Affair - learning to survive

[OpheliaRose]

I'be linked to my previous thread here which contains links to the first threads in the OP

I want to thank everyone again for all their support. As the title suggests I'm about to tart learning to survive

You've started mrs,,well done xx

....and you WILL come out of this stronger and happier. Right now it doesn't seem like it, but it will.

Some coping mechanisms for me when my ex walked out on me, was to refocus on my then 2 month old, I retrained, I took up exercise, 14 years on, I'm happy, healthy, independent, secure and living the life I was destined to live. My children are well adjusted, happy, healthy, well mannered, intelligent boys. I'm pretty chuffed with myself and where I'm at now with my life.

You will survive (in the voice of Gloria Gaynor)

I've read all your threads, and you sound such a nice, sweet person. Therefore, on your behalf, I would like to volunteer to be first in the queue to give your STBXH a punch in the face, along with the smug WF.

koko

Ah! Here you are.
Dropping in to send you and DT's my love.

Is it your weekend? Anything planned?

Very positive title opheliarose. Things can only get better.

Such a positive thread title Phee! Thinking of you often ??

Just checking in to say hello again. You're doing brilliantly! Hope you have a good weekend and your dt is feeling better.

And you are doing so brilliantly! So many of us here are supporting and cheering you on - as I am sure people are in RL.

Did you say it was back to work inJuly? Can your mum or a friend go shopping with you today if DTs are with STBXH? A new working wardrobe for your new beginnings is in order I think

morning

I had my friend over last night for Chinese and we watched a film. I spent most of it trying to pretend i wasn't crying but my friend was very understanding as she's been through similar when her ex left. It was nice to have the company.

Yes Holding I start back in July and I'm very nervous about it. When we agreed I'd be a SAHM i took a year maternity then extended it into a career break so i'd have the option to go back to the same work place when they were 3 but that was all under different circumstance. So it all feels very different in my head now, i'm grateful i can go back to a familiar work place even if its not the same job (as this new one suits my new life circumstance better) but I just worry I will spend all day crying or people will give me pitying looks as they all know my H and DTs

DTs are with me this weekend and I'm not sure what we will do yet. The weather is very wet still today for us. We do need to get some shopping but otherwise I think we'll stay home. I have a cake mix in the cupboard so I think we might make that as the twins enjoy baking.

At the moment they're sat on the sofa watching Beauty and the Beast eating breakfast so thats given me a chance to clean the kitchen.

How about planning some strategies for being back at work? Whatever appeals - choosing a special bracelet, practising confidence in the mirror, mantras, emergency procedures etc.

Found you! Morning, Phee.
Great start with your new thread title.

Get onto Pinterest and search for kids craft ideas. I've been looking at recipes for play dough and moon-sand here.

KOKO.

Buy more clothes...for work and lesiure!

My three year old loves baking too....how about biscuits? You can then spend time decorating them with icing, edible glitter etc.

Also. Do you have a roll of brown paper? My daughter loves me drawing around her and then we spend time filling the silhouette with stickers etc..

You are surviving, good title.

Well done Phee

What a dark time you are going through but you are making it - keep it up

Re: counselling, another low cost option you may like to consider is to receive counselling from trainees in the last 2 years of their counselling masters. They will be in supervision from a very experienced colleague, but it should be offered at a much cheaper rate.

If you are in London, one organisation I am aware of is Westminster Pastoral Foundation which offers counselling from traine counsellors at a low cost based on clients income.

If you are outside of London, I recommend you google masters in psychotherapy in your city and call them to see if any of their masters students need clients and how much they charge.

If you want a more experienced practitioner, make sure they are BACP or UKCP registered, as anyone can call themselves a "counsellor" with no qualifications, but it is the registration that shows they have the qualifications and certified experience.

Hey Phee - just checking in on your new thread. Glad you enjoyed your friend's company last night. Hope you and the DTs are having some fun today.

I'm due back at work at the start of July too - will be thinking of you. It'll be great to have something else to focus on and a huge confidence boost too!

Enjoy the baking today - from your posts I picture a mini Topsy and Tim :)

I am sure your work colleagues won't be giving you pitying looks, more like WTF is wrong with her ex for letting her go looks. Remember also that probably half of them will have been through something similar too, sadly this club is not very exclusive.

Hope you have a lovely weekend with your DT's. In the gaps between beating each other up mine have been helping dust, doing playdough and made an indoor tent. Both have just gone for an afternoon nap - peace.......

eminthebigsmoke lol if only they were so well behaved and I was as glamorous as the mum in Topsy and Tim

We watched the trooping of the colour as DS was fascinated by all the people in uniform. Just put dinner in the oven to slow cook and tidied up a bit. Now twins are upstairs listening to Room on the broom and playing with their toys while I attempt to clean the bathroom.

They Don't seem to want a nap today which is a shame as i'm feeling rather sleepy.

I cried at an advert today and also reading a new story so my mood is still all over the place but i'm trying to stay positive

I'm so pleased you had your friend over. It's great that people want to be there for you.
A day at home with the twins is lovely. You don't need to be all singing and dancing or feel the need to compete. You are their constant and they will rely on that.
Think of you often

Gerti at the moment we're sorting the house situation (ie him paying off the mortgage and signing it over to me) and also sorting the financial side of things. I filed for Divorce but I think he really wants it more than me.

I know in my heart of hearts once we're free he'll be thinking of marrying the OW why else would you throw away 12 years and a beautiful family