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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

OLD issue - I've been stupid

248 replies

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:09

So I met a bloke through OLD and he seemed A-Mazing! Totally hit it off, details about what he does all checked out totally, had a really brilliant first date which lasted 12 hours. Yes. Really. 12 hours.

Met up with him again. Slept together. A-Mazing. Discussed all sorts of deep and meaningfuls regarding the fact that he never wants kids, but is totally ok with the fact that I have 2 already. We both removed our profiles from the OLD site. All seemed to be going very well...

Then suddenly, a few days ago we were going to Skype and he didn't appear. Then arrived much later than planned, all flustered and finished the convo when his phone rang.

It spooked me enough to go back and check the OLD site and, what would you know, there's another profile which looks like a brand new one. He says it isn't and it's from a while ago, but he was logged in last night at 9 pm. Totally brushed off my concerns and said he'd Skype me tonight to explain. He's no attempt to text or phone me today.

I've been had by a player, haven't I?

Would you Skype or refuse?

OP posts:

Report

ChicRock · 21/04/2017 19:13

Yes you've been played.

Yes you need to delete and block him.

No you don't need a Skype conversation.

TBH with a bit of distance, when you look back, you'll see the big red flags that were flapping in your face right from your first 12 hour date

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:19

I wish I COULD see those flags ChicRock, but I can't. Really honestly seemed genuine. But then I'm new to OLD and frankly I think I'll not bother with it any more.

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:21

He will probably message me later when I don't pick up the Skype. My plan is to see what he's got to say in writing. Which I suspect will be nothing or a poor excuse.

OP posts:

TheNaze73 · 21/04/2017 19:47

If something is too good to be true, it normally is.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 19:48

I can't really see what he's done wrong? Was your first date the first time you'd ever met? If so we are talking about you being virtual strangers, yes? In which case, why would you put all your eggs in his basket and him, yours? After two dates?!

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:55

Yes first date exactly that.
What can I say? He seemed convincing :(

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:56

It was because of what he said Les. He seemed besotted with me. I've been had basicallly.

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:58

Not very helpful by the way. Judgemental and doesn't really help me to feel any better.

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LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 19:59

How have you been had? You had a great date. I'm still confused.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 19:59

Judgemental how??

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:00

He shagged me and is now moving on to the next by the looks of it... So much for 'after a long term relationship'...

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LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 20:00

I dont see what he's done wrong or why you feel you've been had. I'm not judging either one of you?

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 20:01

You shagged him back.

HotNatured · 21/04/2017 20:02

Oh it's shit, OP, OLD is littered with weirdos such as the one you have been unfortunate enough to come across. You live and learn tho, don't give up, just develop a sharper chancer radar and run as far as your legs will carry you when someone is 'besotted' with you after one, albeit rather long, date. Good luck

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:03

Because I thought it was the start of a long term relationship, not one in a line of his shags.

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LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 20:04

Still not judging, nothing wrong with it at all. I slept with my DP on our first date. No judgement here, but do you see shagging as some kind of binding agreement? If so that's where you are going wrong and certainly doing it two dates in if that's how you feel about it. I still dont think he's done anything wrong at all. You shagged each other,enjoyed it presumably, you dont know each other at all so now the shag is out of the way you surely must both be evaluating whether there is potential more than physical there. I say chill out and see where it goes.

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:04

We agreed to remove profiles because we were going to carry on seeing each other.

Days later he's back on there - geddit Les?

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LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 20:06

Long term relationships dont evolve in the space of 12 hours and one shag . Seriously. Maybe it is the start, you'll never know unless you chill out to be honest.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 20:07

There's your problem. You settled for a stranger two dates in and decided there was nobody else out there for you. Now that is weird. Do you not get it?

HotNatured · 21/04/2017 20:07

LesisMiserable what the Op is trying to convey is her shock that this guy gave the impression that he was 'besotted', only to have a change of heart and to have moved on. I get that, it's not a nice feeling to have been played.

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:08

Longer than 12 hours.
I'm not that stupid.
Then two more days and nights, 8 Skype convos, phone calls and texts.

OP posts:

HotNatured · 21/04/2017 20:08

But as I said you live and learn

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:08

No Les YOU don't get it

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:09

Thank you Hot x

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ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 20:10

By the way. I think he's planning on keeping me simmering away while he finds other/s... he's not actually finished it.

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