to think DP should get himself up in the morning?

[EnoughAlready999]

He sets about 3 alarm his phone but turns them all off and goes back to sleep until I come up and say it's 8 / ten past whatever. He then blames me for him being in a rush, calls me rude/ignorant etc. My daughterlikes to be early for school so we leave at 8.25/8.30 but he adds stress to it all by holding us up and sometimes (like this morning) smoking in the car which DD hates (she knows it's illegal too!)

I've told him I will stop talking to him in the morning as its just upsetting. I don't see why I should be spoken to like that. He says he ddoesn't know why I'm like it as though I'm the rude one.

He sounds awful Op - nasty and very childish.

Accepting in your heart that it may be over is a big step so all you have to do now is think of the practicalities.

I definitely think asking him to leave and having some time apart is the first step.

Please, please don't underestimate the effect his behaviour and attitude towards you may be having on your daughter too.

My sister left her partner of ten years because her DP was a total shit, spoke to her and treated her horrendously, and what made my sister leave was seeing how much damage it was doing to their children, then aged 5 and 7. An unhappy home can be very destructive to children.

Your (not so D) P sound like he emotionally abuses you. How long has he been like this? If he usually remorseful and do you think his remorse is genuine or is he simply being manipulative to keep you where he wants you? Does he treat DD similarly? I think you are at a point you need to have a long hard think about why you stay with him. Consider DD and your unborn child and their future. Are they really in the best place with a man who treats their mother so badly?

He sounds like a proper wanker.

The first time my DH called me 'rude and ignorant' for 'not waking me up' would be the last. I'm not his mother and I don't get treated like shit by men.

Happy to help.

I have a suspicion this is going to be a steady stream of incidents you are concerned about. Don't waste any energy sending him texts about you crying. He isn't interested. He wants to convince you you're 'the mad one' and you 'make him do it'.

Harden your heart and make preparations to go. You deserve better, your children deserve better. And no, relationships don't have to be like this, men don't have to act like this. This is one of those times where your 'gosh he sure annoyed me a little bit today!' observations is in fact deeply distressing to those of us who have never experienced such behaviour from a loved one.

We should've known OP, it's all your fault. you make him behave like a nasty twat. You! It's all you! You just need to try harder and he won't be forced into behaving like an arsehole.

God he is just a vile excuse for a man isn't he?

It sounds like you'd be better off emotionally and financially without him

To me those texts scream

"Give me more sex!"

He sounds like a nasty prick, smoking in the car with his child and pregnant chauffeur.

OP if Cocklodger was in the dictionary your partners picture would be right next to the description!

He's treating you,your DD and your unborn child like crap!Tell him to fuck off,you'll be alot happier without him around.You can do it,I chose to become a single Mum and I had 3 young DC,4 days after I'd split up with my ex I found out I was pregnant.I didn't take him back I stayed single and it was the best decision I've ever made.

I went onto meet my now DH(we've been together over 10 years now)and we went onto have our 5th DC.My DH is up by 7 every morning,if our youngest DD8 wakes before then(which she often does she's autistic and disabled)my DH gets up straight away and goes and see's to her no matter if it's 1,2 or 3 in the morning.
That's what part of being a real man,a good partner and Father are all about,it's about putting the one's you love before yourself,that doesn't sound like something your partner has ever been willing to do.

You and your child(den) deserve more op.

I think I would be sending "I care about you, but I'm not your mum and I'm not going to run around after you getting you up for school in the mornings. I already have a second child on the way, I can't take you on as a third."

What a fucking prick. That bollocks about not wanting to be horrible screams emotional abuse to me.

OP, those text messages sound so manipulative and like he's trying to guilt trip you, don't let him! You and your children deserve better and if that means being a single mum, then so be it. For the record I left an abusive marriage (mostly emotional abuse) just over three years ago now - best decision I ever made

Yes PissOff

It's like "I didn't want to hit you but you made me so angry"

You have a car and can drive. I would possibly load up the car and drive to a relative (or Womens Aid or homeless) to get away from this lazy lad.
Or you could say that this car leaves the house at (this time) with or without you if you are not up and dressed in time. Smokers will not be tolerated in this car.
If you are really fond of the house and you want to stay on in it, he would provide for your DD and the expected baby. I am not always keen on the staying on thing because if you move away you presumably (hopefully)don't have to give your new address to an abusive man.
If the P is not particularly generous you might find yourself more comfortable on single parent benefits. Something to think about.

Just on phone to Women's Aid.

I can only echo everyone else.

He's a dick.

You really need to think seriously about the future. It is not your responsibility to get him up.

What's made me laugh is his comment about 'where you would be without him?'

I think it would be driving past him standing at the fucking bus stop don't you?

Well done - they can be very helpful.
I hope they are for you.
It's a big first step and you've done it.

You should also make an appointment to speak to CAB.
They can tell you about benefits, housing, tax credits etc....
You may find you'll be far better off without him.

But one step at a time.

Just on phone to Women's Aid.

x post.

thats brilliant, hope they can help

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP... But everyone is right, you are not the one with the problem. He is. He is emotionally abusing you, treating you like shit and this is NOT how a normal loving relationship should be.
You and your DD are getting nothing from this relationship except unhappiness and stress. It won't be any better when the baby comes.
You deserve better, and you can do better on your own.

Sorry, just saw the Women's Aid post, well done OP.. That's a great first step.

I've just read through and agree with everyone else. Also, from what you've said it seems you're doing the right thing.

I'm a single Mum with 3 DCs and we get along juyst fine. Agree with hellsbells though- make sure you sort finances as quickly as you can.

Just on phone to Women's Aid.

I'm so glad. Fully understanding your options is a great first step to making the right decisions for you and your dc.

I couldn't just pack up and drive to Women's Aid as he's not violent.

Just spoke to them and they assumed it was a violent relationship. As it's not there's not an awful lot they can do apart from giving practical advice. She suggested I go to Relate and pay. Shame I put all my money into buying this house.

Is he your partner or your husband? If you separate, would you have to buy him off the house?
As long as he is working, he owes you maintenance for your children anyway.

Coffeeisnectar he'd disagree with that as he'd say I wouldn't be able to afford the car.