Mystery WhatsApp conversation

[Foundwantingalways]

My DP has been acting very very secretive with his phone, I have no other reason to suspect him of anything but the fact that he has been really weird over it and won't even leave it charging in my presence got me wondering. I have his phone password, he doesn't know. I've just checked it quickly while he was in the shower and there's a short message on WhatsApp, clearly only the latest fragment of a conversation, with a number saved in the name ' new'. There's a picture of a baby in their profile pic. There's nothing overly awful about the conversation but he's signed off a few messages with a kiss... This is not like him. One of the messages says 'night x' and before that one says. 'I always want to see pics x'. Now this could be innocent but I don't know of anyone, family or friends, who he'd be willing to send messages with a kiss to? I didn't know how to screenshot but I have managed to scribble down the mobile number. I really want to call it, but I just don't know how to go about it. I was thinking of maybe giving a different name and saying I'm from the local water board and need to speak to xyz, and see if I can get a name that way? I'm shaking. I cannot believe he's having an affair, he's keen for another baby and we're undergoing fertility tests at the moment, I'm so hoping it's not that but why be so secretive, and why isn't there a name on the WhatsApp contact? Any thoughts on my next move? He's on Android and is tech savvy so I don't have a tracking app or anything.

Do you think he is

1. on glue ?
2. mistaken the telephone number ?
3. Taking the piss ?

You can block his number & tell him to use a new specific email address (created for him.) Don't suffer this.

Thanks! Good idea mix, I'll create a new account for him to message. I don't need to hear his bullshit at the moment. I did ask if he'd accidentally sent me the message instead of my replacement, he says not but then I guess he probably couldn't say yes at that point! He had dd last night at his parents house, they were 20 mins early picking her up and half an hour late back. Having her tomorrow too so I'll make sure I open the door at the specified time and not before.

You are being so strong.

Silence will speak volume for you. Keep clear boundaries in place from the very start about access.

I've responded by asking him about his std test.

You rock, OP. You rock.

It may not be the right thing to do but I'd find it hard to resist sending his sexts to me onto the OW, saying I think these are meant for you!

I agree - radio silence.
He'll get bored in the end.

Life a single parent seems impossible.
Actually it's easier.
No conflict of parenting etc...
You can do what you like.
It does get better.

But for now - just take it one day at a time.
And ignore the fuckwit!

It may not be the right thing to do but I'd find it hard to resist sending his sexts to me onto the OW, saying I think these are meant for you!

This^^

Is he mental?

Asks him about his STD test...drops mic...

You are aces op.

...Asking him about his STD test

Brilliant response, well done OP. Stick to NC/Grey rock responses you're doing great.

Thanks, in all honesty I don't feel like I am coping well at all, those sexts really bothered me all day. It's not a side to him I'd really seen, and while I'd probably have been on board a month ago, all I can think about is what he was sending to her. Those messages were full on and make me feel sick when I think about them.

When similar happened to a friend (OW didn't know wife was still on scene) OW and friend compared texts and emails when the SHTF and he had sent them identical messages. Literally just copy and paste! Assume if one had forgiven him then they'd have been his preferred choice all along.

Sending you sexts after everything is just vile. No wonder you're upset. I think you are dealing with it so well.

I know-it just another example of how you don't know him the way you thought you did.And these are the hard yards op-you will be up and down.of course. But you are doing so well.
Hang in there

Those sort of messages aren't attractive. Might work for his bit on the side but what on earth makes him think that's going to win you over after what he's done?? Even if you were to decide to allow him back (don't do that found you're worth so much more) as if you'd want him touching you or you'd even think about that side of the relationship for a long long time!

He reeks. Of desperation and sleaze. What a disgusting piece of shit.

We'll done, you are dealing with this horrific situation with class.

Thank you all, as I keep saying, you are all keeping me sane.

Gosh what a strong woman you are.

Your ex sounds like a complete twat. Sexting you FFS after you found messages to OW - he obviously doesn't know what he's up against, you are formidable!

Take care of yourself and your DD and things will get better.

Never ever has a post brought me close to tears like yours.

Op, I think you are being really strong and hats off to you for doing what your doing. I know it won't feel it right now, but things will get better.

I seriously can't believe the creepy prick was sexting you! Just shows the respect he has for you- none!

Your dd is lucky to have such a strong lady for a mum! Keep being you xx

@Foundwantingalways those revolting texts are abusive. You should log them as harassment.

I'm so sorry he's being so cavalier and grossly inappropriate. It just shows what a dreadful individual he is. Sending you a hug.

My ex has started being nastier now. I knew it would come. He's told me in an email tonight nobody could abuse me as I am a strident, engaging woman. He also added he has written logs, gone through my phone which was according to him full of lies and stated that he has camera footage of my shouting and verbally abusing him during an argument so he is in fact the victim. Good luck with that mate. You do your worst. I'd call that email more examples of coercive control and abuse myself but if you want to go down that road.

Just keep going. Like I am.

Solicitors on Monday and then I have booked a private bonding scan to see my baby son. My hospital appointments have kept me sane this week. In between police meetings and more health visitors I have been told that unless he comes sooner I will meet my little boy in eleven or twelve weeks time depending on growth scans. I am trying to dream about seeing his little face and holding him for the first time and hoping it starts to blot out the nightmares that currently plague me.

My other two beautiful little children are settling and sleeping better. They are happy and smiling. When I look at them I know each time that I have done the right thing.

Oh lollipops 🌺

@Lollipop7 I am truly in awe of you. You sound like an amazing woman and mother and your dc and new gorgeous baby are so, so lucky to have such a survivor for a mummy. You give me strength, if you can keep yourself going in such difficult circumstances then I can too.

Found,
Just take each day as it comes. You're doing really well so far and I love your response about the std test.

I'm not sure it's dawned on him how he put your health at risk with his unprotected sex.

A friend recently discovered her H was sexting multiple women and says she can't believe the vulgar language he used.

He was too ashamed to leave the bedroom the following day. In her shock she told their DC and they were furious.

The sexting is very aggressive actually, and shows a complete lack of respect for you. They most definitely are harassment. Don't delete them or your request to stop sending them.

to you and to Lollipops.

Did his parents pick up and drop off at the correct times today op?

You are so strong. You will get through this awful time and be happy again and your dd will be stronger and happier because of you.