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Original poster

Can I ask what you would do?

374 replies

sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:36

If you discovered your husband had been sending stupid texts? Not explicit at all, but definitely flirty, to a teenage girl. He claims she was low in confidence and he was just trying to cheer her up.

OP posts:
KinkyAfro · 19/03/2017 09:36

Fuck him right off

Fruitcocktail6 · 19/03/2017 09:37

I would be fuming and disgusted. How old is she and how does he know her?

pinkyredrose · 19/03/2017 09:38

What did the texts say and how old is the girl? How did he meet her?

Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:39

She was doing work experience at his company. She's 17.

OP posts:
Isthismummy · 19/03/2017 09:39

Trying to cheer her up?? Ugh, ugh, ugh. I would think he was a disgusting sleaze and kick him out.

What do you want to do though op?

How old is your not so dear h?

iremembericod · 19/03/2017 09:40

I'd think he was a dirty pervert and hope I had the strength to ditch him

Isthismummy · 19/03/2017 09:40

He sent flirty texts to a really young girl doing her work experience?

Bloody hell op. He'd have to go. SorrySad

Goforit2017 · 19/03/2017 09:40

I would call him everything and throw him out.

I did experience exactly this with an ex. It was so embarrassing and I could never forgive him even though he begged and pleaded and tried to play it down. Fortunately the girl involved handled it brilliantly and asked him where his boundaries were but if she was more immature or vulnerable I dread to think what could have happened.

Rainbowqueeen · 19/03/2017 09:40

I'd seriously question his judgement! What would happen next would depend on his reaction to me being upset.

Honestly not sure if I would be able to recover from this.
Flowers for you. Don't let him minimise, demand complete honesty and think really hard about what You want

Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:41

41, hardly in the first flush of his twenties. Old enough to be her dad Hmm

OP posts:
ClemDanfango · 19/03/2017 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KinkyAfro · 19/03/2017 09:42

Can you give an example of the texts?

Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:44

Things like "you will look fit in that babe" when she showed him a photo of clothes she'd bought. And "lucky me cruising to work with a fit babe by my side" (he'd bought a new car.)

OP posts:
BakeOffBiscuits · 19/03/2017 09:46

I'd say he's a perverted creep.

And if I was the parent of the 17 year old, I woudl be reporting your H to the school, his bosses, etc etc.

pinkyredrose · 19/03/2017 09:46

That's massively inappropriate of him. What response was he expecting?!

PhoenixJasmine · 19/03/2017 09:46

I'd be having a very serious conversation about how inappropriate it was. Possibly criminal if he suggested meeting up and she is under 16, that could be construed as child grooming under the sexual offences act I think.

Questions for me would be, why does he think it's his job to cheer her up? Why does he think flirting with her will do that or is even an acceptable thing to do? Would he flirt with adult women if he thought they needing cheering up? Can he see how flirting with other people could affect his relationship with you? Would he send these messages if he knew you would see them? Has he kept this a secret from you and if so why? What does he think the girl's parents would think of him approaching their teenage daughter in this way?

There'd be few answers that I'd find acceptable and this would give me serious doubts as to continuing with the marriage. He'd need to do a lot of work to win me back I think.

Isthismummy · 19/03/2017 09:46

He'd be divorced for the use of the term "fit babe" as much as anything else.

I'm disgusted on your behalf op. What are you going to do?

winkywinkola · 19/03/2017 09:46

He's an older guy talking like that to a young girl? Very disappointing.

Sounds like a real loser thinking he's a king when a 17 year old girl is flattered by his attentions.

Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:48

Hot babe in my car sorry. Fit was relating to the clothes. Not that it matters. I don't know. Part of me feels as you do. Disgusted. Shocked. A big part. But another part recognises they aren't actually explicit in any way, I don't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:48

And yeah. I think he was very VERY flattered by such a young girl obviously adoring him.

OP posts:
Annesmyth123 · 19/03/2017 09:50

Since he's in a position of responsibility over her he's in deep shit. That smells like grooming to me. www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/grooming/

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_Offences_(Amendment)_Act_2000 Sexual activity with a young person when in a position of trust.

Either way, I'd be kicking him out.

Original poster
sharksscareme · 19/03/2017 09:51

Just be be clear Anne there was no sexual activity, at all. That's on a whole other level. I am not justifying him but he did not touch her, or her him.

OP posts:
stitchglitched · 19/03/2017 09:51

He's a sleazy creep abusing a position of trust. I would be disgusted and he'd be out the door.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 19/03/2017 09:53

He did not touch her
Yet......
Ltb.

FritzDonovan · 19/03/2017 09:53

He's a sad middle aged loser, who should know better at his age. Poor girl. I'd be worried he was VERY flattered as he obv doesn't know what respectful boundaries are wrt your relationship.

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