Not my Hen weekend- but so pissed off

[FastAbsorbingCake]

Long…

As above was away on a hen weekend for someone I thought was a very good friend.

We've been friends for over 20 years and I've been her someone to call at 3am person and I thought she was mine.

The weekend was self catering which I was told by the Maid of Honour (a whole other story) that I was sorting out the food for 20 ish people.

Which I did happily, I spent the whole weekend running after sorting cooking cleaning up etc. And did it all on a very tight budget.

Just before we left the location I said ok I'm having a swim, and then packing and would someone mind clearing up after the breakfast?
Bearing in mind there was 20 of them…

Now I had cooked and sorted for 20 people for 6 meals with no help. I did ask for help and some of them wafted in and out doing nothing of substance.

So wedding has been & done and 'friend' asked to meet up. So we go for a meal and I'm told how horrible I was by leaving them to clean up on the last morning.

How awful I was by not joining in games etc. I did point I was either clearing up or cooking.
I did try to join In but MOH was very obvious in excluding me.

But no and apparently the MOH was very upset & stressed by my behaviour…

So we're in the main course of the meal, she was talking at me for an hour and I say you know what, I worked my arse off for weeks before the weekend, I was first up last to bed on the weekend.

You behaved appallingly to me on said weekend, as did your 'friends'. I assumed when you invited me for this meal it was to apologise, clearly not, so fuck off. And left. We've not spoken since. (I.e. A few months)
Well I did get an enraged text about leaving her with the bill- I'd had pasta & and sparkling water and left a £20…
Ok vent over.

The thing is I've woken up this am (am away with OH so was a late night ) to see she's called 3 times over night.

My instinct is to call, OH has said don't you dare. I hate to admit it but he's right isn't he…

But what's if she's in real trouble?

Wonder why the partner in crime decided to tell the NH after the wedding; if he was going to fess up, he'd have been doing the NH a lot more good to tell him before he actually married her.

I was going to suggest a text back after the missed calls along the lines of "Heard you were getting an annulment. Is everything ok?"
But that would be low life shit stirring. And hey! She can obviously stir her own very large cauldron of poo very well without anybody's help.
This is one of those times when silence is pure gold.

Rain forecast here. I see an afternoon on the sofa watching Muriel's Wedding again.

She has an affair, but it's YOUR fault her marriage is over?! She's mad as a box of frogs. Block and move on!

WOW!! Have just read this for the first time and I can't believe what I just read in regards to you update about her cheating and wanting you to cover for her.

You get the abuse about not being a friend and asking all the other hens to clear up on the last morning awhich they think is bang out of order for you to do and then she does that.

I dont think you where out of order at all to ask for help on that last morning, but I do think you should have given the ones that did try to help some proper instructions so that they would have been more of a help to you rather than a hindrance.

I think you are best of without her and just stick with Betty for updates

I do find that some people are drawn to do set things when they are away with a group, i.e spent a week in a caravan from one of those £9.50 holidays that the sun does, was 6 of us, hubby did the cooking, I did all the cleaning .

Now if we go away with family due to having a 2yr, hubby might help his mum and stepdad who like cooking and i will run about clearing up after my 2yr old as we try and keep a place clean as much as poss while we are away

Oooooff what a carry on! Why on earth didn't this fella tell the poor NH before he became an NH ... surprised the NH didn't end up lamping him one although I don't condone violence.

Please don't be mad/sad with yourself - you did what a nice person does, but don't bloody do it again for anyone

Fuck a duck

That's quite an update

Last post under this name as I have strong suspicions I've been made...

So caught up with Betty, who due to various circumstances can't pull away right now but once this crisis is gone is planning on going very low contact (before the next crisis...)

Bride has admitted to maybe, sending some inappropriate texts/emails. But still denying a physical affair, though what would you be doing staying in a double hotel room with a friend of your fiance at least 4 times????? Playing scrabble?

NH is heartbroken, both by her, and by his friends not telling him.

One 'friend' has let slip that he had come across them in a compromising situation at least 6 months before the wedding.
NH though a very gentle person wanted to deck him; he'd been worried that she was getting over stressed with planning the wedding, and put the periods of being unable to contact her/extra nights out and hushed hurried phone calls down to that.

He's said to Betty even if he'd been dropped a hint; or just someone said oh I saw Bride and friend in X place, it might have come out before the wedding, and while it would have still hurt he might not be feeling so humiliated.

Of the Hen's MOH definitely knew (no surprise there) but she and Bride have fallen out a few months ago....
So I wasn't even first choice for an alibi......

As far as NH is concerned it's over, Bride is of the opinion she can talk him round.

Me & Betty did have a chat about why I'd let myself be a doormat to her; she said she was the same; saw Bride as basically a good person but then a few years ago had a similar lightbulb moment.

So not just me taken in.

So not just me taken in.

No, they just keep moving to the next person.

Holy fuck
Bride does not sound like the kind of person you ever need to have anything to do with ever again!
She craps on people left, right and centre.

I'm stunned at the bride!

Wow. Bride sounds like (yes, armchair cod psychology) a total narc, actually. Nothing is her fault, everything is other people misunderstanding her, and she likes to control everyone.

Her poor husband. I hope he makes a better choice next time around! :(

Betty sounds like a trooper, I like that she was thoughtful about not ruining your holiday.

Obviously this is. Horrible for nh but on a personal level for you just be glad you got out when you did!

Bloody hell

Just read all of this.

I also get that default position as the 'helper'. I'm the same and have had my own lightbulb moments over the years.

Sounds like you and Betty may become better friends though so all is not lost.