Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Mystery WhatsApp conversation

563 replies

Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:33

My DP has been acting very very secretive with his phone, I have no other reason to suspect him of anything but the fact that he has been really weird over it and won't even leave it charging in my presence got me wondering. I have his phone password, he doesn't know. I've just checked it quickly while he was in the shower and there's a short message on WhatsApp, clearly only the latest fragment of a conversation, with a number saved in the name ' new'. There's a picture of a baby in their profile pic. There's nothing overly awful about the conversation but he's signed off a few messages with a kiss... This is not like him. One of the messages says 'night x' and before that one says. 'I always want to see pics x'. Now this could be innocent but I don't know of anyone, family or friends, who he'd be willing to send messages with a kiss to? I didn't know how to screenshot but I have managed to scribble down the mobile number. I really want to call it, but I just don't know how to go about it. I was thinking of maybe giving a different name and saying I'm from the local water board and need to speak to xyz, and see if I can get a name that way? I'm shaking. I cannot believe he's having an affair, he's keen for another baby and we're undergoing fertility tests at the moment, I'm so hoping it's not that but why be so secretive, and why isn't there a name on the WhatsApp contact? Any thoughts on my next move? He's on Android and is tech savvy so I don't have a tracking app or anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:36

Another thing, and I realise this is weird, is that I have had a routine chlamydia test as part of my fertility testing, and when I told him it was booked he told me you can pick up chlamydia from lots of places, like he was getting excuses in early? He's not stupid at all, he knows it's an STD and so do I, I just laughed at him but now it's taking on a different meaning to me.

OP posts:
Bellatrixandstrange · 24/07/2017 07:39

Is any of his day unaccounted for? Would he have time for an affair? Have you checked his social media and other devices?

Rioja123 · 24/07/2017 07:42

It really doesn't sound great. For a start, stop having unprotected sex with him. Is there any way you can get hold of his phone again?

Original poster
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:43

He's at work 5 days a week, he spends weekends with us but is home latish most nights, can be our of the house from 7 until 7. It's a 9to 5 job but he says that he does it to make up flexi time. It's about a 45 min commute. I don't have access to his social media accounts.

OP posts:
CherriesInTheSnow · 24/07/2017 07:46

So sorry OP, it must be so horrible to even have to think about this stuff :(

Is actually talking to him an option, maybe hinting that you know more than you do, and see how he reacts?

Does he have any friends on social media with pictures of the same baby on the profile? Flowers

Original poster
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:47

I can try to get hold of the phone when he's asleep, or in the shower, but never for more than a few minutes.

OP posts:
KJPxx · 24/07/2017 07:47

The name on WhatsApp is what he has saved the contact as in his phone contacts.
Like you say there isn't much in the way of any proof yet so I think it's a good idea to do what you've suggested.
Phone the number, ask to speak with a Mrs.??? Then see if the person offers a name. I suggest an accent or something though because if it is a family member or something they may recognise your voice.
Good luck OP I hope you get the outcome you want xx

Original poster
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:48

Should I ring the number?

OP posts:
Original poster
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:49

Thanks KPJ, I hasn't thought about that

OP posts:
BoobleMcB · 24/07/2017 07:49

You would probably be able to access his social media through his phone. Just open the apps, he'll likely be already logged in. What were the contents of the WhatsApp messages?

JustMumNowNotMe · 24/07/2017 07:51

You could search the number in facebook to see who she is? As for screen shots I wouldn't bother, just take photos of thr screen with your phone.

Say nothing and just watch and wait for a while. The second you say anything he'll become even more secretive and hide e everything

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 24/07/2017 07:53

Try to take pictures of any messages you see, don't let him know you've seen them yet. I would also get the number and keep it to one side for now. Possibly ring it off a withheld number just to hear the voice of who answers. I think you need more evidence but its not sounding great. Also I hate the whole 'he doesn't have time to have an affair' if someone is gonna cheat they'll make time, horrible bastards.

Oldcrank · 24/07/2017 07:54

Don't ring the number yet
Just wait patiently and see what else comes up on the chat

ParisGellar · 24/07/2017 07:55

YY to search the number on facebook. You'll get a name that way.

SleepFreeZone · 24/07/2017 07:56

Put the number into the Facebook search box and see if she comes up.

OnionKnight · 24/07/2017 07:57

YY to search the number on facebook. You'll get a name that way.

Only if the number is registered to a Facebook account.

WatchingFromTheWings · 24/07/2017 07:57

As pp has said, put the number into Facebook, see if it's linked to a profile.

Hallomiaddicted · 24/07/2017 07:58

Don't call the number yet. Check the phone whenever you can for contents of messages first.

TheRat · 24/07/2017 07:59

Have you tried googleing the phone number, or searching for it on facebook?

If you get on his whatsapp again you can view images that have been sent/received even if he has deleted them from his gallery (providing he hasn't specifically cleared them in whatsapp). Open the conversation, click the 3 dots in the top right and choose "media".

grobagsforever · 24/07/2017 08:03

The not leaving his phone unguarded would be a big concern for me. Pretend yours is broken/ frozen and ask to borrow his to complete a task? If he outright refuses you'll have your answer

CherylVole · 24/07/2017 08:04

Not if you delete the conversation.

CherylVole · 24/07/2017 08:05

And lol at presuming everyone had Facebook. Doesn't look good Op

SomeKnobend · 24/07/2017 08:09

He's obviously having an affair. You can confront now and he will minimise or possibly deny it altogether. You might be tempted to believe bullshit like nothing physical happened or it was only a kiss, or it was only once (these usually come one after another and continue until you run out of evidence r patience to listen to it). Or you can let the affair continue for a while and keep checking his phone to see if you can work out the extent of it yourself. Phoning won't help and may let on they've been rumbled, so they'll just be more careful to hide what's going on. I'm sorry. Flowers

femfemlicious · 24/07/2017 08:11

There is an app called truecaller that will tell you the name of the owner of the number. It's a really good app. Try it

mylittlepony6 · 24/07/2017 08:12

If you have a samsung phone you can hold down the button to switch it off and the button in the middle at the bottom, it will take a screen shot x