have been totally fine to say 'I think with 20 of us there it would be best to spread the load amongst us, I'll cater for dinner on X night. Let's ask for volunteers to cater for the other meals'

ohtheholidays · 30/07/2017 12:06

Of course she's in trouble she's finally fucked of her "Skivvy,Door mat,emotional punch bag(what ever you want to call how she saw you and treated you)I'm sorry I know that's harsh but I wouldn't treat an enemy the way she's treated you and as for the meal you had with her she obviously thought you were going to pay for her meal as well!

She's a Cunt and you will be far better of without her in your life!
So stop worrying about her and ger back to enjoying yourself with your OH,it sounds like you've earned a nice break Smile

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/07/2017 12:09

she is probably ringing to find out if your are able to cater the wedding

gunsandbanjos · 30/07/2017 12:10

I'd call her but only because I'm incredibly nosy.

elevenclips · 30/07/2017 12:12

If she wants to tell you something she can email or write a letter. I would not pick up calls.

Skylark678 · 30/07/2017 12:16

I would need to know why she called but your partner is right.. don't call her. If really needed text with "you rang" then ignore any response

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 30/07/2017 12:19

I'm dying to know what she was ringing about now.

timeisnotaline · 30/07/2017 12:19

boney Grin

duxb · 30/07/2017 12:19

Please don't call her. Text to heck she is alright but she owes you a huge apology before you go running to her rescue

ChickenBhuna · 30/07/2017 12:26

She sounds like a bitch to be honest. She seems to think it's okay to treat you with a complete lack of respect - this is not okay.

If you contact her she will think it is okay. Don't send out that message to her.

Make some new friends OP. There are some nice people out there.

SparklyMagpie · 30/07/2017 12:26

Your husband is right OP

BUT

I NEED to know why she rang!! GrinGrin

Aspergallus · 30/07/2017 12:28

I couldn't cope with the curiosity but wouldn't phone. What if she just sat on her phone?

I'd text (as a PP suggested) "i have three missed calls from this number, who are you looking for?" No loss of face with no reply or a message saying misdialled.

ChickenBhuna · 30/07/2017 12:31

She's counting on the OP wanting to know why she called , she's a bloody drama queen and is probably loving this.

Who cares about her call? Block her number and eat some cheesecake , life's too short for this kind of crap.

OnionKnight · 30/07/2017 12:31

Don't you dare contact but if you do I'd ask who the number was?

RhubardGin · 30/07/2017 12:35

she is probably ringing to find out if your are able to cater the wedding

😂

Dreams16 · 30/07/2017 12:36

Don't contact as others have suggested it's likely she's out with the other horrid women and is prank calling you or was trying to be mouthy and the big I am in front of others after a few drinks Saturday night
Do yourself a favour she clearly wasn't that good of a mate to treat you so badly and life is far too short to have toxic people like that in it your better off deleting her out of your life and getting on with your own and enjoying the friends that you do have that value you as a friend Grin

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