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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mystery WhatsApp conversation

563 replies

Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:33

My DP has been acting very very secretive with his phone, I have no other reason to suspect him of anything but the fact that he has been really weird over it and won't even leave it charging in my presence got me wondering. I have his phone password, he doesn't know. I've just checked it quickly while he was in the shower and there's a short message on WhatsApp, clearly only the latest fragment of a conversation, with a number saved in the name ' new'. There's a picture of a baby in their profile pic. There's nothing overly awful about the conversation but he's signed off a few messages with a kiss... This is not like him. One of the messages says 'night x' and before that one says. 'I always want to see pics x'. Now this could be innocent but I don't know of anyone, family or friends, who he'd be willing to send messages with a kiss to? I didn't know how to screenshot but I have managed to scribble down the mobile number. I really want to call it, but I just don't know how to go about it. I was thinking of maybe giving a different name and saying I'm from the local water board and need to speak to xyz, and see if I can get a name that way? I'm shaking. I cannot believe he's having an affair, he's keen for another baby and we're undergoing fertility tests at the moment, I'm so hoping it's not that but why be so secretive, and why isn't there a name on the WhatsApp contact? Any thoughts on my next move? He's on Android and is tech savvy so I don't have a tracking app or anything.

OP posts:
Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 18:48

I just can't believe any of it. I took photos of the messages so he can't deny them.

OP posts:
Alcea · 24/07/2017 18:48

And what a manipulative arse hole to threaten suicide Angry

nigelsbigface · 24/07/2017 18:49

Oh god OP-so sorry Sad
Have you anyone you can call to come and be with you?

TheRat · 24/07/2017 18:49

I'm so sorry to hear your update, op. How awful. Ignore his pathetic threats of self harm, typical trying to keep you with him out of guilt/fear.

Are you married? Do you live together? Kids?

nigelsbigface · 24/07/2017 18:51

The self harm bit seems to be quite standard when they get found out-part of the script as they say...it's all about he feels having been found out-how the Christ does he think you feel?

Have a hot sweet tea op, you need it for the shock.

Carley27 · 24/07/2017 18:52

So sorry OP Flowers glad you have your mum with you.

TooLazyForDrama · 24/07/2017 18:52

I'm so, so sorry.

StealthPolarBear · 24/07/2017 18:52

So sorry op. Other than the suicide threats Hmm what else has he said? Did he mention the baby?

inneedofchocolate · 24/07/2017 18:55

Sending you a big hug xxx

usernameavailable · 24/07/2017 18:56

Im so so sorry, this is just awful for you

PatMustardsMoustache · 24/07/2017 18:57

My thoughts are with you OP.

Been where you are now, the suicide thing is all part of the script. After being threatened with it so many times I eventually sought advice. Even if he were to go through with it, he is not your responsibility. He is a grown up making his own decisions.

Flowers
dowhatyouwish · 24/07/2017 19:02

OP so sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you've caught him out! Threatening to commit suicide is all part of the psychological mind fuckery. Don't fall for it. I'm afraid if he does kill himself you are not to blame whatsoever. He needs to take full responsibility for his actions and address them full on, not try and get away from the reality by causing you to get distracted by his "suicidal" thoughts. Personally I would not advise staying with a man who says things like that or cheats on me. I hope you have not got an STD OP. Fingers crossed.

Rhubarbtart9 · 24/07/2017 19:02

At least you know now. Sorry it's awful news.

Rhubarbtart9 · 24/07/2017 19:03

His feelings are irrelevant right now. Ignore them. What do you want to do?

PearlyPinkNails · 24/07/2017 19:03

So sorry op but you'll be ok Brew

Questioningeverything · 24/07/2017 19:03

Oh god op I'm so sorry. I was reading the opening post thinking 'that baby's gonna turn out to be his...' but hoping to hell it was just an innocent situation.
He won't kill himself, self indulgent twat only cares about himself so he won't see harm come to the person he loves most 🙄🙄 he's just pisssd that he's been caught.

How are you feeling? Sorry if that's a stupid question. I just want you to know, even though we're all strangers on an Internet forum, we're all here for you x

flickerty · 24/07/2017 19:04

Oh no Op. what a horrible horrible bastard.
And these threats to harm himself are bullshit. He's just upset he's been caught out.

Can someone link The Script for the Op?

thegirlupnorth · 24/07/2017 19:09

I have read this filled with dread for you. If he wants pics is it because he has a child with the OW?

mintich · 24/07/2017 19:14

If you add the number to your WhatsApp their name may come up, that's happened when I have what's append someone new

namechangedforthisreply · 24/07/2017 19:17

I'm so sorry OP, I hope having your DM there will give you some support

mintich · 24/07/2017 19:19

Sorry didn't read whole post. So sorry for you OP. Be strong xx

EssieTregowan · 24/07/2017 19:26

What a cunt. Why would he put you through fertility treatment? Urgh.

Alfiemoon1 · 24/07/2017 19:34

So sorry op please ignore his suicide threats and look after yourself

Lovemusic33 · 24/07/2017 19:39

Don't take any notice of the suicide threats, it's all apart of him turning things around to make you feel sorry for him. My ex did the same, claimed he had taken an over dose, police tracked him down and he was fine.

You will get over this and you will cope with what ever the outcome is with your possible pregnancy. I hope you have family and friends to lean on.

LavenderDoll · 24/07/2017 19:42

Im so sorry OP what a piece of work. Ignore his empty threats of self harm