to think DP should get himself up in the morning?

[EnoughAlready999]

He sets about 3 alarm his phone but turns them all off and goes back to sleep until I come up and say it's 8 / ten past whatever. He then blames me for him being in a rush, calls me rude/ignorant etc. My daughterlikes to be early for school so we leave at 8.25/8.30 but he adds stress to it all by holding us up and sometimes (like this morning) smoking in the car which DD hates (she knows it's illegal too!)

I've told him I will stop talking to him in the morning as its just upsetting. I don't see why I should be spoken to like that. He says he ddoesn't know why I'm like it as though I'm the rude one.

Buy an airhorn and use that to wake him up! Say you wanted to be absolutely sure he'd heard you, so you can't be blamed for him being in a rush!

Well he sounds delightful.

Tell him new regime. He gets himself up and if he isn't ready to go with the rest of you he gets himself to work.

Having a daily argue
WMt with your partner which is more appropriate to a stroppy teenager isn't edifying for either of you.

He's an adult, you aren't his Mum.

I'd find this behaviour deeply unattractive.

Get yourself and your daughter up and off to school without him. Why stress out your own day trying to parent a grown adult??

How far away is the school?

I'm guessing if you can leave at 8.30am and still be there early, it's also a walkable distance?

Leave him to be late for work, he'll soon get the idea

Why's it your job to get a man child up in the morning? Tell him to google sonic bomb alarm clock. (Or tell him to do one, that works too).

Where an action or in this case, a lack of action has no consequence, then nothing will change. Don't be his Mum

Some people aren't morning people my Mam had to have two or three coffees before she got up( my DF was a sahd) my DH is the same on a weekend but some how manages to get up at half 6.30 every morning x

Do you need him to get out on a morning? Maybe just see to yourselves and leave him to it?

I assume he smokes in the car as you drop him to work after dropping your DD?

You don't need to be a 'morning person', to put your feet on the floor when your alarm goes off for work.

You just need to be an adult.

Sounds like you have a teenager not a DH.

The smoking is the bigger issue for me. Not only is it illegal she shouldn't have to suffer his second hand smoke!

School is 10-15 mins drive away, gate opens at 8.40 so DD likes to be there for that. We drop him on the way so no Hacker he smokes in the car with DD. That doesn't usually happen, think he did it today to piss me off just a little bit more.

And don't give me the "he's not a morning person" shite. Neither am I but I get up with DD every single fucking morning, ill/pregnant/depressed/whatever. I think he's quite lucky that he doesn't have to get up til 8. I'd love to know what time most other fathers get up - please tell!

Leave him in bed & go without him.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but why on earth do you put up with this? Why do you let him speak to you like that, openly flout the law and subject your daughter to second-hand smoking?

What's he like the rest of the time?

He's an arsehole most of the time especially now I'm pregnant.

Worra school is 2.3 miles away so a bit far to walk.

He sounds more like a teenager than a grown man. I refuse to have the responsibility for waking anyone up from secondary school age onwards. It took DS1 a while to understand this, but now both he and DS2 are quite independent in the morning. They also know that if they want a lift to school, if they aren't in the car when I am ready to go, I will go without them (actually, I do give them 30 seconds or so of leeway).
I would treat him like the teeenager he is acting like.
FWIW, my DH got up at 3.30am this morning and, no, I didn't need to wake him. and more importantly, he didn't wake me

He smoked in a car that contained not only a child, but also a pregnant woman!

WTF?

Just leave him where he is if he's ignoring his alarms. His boss will soon make him aware that he's responsible for getting himself to work.

And the smoking in the car thing...he wouldn't still be in the car if he'd lit up with my daughter in there.

Your DP sounds like a teenager.

I get up around 7.20 and get DD up if she's not already awake. I make myself and DH a cup of tea, and take his up. I feed the cat, feed DD, make sure she has her uniform, and do her hair (She's 5). DH gets up about 8.10, gets showered, dressed and takes her to school.

Get him a louder alarm clock, set it for 7.30. Call him at 7.45 and just tell him that that's his last call, if he isn't ready by 8.30 you're going without him. And tell him if he ever smokes in the car with DD you'll be going without him anyway.

Drive you DD to school and leave him to make his own way to work.

So him going to work depends on your good will? Tell him it's ran out and if he's not ready to go when you are you're going without him.

As for the smoking, stop the car and both you and the bairn get out and wait for him to finish. He's the one that'll feel like a tit sitting there.

I think you tell hm that from now on you are not going to be responsible for getting him up in the morning. He is an adult and can manage this himself. If he isn’t up and ready then you just leave with your DD. I suspect it will only happen once then strangely he will find he is able to get up with no prompting.