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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

OLD issue - I've been stupid

248 replies

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:09

So I met a bloke through OLD and he seemed A-Mazing! Totally hit it off, details about what he does all checked out totally, had a really brilliant first date which lasted 12 hours. Yes. Really. 12 hours.

Met up with him again. Slept together. A-Mazing. Discussed all sorts of deep and meaningfuls regarding the fact that he never wants kids, but is totally ok with the fact that I have 2 already. We both removed our profiles from the OLD site. All seemed to be going very well...

Then suddenly, a few days ago we were going to Skype and he didn't appear. Then arrived much later than planned, all flustered and finished the convo when his phone rang.

It spooked me enough to go back and check the OLD site and, what would you know, there's another profile which looks like a brand new one. He says it isn't and it's from a while ago, but he was logged in last night at 9 pm. Totally brushed off my concerns and said he'd Skype me tonight to explain. He's no attempt to text or phone me today.

I've been had by a player, haven't I?

Would you Skype or refuse?

OP posts:

Report

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 21:57

Neon that's what I did with exH. We got married 2 years later. We had 2 kids together. He's now an ex because he turned into an abusive cunt (despite fooling me for yours before we got married) but no doubt you'll think we're divorced because I shagged him straight away

WorzelsCornyBrows · 21/04/2017 21:59

mygast whispers - I think Neongod might be one of them there menfolk.

Blessings was of course intended to patronise, but I'm not that delicate as to care

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 22:00

MyGast I would never sleep with a random stranger straight away. Somehow I never needed to. I am sure you think that women who act like this are fossils from the 50s and our lives must be oh so boring and empty, whereas your life is full of excitement as you shag random blokes on a tombstone in dark cemeteries. Wow! What fun I must be missing out on!

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 22:00

Mummy - yes indeed - weekends that was indeed the plan.

OP posts:

mummymummums · 21/04/2017 22:02

Has he Skyped yet?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:03

Maybe you'd care if you had some dignity Worzels

Nope, never shagged anyone on a tombstone...maybe I should add it to my bucket list.

Neon to be honest I've not wasted any time thinking about what kind of life you may or may not have, but I object to you insinuating I have no dignity because I have had casual sex. Oddly enough I've never 'needed' to have casual sex, it's just something I've wanted to do...I wonder why you're so offended by this?

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 22:07

MyGast your dignity is none of my concern and I don't remember addressing my first comment to you as you were nowhere on the scene. You just barked at me later, taking my first comment as a personal offence. Touché? Did I touch a raw nerve with that comment?

Christinayangstwistedsista · 21/04/2017 22:09

Has he contacted you yet?

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:10

Oh I'm sorry I didn't realise I was only allowed to comment on a post if it was specifically addressed to me.

Touched a nerve? No not really, but I'll call out sexism wherever I see it.

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 22:11

I accept your apology.
Keep fighting sexism.

lifesjoys · 21/04/2017 22:13

Ffs!! The op is pissed because he said to remove their profiles & then he set up a new one!

A guy I was seeing decided to break it off because he wasn't ready for a relationship, wanted to stay single for a while. Hey presto, got online & there's his profile, staying he wants a long term relationship!

Any normal person would be pissed!

WorzelsCornyBrows · 21/04/2017 22:14

MyGast sadly, my dignity is shot to shit, but that has more to do with childbirth and no longer being able to sneeze with confidence, rather than choices I have made with regard to my sex life

lol at the idea one can either be dignified and chaste or shagging on tombstones with gay abandon.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:14

Have you heard from him OP?

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 22:14

Right... the Skype just occurred...

He maintains it's an older profile, set up a couple of months ago (when we were messaging but hadn't yet met). Said it was there because one day he couldn't find another woman's profile on his original profile and thought it was a technical problem, but in fact the profile he was looking up had been removed. He didn't complete the new profile (this is true - it's literally just two sentences). So that sounds plausible so far...

....BUT he logged into it last night and didn't say why. I didn't ask just now. He's removed it. He claims he's not looking for any other women at present and is happy to develop his relationship with me and me only.

Then we chatted about other stuff.

I'm going to mull it all over. I think the next time I see him will have to be during the daytime only and not overnight. See how we fare with that... if he's genuine it won't be an issue to just see me and the date not end in sex.

Comments please?

OP posts:

TurnipCake · 21/04/2017 22:16

as you shag random blokes on a tombstone in dark cemeteries

Having that one carved on my tombstone

TurnipCake · 21/04/2017 22:17

I'd be very wary, Shocking. His words and actions don't match up

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:17

Well I would probably proceed with caution. Actions speak louder than words. But I know it's hard to just shut off feelings once they're there and if you want to continue then nobody on here will change your mind. Just listen to your gut instinct and take it slowly.

Christinayangstwistedsista · 21/04/2017 22:18

Bit cold and hard on a tombstone I would think

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:18

Turnip can I come and shag a random man on your tombstone? (Assuming you die before me that is )

TurnipCake · 21/04/2017 22:19

Of course MyGast but only if you act in a truly undignified, unladylike manner

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:20

I do apologise OP we've completely hijacked your thread with all this tombstone talk. Most importantly, how do YOU feel having spoken to him?

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 22:20

Literally the only thing that makes me wary is that BOTH of you are having any kind of relationship chat. I think if you can both shleve that right now, it might go ok. Listen, date, have fun, have sex, take it easy. Enjoy it and dont overthink it.

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tallwivglasses · 21/04/2017 22:21

Take Les's advice and breathe

calzone · 21/04/2017 22:22

I thought OLD was a new dating website for the more mature.

Just realised it stands for online dating 😀

MiddleClassProblem · 21/04/2017 22:24

Why didn't you ask him? Makes no sense to me.

I wouldn't dump a guy after 2 dates who might be keeping his options open. Sometimes even if you're really sure about something you can still question it even if you're not actively pursuing other options (having a browse is not the same as contacting and dating, if doing the latter he should be honest with you about it). Did the taking down profiles idea come from you or him?

Flip

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