Support thread for survivors of childhood sexual abuse PART 8

[CailinDana]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

The purpose of these threads is to allow survivors of childhood sexual abuse, their partners, friends, or parents, to talk in a safe place about what they think and feel. Nothing is off limits or taboo, just say what you want to say.

Was my mums birthday today intended to send a card but couldn't bring myself to do it nasty bitch that I am.

I really don't blame you for not sending it dotty, it's totally understandable.

Great start today had DD2 at drs she wanted me to go with her, came back and DS went totally off on one screaming and shouting attacking both of us when I tried to stop it DH's answer let them sort it he's nearly 15 stone she's under 9 stone and he's a strong bugger anyway. Ended up telling him to pack his bags prompted him to take his meds as surprise surprise DH hadn't given them to him he just says get your meds and gets sworn at I just get them out and make him one way or other bribery atm.

Really want to leave again was a wreck over it can't deal with him on top of everything else have had to cancel a meetup with other SN mums because of him I can't leave him with DD2 now. Was looking forward to a day out before the hearing date

:( dotty. Your DH didn't manage things very well did he. Is he gone out to work now?

He never does fell asleep this afternoon wiped out again atm so much for doing stuff to keep occupied for next 2 weeks yes he's out working done nowt today went right through yesterday except DS's room and bathroom intended to do today but staying away from his room whole house needs hoovering/sweeping bloody kitten has ripped a tinsel ball all over house knocked my peg bag down last night to get pegs out to play with carries his toys all over house he's mad and gorgeous x

Aww I remember our two cats being like that, they were absolutely mental. One of them used to climb to the top of the curtains in our bedroom in the middle of the night - used to freak me out completely! She did it again recently, out of the blue, and I nearly died. They're proper adult cats now and are pretty sedate although they still have their mad moments :)

Is there any point in talking to your DH about how to handle your DS a bit better?

Most of the time he's fine its his size and strength now I run rather than face him did phone MH services but no-one got back to me. Was in tears today hystericaly so probably worse than I would normally of reacted but he really went for DD2.

DH thinks its time he went to residential but not making those decisions whilst I'm not mentally stable myself, apart from the fact it has to be his decision.

Had another session yesterday walked in telling myself to hold it together but couldn't talked about the flashbacks returning and problems with sleeping again how I'm waking at the slightest noise and more comfortable sleeping downstairs again. Also trying to get me to talk about him she really pushed me to say who the flashback was about and it opened up all sorts of things its hard but she says it will aid my recovery in the long term only 13 days to go until the hearing now.

Not long to go dotty. How are you feeling about the hearing?

Don't know feelings changing constantly not talking much atm keep getting asked if I'm ok trying to focus on other things keep busy etc but its hard as I burn out if I do to much.

Up at bloody stupid o'clock, not great going atm.

Did you have dreams dotty? Or were you just not able to sleep?

Not sleeping very well at night but fell asleep in chair now got sore neck as well, kitten doesn't help he's discovered feet and is attacking them as play things no matter what time.

The kitten sounds so cute, if a bit annoying! Do you have much planned for today?

He is a cutiepie have a pic on my profile but now he's more active as well and settled in. Have done a wee bit of weeding on the borders and DD1's coming up to see me not seen her this month.

Just had a look, he's gorgeous, a bit like our cats.

Glad your DD is visiting - is she supportive?

Yes she is younger one has been here most of the week as well don't usually see her much these days.

Started writing a letter to my mum last night just for me to get the feelings down advice of counseller DC had suggested writing a letter to her but in a different context was really upset last time I saw her and told her how much I was missing her. She has been so nice to me gave me a hug before she left as well.

Hi, can any of you lovely people help over here?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/a1540296-Please-help-Im-a-total-mess-after-counselling#33580186

I've had a wee look but can't really help ATM as I'm too involved myself and sometimes trying to help others makes myself worse sounds selfish I know.

Hi all. Glad to say I'm feeling much less sicky and tired the last few days. Thank god! I seem to be approaching the much nicer "middle" bit of pregnancy :)

How is everyone?

Glad your feeling better Cailin not bad here went to see my friend today DD2's going to see Jessie J with her eldest so making arrangements for that she has a wee baby girl born weekend before I did my interview so lucky with her she was just under 5lb but 9 weeks early and she is absolutely fine.

Night times are the bugger here bloody knackered at the moment as well feel like I don't sleep.

Natural seems to have disappeared lately hope she's ok.

Decided to take sominax tonight herbal relaxants that was on hour ago still wide awake but knackered need proper fecking sleep.

I hope you managed to sleep last night dotty. How are you today?

Yes I did thanks Cailin woke a few times but fell off easier again instead of giving up and getting up.
Feel better for it got a stew on and got a chocolate cake to make for a birthday.

Mmm stew and chocolate cake :) I love stew but DH hates it so we never have it :(