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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend ran over to ask me this morning why there was a pretty young lady in our car with my fella!

207 replies

Trio · 27/09/2006 16:59

Im willing to accept that maybe im being a bit daft about this, BUT, i called and asked dp and he said yes, she is called Rachel, she started work there a few weeks ago and he has been picking her and giving her a lift ever since! We only have one car and up until a few weeks ago (funnily enough) i had the car most of the time as he got a lift of a friend, but suddenly he decided he needs the car all the time - hmm i wonder why that is! AND she only lives round the corner from us - why has he failed to tell me all of this? and only told me grudgingley when i asked him about it? My friend said she looked really young and pretty! im trying not to be silly about it but i have to wonder why he hasnt said anything at all about her!

OP posts:
FillyjonktheBananaEater · 27/09/2006 17:20

hmm, would not be suspicious really, tbh. Am quite sanguine about stuff like this.

Would be well peed off about not getting the car though.

lemonaid · 27/09/2006 17:20

Am inclined to agree with hub -- he fancies her, hasn't done anything about it, wouldn't do anything about it but is doing that gallantry thing that he knows is faintly ridiculous so hasn't said anything.

Ask him to invite her and her DH/DP round for dinner.

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:21

invite her round for dinner so you can meet her!

Chandra · 27/09/2006 17:21

No, I think the lift is not a problem, it won't be either not telling about it but... if he has been taken her to and from work for several weeks, it it the "not mentioning it" which makes it wrong.

CatBert · 27/09/2006 17:22

I think, NJ - that's her point.

She obviously did trust her bloke, and now he's given her cause not to trust him.

Lying is not always just about the things that are said that are untrue, we can also lie by not saying anything at all.

In essence, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with giving someone a lift. I would not give a toss if DH was giving anyone a lift to work, regardless of gender or age. Really. I implicitly trust my DH. But I would be somewhat alarmed if I suddenly found out DH was giving anyone a lift without mentioning it for weeks on end...

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:23

Bloke gut instinct number 2: This girl's single.

Original poster
Trio · 27/09/2006 17:24

Well aparently my friend ran over to tell me as she waved thinking it was me! until she got closer and realised it wasnt, i am surprised she told me how pretty the girl was!

OP posts:
Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:25

can't wait for bloke gut instinct No 3

I'm learning

laneydaye · 27/09/2006 17:27

he should have asked you if it was ok..imho.
My fella wouldnt dare id have his balls for earings..

You've got to give him the benefit of the doubt though, men are very mysterious creatures...(sorry fellas)

laneydaye · 27/09/2006 17:28

By the way your friend sounds like a right stirrer....

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:28

Must oblige JT:

Bloke gut instinct number 3: Trio's gonna get a flash haircut and hit the spa on dh's plastic within the week.

(I am only teasing, trio, btw... just in silly mood).

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:29

blokes get away with all sorts because hey! they're men wink, wink

Chandra · 27/09/2006 17:29

It is enough to know there is someone in your car, no need to be told how wonderful she was. I would be a slightly dubious about that friendship too.

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:29

Isn't it interesting to perceive the variation in trust / tolerance / acceptable behaviour etc. etc. between husband and wife (Just an observation, not a bloke gut instinct LOL)

sleepycat · 27/09/2006 17:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:31

Bloke gut instinct number 4: Trio trusts this friend implicitly. They have been mates for YEARS.

Chandra · 27/09/2006 17:32

Nah... in this cases the messenger is always shot, sooner or later.

NatalieJane · 27/09/2006 17:33

Trio, would you have expected him to ask you if it was OK to give a MALE friend a lift to work?

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:34

hub - would you have mentioned it to your dw?

Joolstoo · 27/09/2006 17:35

NJ - you're making this up as you go along.

Trio has not said that he needed to ASK PERMISSION anywhere that I can see. My guess is she would have thought he might mention giving ANYONE a lift to work.

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 17:36

Yep, JT. Confession is good for the soul.

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 17:36

(as an aside, I haven't seen the word "fella" since I used to read Jackie in the 70's )

Original poster
Trio · 27/09/2006 17:37

GREAT idea hub2dee!!!

OP posts:
Twiglett · 27/09/2006 17:38

I'm with hub's instincts

YellowFeathers · 27/09/2006 17:39

Trio, did you ask you friend why she said that this girl was pretty?
I'd be asking her if it was me.

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