to think DP should get himself up in the morning?

[EnoughAlready999]

He sets about 3 alarm his phone but turns them all off and goes back to sleep until I come up and say it's 8 / ten past whatever. He then blames me for him being in a rush, calls me rude/ignorant etc. My daughterlikes to be early for school so we leave at 8.25/8.30 but he adds stress to it all by holding us up and sometimes (like this morning) smoking in the car which DD hates (she knows it's illegal too!)

I've told him I will stop talking to him in the morning as its just upsetting. I don't see why I should be spoken to like that. He says he ddoesn't know why I'm like it as though I'm the rude one.

My dd is 24 and likes to imply I should get her up. Which I don't! Today she was late for work (@12.30 so not even early) and I knew she wasn't getting up so just left her. Only way they will learn.
You need to put your foot down with your DP or you'll be doing this forever!

Whhhhhyyy?? Why woman, WHY are you doing this?

Tell him tonight 'From now on you're responsible for getting yourself up you lazy fuckwit'.

You are being rude? How exactly are you being rude? by waking him up or by not waking him up? Please please grow a set and tell him to do one.

Then tomorrow, get up, sort your yourself and your daughter out and leave on time. If he can't get up like any other adult has to, then that's his problem.

Are you his partner or his mother?

And don't expose your child to second hand smoke because of this twatnugget.

Dh used to have a problem getting up. Funnily enough once I followed advice on here and stopped letting him make it his responsibility he managed to sort his own shit out.

gamerchicks advice is spot on wrt the smoking. He sounds like a tit op.

DH gets up between 5-6:30 depending on how shirt his co-workers have been. He's never once asked me to get him up. DS1 gets himself up for school but the one time he tried to bake me when he slept in he was given short shrift. He said I should have noticed he wasn't in.. I mostly always check that DD is up as she gets up at the last minute and has to catch a bus. The younger one gets up when he wants as he doesn't go anywhere.

Make today the last time he treats you and your child and unborn baby as less important than him. Smoking in the car to piss you off 😡😡😡

Come on OP. Stop doing it. Tell him you will not be waking him up tomorrow, mean it and do it

"He's an arsehole most of the time especially now I'm pregnant"

Tha would be a red flag for me. I'd be seriously considering what exactly I was getting out of the relationship in your shoes.

As an example of what time my partner gets up (since you asked) 7 or earlier if DD wakes up before then. He goes for a shower then takes DD downstairs to have breakfast with him so I can dick about on my phone then go for a shower before he gets for work. YANBU to not expect an earful for not mothering him.

I'd love to know what time most other fathers get up - same time I do. Which is when the kids wake up. I would not think it's reasonable for him to nap while I run around getting kids and myself fed and ready. Fuck that.

Oh dear and you're having another child with this cock!
The things people put up with is beyond me.
I smoke, but if anyone tried to smoke in my car I'd kick them the fuck out of it. It's gross.

The way he speaks to you is a leavable offence on it's own.
Having to mother a man-child is another.
Having to deal with his tantrums and rebellion is another.

Seriously. You need to have a long hard look at this ass of a man.
What does he really bring to the table regarding your relationship?

GamerChick that would just stress out my daughter as it would make us late. He wouldn't care as he ends up really early for work.

I might start setting the alarm on my phone and leaving it on the landing but that is all I'll do.

He thinks he can speak to me like that because I am just a useless SAHM who hasn't worked for 3 years and can't hold down a job. Yesterday he even said "where would you be without me?", implying that I'd be a single mum in social housing. We just bought this house, an ex council house, so I thought there's not much difference - it's often just me & DD and I quite often feel skint as he's so tight. I'd probably be a lot happier if I was a single mum.

He sounds like an absoulte dick. Smoking in the car to piss you off even though your daughter was in the car and you are pregnant!!! What an utter utter prick. He is abusive towards you because he can't get his lazy arse out of bed!!!! Leave him to it. Get up. Get you and dd sorted and leave the house. God. He is making me feel angry so I can only imagine how you feel.

My hubbie up at 515 and brings me a cup of tea at 545 ! He leaves then . Kids have to be up by 630 to leave at 730 .
I feel embarrassed for him .
Smoking in the car is really really ignorant .
He does not sound like a pleasant man

It's complicated because you are trying to placate him.

Instead tell him: we leave at 8.30 on the dot. If you're ready, you can come. If not make your own way to work.

Don't bother waking him if he has set an alarm.

Just tell him he can get himself up in future because all you get for helping him is shit. So you're not helping him anymore. Because he is an adult.

Do what gamerchick says. If he starts to smoke stop the car and tell him either he gets out or you do. And stick to it. If it makes your dd late then tell him tomorrow you will have to leave at 8.20. And stick to it. He'll soon get the message. Or give you heap loads of abuse, which is when you need to think about what is really going on. Especially if he ups the anti when you are pregnant.

DP gets up anytime 6.45-7.30 dependent on when little one gets up. He sometimes sleeps through his alarm and I sometimes give him a prod if I know he needs to get up but he is grateful and never blames me for something that is his fault. Because he is a kind person.

"I'd love to know what time most other fathers get up"

DH gets up at 6 if he has to be in for 9, or with me at 7 if that's not crucial. The alarm wakes us both times - DH is straight into the shower (if he's up at 7) after I've woken DD3 and taken her to the loo, after which I give her breakfast and have a cup of tea myself.

Our alarm is of the type that gets louder and louder and LOUDER until you switch it off before it deaf.ens* everyone in the house.

(*frickin' spell checker won't let me type that word - wtaf?!)

Molyholy I just feel like crying

EnoughAlready999

How old are you and your partner?

Since you asked, my DH gets himself up 6.30 am and gets ready for work without disturbing anyone.

On weekends he is up 5.30am and drives DD2 to her sports training a hour away.

OP your husband needs to change his ways.

Oh OP I soooo feel your pain. My H is terrible at waking up and it used to drive me up the wall.
He can pretty much decide what time he goes to work so I was never sure whether I should or shouldn't give him a nudge. I couldn't do right for doing wrong to be honest. If I wake him he'd go mad at me because he's an adult and can manage his sleep pattern himself. If I don't wake him he'd go just as mad at me because I'm a selfish bitch and don't care that he's going to be late for work.
Thankfully I am now in a position where I don't give a flying fuck what he does and he knows it =)

You don't need to be a 'morning person', to put your feet on the floor when your alarm goes off for work.

Agree. I'm not a morning person in any way; I'd prefer to stay up all night. But that doesn't stop me from starting work at 7am four days a week. I just get up and get on with it. Even on the days I wasn't able to fall asleep until 3 or 4 am.

OP, I'd just leave him to it. It's not your job to get an adult out of bed.

I'm 34, he's 33. DD is 10.

He calls you rude and ignorant, he subjects you, your daughter and your unborn child to second hand smoke, and he has nothing but contempt for you.

Get rid of this absolute waste of space.

He's an arsehole most of the time especially now I'm pregnant.

And you stay with him because……….?

My dp gets up at 5:30, all on his own (because he's an adult who takes responsibility for himself) goes to the gym before starting work at 8:00. He makes sure he's in bed in time to ensure that this isn't difficult for him to do. If he has a late night for any reason, he still gets himself up at 5:30.

Sounds like your dp needs to go to bed a bit earlier? He should have worked that out for himself though. Either let him figure it out for himself (like a big boy) or, if you're resigned to being his parent forever, give him an earlier bed time so that getting him up in the morning is easier on you.

Sorry OP, sounds like you've landed yourself a winner here