Husband using prostitutes

[shockedandshaken]

Hello - I've name-changed for this for obvious reasons. This morning I found out that my husband has been using prostitutes. I've found evidence through an online account going back several years. I suspect now that this is something that he's always done. I'm shocked and feel sick - I can't even feel angry yet. I can't believe I'm writing this thread. I've read so many on here and felt desperately sorry for the posters, and now it's my turn. He won't be back from work until this evening. I'm not sure what to do. I've got a school event to get through this afternoon. I've taken as much evidence as I can find and have emailed it to myself and copied it to a couple of devices so that he can't deny anything. I'll take my DD to my Mum's before he's back. I've told a friend IRL. Trying to think of how I want the conversation to go with him but it feels so surreal. Any advice?

You should be ok based on that

Condoms may not prevent genital warts and herpes.

User if you need support I would create your own new thread as this one is quite old.

Hi user I'm in exactly the same position, you aren't on your own

You are obviously upset which is understandable but when things have settled down a bit my perspective may be useful. You see, married men go to prostitutes for adventure and, in most cases, come back to their spouses for stability. These two needs are almost completely separated in male brains - very rarely would they want more from a prostitute than quick relief. The whole issue only becomes a drama if a wifey starts snooping around the laptops and phones - otherwise the two worlds would stay safely separated and everyone would be happy. It is one of the Ignorance is Bliss type situations. He will not lose interest in his family just because he has seen a few pros. Actually many guys claim that using prostitutes has saved their marriage so let's not be too dramatic

Or you could leave him and find a man with emotional intelligence who enjoys sex with his wife and wouldn't dream of buying access to another woman's body.

It's a horrid shock - don't allow your fears and worries to shackle you to this deceitful abusive man.

Reasonable, thoughtful and respectful married men don't go to prostitutes. At all. They talk to their wives if they feel that there's something lacking in their lives, and then work out how to resolve that lack.

Marriages which can only be saved by being bored at home, indulging in extramarital sex, and deceiving your life-partner are not the sort of marriages I'd want to save.

FFS.

User 14978. Obviously a bloke. "Wifey"

user1498780276
What a load of shit.

Looks like we may have a representative from ukpunters here again

harmlesschap my thoughts exactly.

User 14978. Obviously a bloke. "Wifey"

My thoughts exactly! My other thought: bollocks to that!

I'm pretty sure very few 'wifeys' would want their marriage to some gigantic liar, cheat and let's not forget mysoginist pervert saved by getting his pox riddled end away with women he pays for. I wouldn't.

Bye Dave from Dartmouth, don't waste your breath and give your mum our regards.

user if her DH isn't making her cum enough would it be agreed she has every right to pick someone up from a bar or hire a male escort?

As long as she's careful and doesn't make it obvious of course.

I am so sorry I hope that both you and your DD will be fine after all this shock again I don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run

I totally agree with you prostitutes within a marriage is not acceptable, i am in the middle of a divorce after findingout after 20 years of marriage that prostitutes have been used, its total betrayal and disgusting if anyone puts up with this they have no respect for themselves, there are plenty of decent men who are out there and dont use prostitutes, it is NOT normal, sorry, he will do it again. I found out that my husband had used a prostitute even as a young man so once they have dipped their toe in and had the thrill the likelihood is they will return. Good luck

Of course it's not acceptable - it's an appalling betrayal and, for me, unforgivable. And I don't want to be married to a man who thinks it's acceptable because it's "separate" or that it's acceptable to buy women's bodies for an hour here and there. It is vile.

user1498780276 crawl back to UKpunting

Decent men don't go to prostitutes. End of.

Wives wouldn't need to look at laptops if they didn't have a gut feeling that their complete shite of a husband was shagging around.

Turning a situation around where the husband shags prostitutes in violation of normal moral standards to it being a problem with the wife is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

If you're a bloke User (which of course you are, straight out of the gutter that is UKPunting membership no doubt) then you really need to know that you are not, in fact, normal and cannot speak on behalf of the majority of decent men. I happen to hold the men I know in high regard and I have a good opinion of men overall. You are to men what ISIS are to Muslims.

If you're a woman (highly unlikely) you need therapy if your self esteem and/or opinion of men is so very low that you believe what you've written.

I hope you get through this its hard I know but make sure you get lots of support from family or friends and relate is really good for talking things through. Remember you have high morals, he doesnt and never will and if he wants women this t as my husband did/ does, its time for divorce.

Thanks user1492579407 - I hope things get better for you too, I'm sure they will.

I'm doing ok mostly, but there are ups and downs. Family and friends have been supportive (well, most of them) and I've been having counselling, which I find incredibly painful but it's certainly helping me navigate this mess.

That's actually given me a proper laugh user

I should be pleased if my husband betrays the promises he voluntarily made to me, to fuck prostitutes, because they need the money?

OK.

Or, I don't know... maybe I could be proud of the husband I've got, who donates to food banks - helping vulnerable families... and not a penny of it going to wealthy pimps or the people that own the AW website?

You're not so clever with your shite, really. So so fuck off.

If you're so inadequate that you can't develop a good sex life with wifey and 'have' to resort to paying for it, more fool you.

User1498780276 you are a DICKHEAD!

So user you would be ok with your wifey using male sex workers because you are too busy down the local brothel to connect with her?
No I didnt think so. So why is it ok for you or other married men?
Talking utter self serving shite.

Views like this are sooooo bloody uneducated.