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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mystery WhatsApp conversation

563 replies

Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 07:33

My DP has been acting very very secretive with his phone, I have no other reason to suspect him of anything but the fact that he has been really weird over it and won't even leave it charging in my presence got me wondering. I have his phone password, he doesn't know. I've just checked it quickly while he was in the shower and there's a short message on WhatsApp, clearly only the latest fragment of a conversation, with a number saved in the name ' new'. There's a picture of a baby in their profile pic. There's nothing overly awful about the conversation but he's signed off a few messages with a kiss... This is not like him. One of the messages says 'night x' and before that one says. 'I always want to see pics x'. Now this could be innocent but I don't know of anyone, family or friends, who he'd be willing to send messages with a kiss to? I didn't know how to screenshot but I have managed to scribble down the mobile number. I really want to call it, but I just don't know how to go about it. I was thinking of maybe giving a different name and saying I'm from the local water board and need to speak to xyz, and see if I can get a name that way? I'm shaking. I cannot believe he's having an affair, he's keen for another baby and we're undergoing fertility tests at the moment, I'm so hoping it's not that but why be so secretive, and why isn't there a name on the WhatsApp contact? Any thoughts on my next move? He's on Android and is tech savvy so I don't have a tracking app or anything.

OP posts:
UserShmuser · 24/07/2017 19:54

Oh OP, I'm so sorry. I was really hoping it wouldn't be this. What a selfish, horrible shit.

Scrumptiousbears · 24/07/2017 19:55

I'm sorry OP. What a dirty fucker.

Do you think the suicide threats are real?

threedayrule · 24/07/2017 20:06

What lovemusic said. You will get past this but it takes time. Take the support offered. I really hoped it wasnt this. What an absolute asshole. Totally despicable behaviour.

Istoletherainbow · 24/07/2017 20:09

I'm so sorry to read this.

Sending you lots of strength and a big hug xx

debbs77 · 24/07/2017 20:27

No!!!! So sorry you are going through this. It isn't fair xxx

thestamp · 24/07/2017 20:30

You poor thing. I'm so sorry.

Runlovingmummy81 · 24/07/2017 20:32

I was hoping this wasn't going to be the case. So sorry op xxx

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 24/07/2017 20:33

He won't kill himself, this is his self defence mechanism kicking in.

I'm so sorry, OP. Funny how instinct is right.

DuchessofManchester · 24/07/2017 20:43

I'm so sorry OP. What an absolute shit. I know it sounds like the last thing you want to hear but I'd prepare for that baby to be his.
I know this is probably what you don't want to hear right now but he's done you a massive favour. You're now able to find someone who will love you and start your lovely little family. Much love. Xx

littleredpear · 24/07/2017 20:54

Oh OP I'm so sorry. Been there Flowers

Take it easy on yourself, life will be all over the place for the next few weeks xxxx

littleredpear · 24/07/2017 20:55

Oh and I found out like you. Unlabelled whatsapp contact, constantly being archived.

He thought I was a mug.

I certainly was not.

You are not either ❤️

Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 20:56

Thank you all, and Duchess what a lovely thing to say, you've got me crying here! You never really know someone, do you you. Yesterday I would have sworn the sky was green rather than believe he would have had an affair. I have to take a pregnancy test tomorrow, I am hoping against hope that I'm not pregnant, I don't know what I'll do. That bastard.

OP posts:
Seenoevil · 24/07/2017 20:57

Omg. So sorry op.

Is the baby in the picture his ? Saying he always wants to see pics doesn't sound like a good sign unless he meant nude picture (also not good btw!!)

He was clearly having unprotected sex with her as he mentioned the std thing.

Bravas · 24/07/2017 20:58

I have been where you are op, life has crumbed as you know it, but i promise you will get through this and come out the other side.

One day at a time and suddenly the tears will lessen and your heart will begin to heal.

Stay strong.

Foundwantingalways · 24/07/2017 20:58

Oh and for anyone worried, he hasn't killed himself. I'm getting messages asking to talk. I have sent him the screenshot of his dirty little messages in response. X

OP posts:
nigelsbigface · 24/07/2017 20:58

Will be thinking of you op....
Did he give you any detail at all? Do you want any?
What a shit.

Questioningeverything · 24/07/2017 20:59

Op, no one on here gives a flying one about that waste of air. He's lost everything he ever had, and you've realised you're worth so much more.

Bravas · 24/07/2017 21:04

Somebody said to me the day i found out, try not to ask questions as the answers will only hurt you more. It was hard but i stuck to it, knowing the ins and outs wouldn't have made me feel any better. I kicked him out that day and only saw him briefly 6 months later when i hand delivered some papers to do with the divorce he was refusing to sign. He crumbled, it was satisfying.

He set me free to find my true soulmate to have my family with.

tattychicken · 24/07/2017 21:06

What a total twat. I'm so sorry. You say in your OP re trying for another baby, do you already have a DC with him?

daisychainagain · 24/07/2017 21:10

Oh I'm so sorry to read your update. You will be just fine without him op.

Gemini69 · 24/07/2017 21:10

horrible to read this OP....

I hope your okay Flowers

MargotMoon · 24/07/2017 21:12

Oh OP I'm so sorry, what a horrible shock for you. My heart goes out to you and your DD, I just hope you get the negative result you need tomorrow and find the strength to move on (you will, I promise you will). I think PP's advice about not finding out too much is good, you know as much as you need to know that he is not the man you thought he was. Details will be agony, just surround yourself with supportive people and stay strong

toffeeboffin · 24/07/2017 21:16

Hugs and Flowers found xx

mamabae · 24/07/2017 21:18

Thinking of you op..... what a piece of shit. You deserve so much better. You don't need someone like that. Xx

Dancinginthemidnight · 24/07/2017 21:30

So sorry Found, what an absolute bastard.

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