Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My friend ran over to ask me this morning why there was a pretty young lady in our car with my fella!

207 replies

Trio · 27/09/2006 16:59

Im willing to accept that maybe im being a bit daft about this, BUT, i called and asked dp and he said yes, she is called Rachel, she started work there a few weeks ago and he has been picking her and giving her a lift ever since! We only have one car and up until a few weeks ago (funnily enough) i had the car most of the time as he got a lift of a friend, but suddenly he decided he needs the car all the time - hmm i wonder why that is! AND she only lives round the corner from us - why has he failed to tell me all of this? and only told me grudgingley when i asked him about it? My friend said she looked really young and pretty! im trying not to be silly about it but i have to wonder why he hasnt said anything at all about her!

OP posts:
moondog · 27/09/2006 18:35

beefcake?????

wannaBe1974 · 27/09/2006 18:37

I'm with nj on this. If my dh gave someone a lift to work then it wouldn't bother me. Yes I might question why he hadn't told me but I wouldn't necessarily feel insecure, and that would be because if she lives just round the corner and he was giving her a lift, then there is every chance in the world that you, or someone else in the area who knows you would see them. I know some people are perhaps a little irresponsible when conducting something iliicit, but let's be fair most aren't stupid enough to conduct an affair on their own doorstep in broad daylight.

And the friend sounds like a stirrer "I bet you didn't sleep good last night, couldn't wait to bring all of that bad news to my door".

and nj haven't seen you for ages how are you?

moondog · 27/09/2006 18:38

PSML at Andrew Lloyd Webber's pearls of wisdom re infidelity.

Thank you Marti!

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:41

I don't think Andrew Lloyd webber can talk, he used to stalk my dh...

Glassofwine · 27/09/2006 18:43

If it were my dh, who I trust implicitly I would feel concerned. I don't think a bit of jelousy is wrong in a relationship, nor does dh - so I would say that it worried me that he haddn't mentioned it and I know for a fact my dh would suggest me meeting her. DH works with lots of young attractive women, often when he starts working with someone new I say - so I suppose she's young and attractive and slinks around the office and often he says 'yes, but she's not you so shut up" - it works for me

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:45

more jackie speak going on over here

moondog · 27/09/2006 18:53

How come CD???
(ALW issue..)

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:55

oh not really

We were out having dinner one night and ALW tripped over dh's chair and dropped his glasses in his lap, then the next day dh got on a train for work and ALW came and sat opposite him so he called me to tell me he was being stalked....

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:56

I also had the misfortune to be stuck opposite Tim Rice ranting on a mobile in the early 90s on the District line somewhere above ground. What a tosser. (allegedly)

(I didn't know it was him but he kept saying OH HELLO IT'S TIM RICE HERE and being all luvvy)

Blondilocks · 27/09/2006 18:56

I would be miffed if he didn't tell me as it's not really a big deal giving someone a lift. Can see where you're coming from re the not being told - it makes something innocent seem suspicious.

It does sound like your friend could be trying to stir. Plus her definition of attractive may not match up to your OH or anyone elses.

moondog · 27/09/2006 18:56

How unsettling that must have been.
A very odd man..

Now,who will be going to see the sparkling new musical 'Wicked!'

hub2dee · 27/09/2006 18:57

Absolutely pmsl at the piff.

PS - It's a Lotus Cortina. Now come and polish my tow hitch.

sallystrawberry · 27/09/2006 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:58

It was rather
He looked like a sort of hobbity troglodyte (Alw not rice)

moondog · 27/09/2006 18:59

Trio,you need to suck on an Embassy Regal,narrow your eyes,clap your hand onto dp's shoulder and say

'You're nicked sahn!!'

CountessDracula · 27/09/2006 18:59

yeah

and shout GUV a lot

lulumama · 27/09/2006 19:04

PMSL at moondog - suggest name change to FrankButcher!

FrankButcher · 27/09/2006 19:06

You're going dahn too Lulu.

sorrell · 27/09/2006 19:11

I'd die of shock if dh was up to anything with anyone, but would be v baffled and upset if I found he'd been giving a DAILY lift to anyone for MONTHS and hadn't mentioned a word of it to me. Esp if he'd made a change in his daily habits just to do this. It is very, very odd IMO. And deliberate. You don't 'forget' to mention it, you just don't.
Being concerned does not mean you are paranoid or stupid in the least.

Seashells · 27/09/2006 19:22

Agree with Hub2Dee and KellyWelly.

I'd be f'ing fuming about this, dp and I talk about everything, so withholding info of this sort would be a BIG deal in our house and I'd bloody well kill him! My biggest insecurity is dp fancying someone at work, even if nothing happened, it would rip my heart out.

NatalieJane · 27/09/2006 19:33

I am still baffled by all of you, obviously it is only me and wannaBe (hello BTW!!) who think this sort of carry on means absolutely nothing!

I do agree up to a point, it would seem strange that it hadn't come up in conversation, but it still wouldn't lead me to think that something was going on. I am sure there will have been things that I do most days that I don't mention to DH and he probably does things that he doesn't mention to me, it isn't a big deal. Far more important things for us to chat about than who he travelled to work with!

(WannaBe, I am doing very well thanks, I have 8 and a half weeks left and am counting down the seconds!! Hope everything is OK with you? I've seemed to have lost contact with most of the girls from the TTC threads now, it is a shame, but I suppose it is only how life goes! We will have to catch up somewhere away from this thread, don't want to take over it!! TC xxx)

StrawberryMoon · 27/09/2006 19:36

i used to get a lift of a guy i worked with cos he practically drve past our house, had a company car and i was very heavilly pregnant.
he drove me to work for months and never told his girlfriend cos she hated me and his life wouldnt have been worth living..i actually hated the bloke too but at 7 months pg, im not gunna turn down and offer of a lift instead of tradging through snow..i wouldnt like it, but there 'may' be more too it??

Piffle · 27/09/2006 20:00

Tease!
See I knew you were too good to be true Hub
I have some very fond memories that involve a MKI Ford Cortina... None of them involve polishing anyones tow hitch...

So Trio any news from him since he got home?

sorrell · 27/09/2006 20:07

Hmm...I think you can very easily lie by omission.I like omitting to mention that you have been giving someone a lift every day for weeks is never an accident. Of course he is deliberately withholding information. The reason for this may be fairly innocent (ie he knows his partner would not like it) but frankly, if he is doing something every day that he knows his partner would not like, then that is a deception in its own right.

SSSandy · 27/09/2006 20:17

Well if he didn't usually have the car before, invent some reason why he can't have it now and then he'll go back to hitching a lift with his colleague.

Swipe left for the next trending thread