Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend ran over to ask me this morning why there was a pretty young lady in our car with my fella!

207 replies

Trio · 27/09/2006 16:59

Im willing to accept that maybe im being a bit daft about this, BUT, i called and asked dp and he said yes, she is called Rachel, she started work there a few weeks ago and he has been picking her and giving her a lift ever since! We only have one car and up until a few weeks ago (funnily enough) i had the car most of the time as he got a lift of a friend, but suddenly he decided he needs the car all the time - hmm i wonder why that is! AND she only lives round the corner from us - why has he failed to tell me all of this? and only told me grudgingley when i asked him about it? My friend said she looked really young and pretty! im trying not to be silly about it but i have to wonder why he hasnt said anything at all about her!

OP posts:
Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:02
Hmm
lulumama · 27/09/2006 17:03

is he being helpful to a new colleague who lives locally???? or am i too naive???

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 17:04

Hmm I think that is odd

It wouldn't be if he had told you but the fact that he suddenly started using the car and hid the reason from you is very suspect...

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:04

was your friend stirring it do you think?
I'd still be feeling a bit like you though if I'm honest. The young and pretty bit is irrelevant imo the fact that he failed to mention it is.

lulumama · 27/09/2006 17:05

have you any other cause for concern or has all been fine -

Original poster
Trio · 27/09/2006 17:05

Well apparently thats all it is lulumama, but why have i never heard of her?

OP posts:
NatalieJane · 27/09/2006 17:05

Bloody hell it is only a lift to work...

Sorry but I don't see how it is the end of the world.

Not really aimed at the OP but there seems to be so many posts like this on MN, does no one trust their DH???

Original poster
Trio · 27/09/2006 17:05

Maybe not NJ......

OP posts:
Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:06

of course but by the same token I would expect him to be open and honest with me, presumably the OP and her dh talk, would he not mention a new colleague, oh and she lives just round the corner, thought I'd give her a lift - you know, that sort of thing ......

Rhubarb · 27/09/2006 17:06

Nice friend you have there.

I'd tell him to inform her to make her own travel arrangements in future as you need the car from now on. And if he is keeping things from you at this stage of the relationship, I would question it all tbh.

lulumama · 27/09/2006 17:07

maybe (being a bloke and not thinking things through) he thought no reason to tell you as 'i didn;t want to upset/annoy /piss you off' and you'd only get cross and no reason to tell you as only a lift to work.....blokes do this all the time even when nothing to hide!

Rhubarb · 27/09/2006 17:08

NJ, it's the not telling her. I go by the rules that if it is innocent, the dp would say so, but men usually only hide something if they are feeling guilty about it.

Yes it is only a lift to work and if he had been upfront about it she wouldn't really have a right to complain, but how would you honestly feel if you knew your partner had been giving a pretty young thing a lift to (and possibly from) work every day and he hadn't mentioned it?

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:09

he stopped getting his lift though hasn't he? why didn't the 3 of them share?

WigWamBam · 27/09/2006 17:09

Dh always tells me if he's expecting to give someone a lift ... I'd be very suspicious if I found he was doing this and hadn't told me.

Although I'd also be a bit suspicious of someone who was so keen to run over and tell me what she'd seen.

lulumama · 27/09/2006 17:09

if i trusted my husband implicitly i wouldn't think any more of it than he was an idiot to not tell me - that automatically makes it more of a big deal -

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 27/09/2006 17:11

I wouldnt like it. Would be very suspicious.

NatalieJane · 27/09/2006 17:14

Sorry, but I don't see why him giving someone a lift to work causes concern.

Maybe the fact that he didn't tell you about it, and you have reacted the way you have since finding out, says more about your relationship than you would care to admit?

brimfull · 27/09/2006 17:16

I would be suspicious aswell.

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:17

Bloke gut instinct: He hasn't done anything but he fancies her. Up to you how you want to handle it. I wouldn't necessarily suggest going in guns blazing as NJ says, it is only a lift to work IYSWIM, but it's the fact that he didn't tell you abou this new person who works at the same place and lives round the corner etc. etc. dh is probably only being reticient because he's been busted LOL

NatalieJane · 27/09/2006 17:17

Rhubarb, I wouldn't give two hoots if my DH was giving someone a lift to work, if he told me about it or not.

YellowFeathers · 27/09/2006 17:17

Sorry but that sounds a bit suss to me. I'd be pretty cross if my dh was doing this and not telling me. I know its only a lift but why not mention it?

I think you friend must be concerned and maybe was trying to make it easier to tell you.
If I saw a friends dh in a car with a young pretty twenty something, I'd do exactly the same.

Northerner · 27/09/2006 17:17

If he had told you would yuo have been totally fine about it or would you have been a nit funny with him?

Maybe it's totally innocent and he didn't tell you because he didn't want any hassle?

YellowFeathers · 27/09/2006 17:18

and sorry again but I agree with all of what Hub2Dee has just said.

Pinotmum · 27/09/2006 17:18

I once tempted in an office where one of the married men offered me a lift as he lived near me. I wasn't happy to accept his offer but did and it was obvious he had something other than a lift on his mind. I made my excuses and took the train until my temp position expired. I personally wouldn't be happy if my dh did this especially if he has just started needing the car.

Rhubarb · 27/09/2006 17:19

Suggest that you all pop over to hers sometime to say hello! This should mortify him!