Horrible Horrible Man

[chestylarue52]

I’m on a website for finding adult friends for casual sex

I’m single.

Messaged by a man, sends me a photo of himself, very smart as in going to a wedding or the races, arm round a woman is clearly cropped out in the picture but you can see the edge of her dress, hat, arm etc

Him: this is me

Me: is that your ex or current gf/wife in the photo?

Him: oh lol thought I’d cropped her out that’s my wife
Him: is that a problem

Me: do you have a open relationship or are you cheating on her

Him: no I don’t fancy her any more and I miss the intimacy

Me: ok that’s really not for me. Please don’t message me again

Him: that’s a shame you’re really hot
Him: let me know I fyou change your mind hon

Me: I won’t. Don’t message me again.

I just feel so enraged by this exchange. Like just FUCK OFF. He sent me other photos I feel like trying to hunt him down and tell her. ‘Thought I’d cropped her out’. Makes me feel sick.

I agree his behaviour is unpleasant but I think you are being a touch naïve in your expectations of such dating sites. Of course married men use them!

that is so sad.

How naïve are you, do you honestly think you are not going to be propositioned by married or attached men when you are offering them free sex, really?

There will be all manner of scumbags on a site like this.

Well if its a site for casual encounters rather than relationships I would just have assumed the majority of members are seeking an hook up separate from their marriages or relationships.
Is that not primarily the point of it ?

I'm very much expecting to be propositioned by men who are married, a lot of them are and admit to it or don't. Most of them don't send photos of them and their wives and then say 'oh I thought I'd cropped her out lol'.

Also: Free sex? As opposed to what? Sex that's paid for with a relationship? or cash? All the sex I have is free whether I'm in a relationship or not.

Ive added a diagram to try and display how horrific it was

Oh I even put on my profile not to bother contacting me if married, didn't stop them

"is that a problem'

That would have me raging. When you get this again, don't engage, just block them straight away, no reaction.

Now I'm confused if you're angry that he is married or that he cropped the photo.

I think Adora's point was that it's a site for casual sex rather than relationships.
So not 'dating ' if you see what I mean.

casual sex isn't dating

FilledSoda what made me angry if I'm honest is 'thought I'd cropped her out lol'.

And that he thought a decent photo to send someone would be one with half his wife in.

Made me angry on behalf of all married women and cheated on women. What was his expectation, that I'd go 'LOL!! what r u like!! come over'

I wouldn't judge anyone, male or female, for casual sex. Why not?

But this -

I'm very much expecting to be propositioned by men who are married

I DO judge you for. What a disgusting thing to do.

I was on a bit specifically for dating but does have a section for it and got messages by a bloke on there.

Him: I'd love to pull down your pants and duck you senseless!

Me: you what now?!?! That's a bit graphic.

Him: no point beating around the bush is there do you want me to sugar coat it?

Me: you're going nowhere near my bush now fuck off.

Honestly some men don't think basic respect is in order at all.

Sorry? Married men who want to cheat will proposition women everywhere - online, at work, in friendship groups - how am I disgusting because of their behaviour? I have never slept with a married man.

To be fairWell the OP says she expects to, not that she'll accept.

A site not specifically for dating, even.

I understand the point you're making, this also happens on the dating websites as well.

The level of detective work required if you're single wanting to date/have casual sex with a man who is also truly single is exhausting. Just tell them to jog on, block and delete and NEXT.

Good luck

Married men who want to cheat will proposition women everywhere - online, at work, in friendship groups

Yes, but the chances are higher if you're engaging with them on a site designed to help them cheat.

how am I disgusting because of their behaviour?

I didn't say that you were disgusting, but that your behaviour is.
Which I stand by, if you're on a casual sex site expecting to be propositioned by married men.

No I don't know what you mean by 'free sex', that's why I asked.

I think the definition of free sex is the least of your problems.

wtf are you doing on a website for casual sex if you are that easily outraged?

Who did you think would contact you, Edward Cullen?????

Mad.

WellErr can you explain why the op's behaviour is disgusting?