Horrible Horrible Man

[chestylarue52]

I’m on a website for finding adult friends for casual sex

I’m single.

Messaged by a man, sends me a photo of himself, very smart as in going to a wedding or the races, arm round a woman is clearly cropped out in the picture but you can see the edge of her dress, hat, arm etc

Him: this is me

Me: is that your ex or current gf/wife in the photo?

Him: oh lol thought I’d cropped her out that’s my wife
Him: is that a problem

Me: do you have a open relationship or are you cheating on her

Him: no I don’t fancy her any more and I miss the intimacy

Me: ok that’s really not for me. Please don’t message me again

Him: that’s a shame you’re really hot
Him: let me know I fyou change your mind hon

Me: I won’t. Don’t message me again.

I just feel so enraged by this exchange. Like just FUCK OFF. He sent me other photos I feel like trying to hunt him down and tell her. ‘Thought I’d cropped her out’. Makes me feel sick.

Round of applause and agree with everything that KickAssAngel has said.

It's comes across as easy and men/woman don't respect that.

Speak for yourself, I respect it just fine and so do a lot of other people. What bloody decade are we in?

Can I just say,op, your diagram hasn't gotten nearly enough credit it deserves! I'm still laughing

Oh so women are east if they just want simple no strings sex?

If men decide to view it like that it's up to them but certainly nobody should come out with such misogyny.

Also hating the wording of "offering" sex.

It's women & men agreeing to have sex. Not some kind of spiritual experience, or a meal, which is when the word "offering" tends to get used. Unless it's really good sex, then I guess it could count as spiritual. Here's hoping for you, OP.

Oh so women are easy if they just want simple no strings sex?

Not just woman. I think that advertising yourself for casual sex whether you are a man or a woman is grim.

Men on hook up sites will see it as sex on offer, so what, that's exactly what it is, two people using each other's bodies without any emotional entanglement, who cares, not me, what my point was is that these sites are full of married men looking for easy sex, so don't be surprised if you come across a married man!

There will still be women and men who view women who advertise this way as being loose, easy, no morals, whatever, it's an opinion so again who cares, if the OP is happy then what others think should be no concern of hers.

I'm just baffled by the enragement and the diagram.

Not just woman. I think that advertising yourself for casual sex whether you are a man or a woman is grim

And there are those of us who think that marriage is a prison :).

I have no issue whatsoever for either gender using no strings hook up sites. It's not my thing, but I'm in a long term relationship but i can imagine using one if single. What I'm a little confused by is why it's acknowledged that married people will be using them, but a cropped photo is what's objected to. It seems bloody odd to get so offended by that detail, not the infidelity itself.

I don't think he was that horrible, at least he was honest with you.

Maybe his wife is ok with it.

And there are those of us who think that marriage is a prison

Of course there are.

I'm about to get married and I don't believe in casual sex. However, there are some out there who rather cut off their right leg than get married and love nothing more than easy hook-up's with no emotional attachment.

Different strokes for different folks!

so you want causal sex, fine

But the website you use is clearly not the way to go about it.

If a man like the one that messaged you wants to cheat on his wife, get some fun sex with a stranger this is his best method of achieving that. If you aren't happy being the counterparty in this relationship then get off that site.

Free sex above = sex that he doesnt have to pay for. Not sure how anyone can misunderstand "free". If he wants to cheat, he has other options like paying a prostitute. Or paying in kind with gifts to women online who are seeking that dynamic. But if he uses the site in question it's free to him - no money or gifts needed.

I would use RL methods of seeking causal sex. Easier to spot weirdos and cheats.

However, there are some out there who rather cut off their right leg than get married and love nothing more than easy hook-up's with no emotional attachment

Yup. And they should not be judged for that :)

Yup. And they should not be judged for that

Sorry, can't help it!

But you can judge me for being judgey, I wont judge

Maybe that's a fair swap.

But don't call it dating, which it isn't

The OP has specifically stated it is not dating she is looking for, and that that is the reason she's not on a dating website, so I think it is rather off to keep mixing that in with your criticism of what she's doing. Because she's not referring to it as dating. Quite the opposite.

Such a bizarre attitude from so many posters as well that the OP can't object to any scummy behaviour just because she's choosing to do something they wouldn't want to do themselves.

Such a bizarre attitude from so many posters as well that the OP can't object to any scummy behaviour just because she's choosing to do something they wouldn't want to do themselves.

Bizarre, I don't think so, a hook up site for sex has disgusting men on it, shock, horror, omg, how will the OP get over it.

It's not her sexual preference that most are commenting on, ok a few are but who cares, it's the fact she is enraged about a cropped pic and even considered tracking him and letting his wife know, I mean, c'mon OP, you're on a hook up site.

Brilliant thread! Who would of thought we were in 2017!

Fucks sake .. shock horror, a female wants to have sex and not fall in love happy ever after.

I am horrified at the shaming on here. OP is a grown woman, she can fuck people without being in love if she wants to. She made it absolutely clear she wouldn't have a married man. I can only assume seeing as the nice decent single OP is on the site, there are also some nice single men.

if I wasn't married I'd do it too - and I am fucking outstandingly nice and decent.

and I am fucking outstandingly nice and decent.

You sound pretty angry to me, sorry I'm JOKING.

Thing is she won't know which ones are married and are single; they won't tell her they are, she could quite easily be having sex with lots of married people, these sites are full of them so if she really wants to avoid that she'll have to find some other avenue to have casual sex.

Nice people don't get angry @Adora10 ?

I am angry to be honest. I'm genuinely a little sickened by the woman shaming on this thread.

You know (1) if a man asked her for a date in a bar they don't come barcoded as married or not? (2) she isn't responsible for a married mans behaviour - he is.

Interesting range of views 🙂

It's pretty easy to find out which ones are married actually. Before I go into a relationship with anyone who claims to be single I insist on going to their home, I check out their social media, Facebook, etc. The same as I would if I met them at a bar.

I'm a professional woman, I own my own home, I have good friends and a loving family. I don't want a boyfriend or husband but I would like to have regular sex with someone I find attractive. It's worked for me in the past. I find if I join dating websites I have men looking for a partner and I don't want that, I don't want dates and weekends away and moving in together and meeting parents. I don't think that means I don't value myself.

Adora - I wouldn't be 'quite easily having sex with lots of married people' - I don't have sex with lots of people for starters, and I do get to know prospective men before I go to bed with them 😊

I would use RL methods of seeking causal sex. Easier to spot weirdos and cheats.

Yeah I think that's maybe from the perspective of someone who's never tried. I can't go the work route I'm too senior. I don't like to fuck my friends or my friends friends. Bars are no better than online methods.