Suggest some new rhymes for Katie Melua to use

[UnquietDad]

Young Katie's new song has obviously been co-written with Year 2.

How about

If you were a lollipop I'd suck you
If you were a low bridge I would duck you
If you were a teddy bear I'd tuck
you
in
to
bed.

If you were a curry I would eat you
If you were an infection I would treat you
If I was a hooligan I'd beat
you
in
the
head.

Genius!

thanks cat i think i needed virtual slapping

don't mention it harley, always happy to help

pmsl at this thread, more talent on here than in Katie's little finger

Ok ok, last one

If we met at speed dating i wouldn't chat to you
If you were a mumsnetter i wouldn't CAT you
If you started singing i'd twat
you
round
the
head

If you were here I'd hit you
If you were a banana I would split you
If you were up my bum I would shit you
Down
The
Effing
Pan

pmsl

shameless bump for a priceless thread

aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!
breaking into a sweat again

The evening crowd don't appreciate it!!!!!

nah i guess you had to be there at the time

Give the evening crowd time, they're still reading and laughing too hard to type.

Lovely and wonderful thread. I have the good fortune not to have heard this song yet. My favourite thing about Katie Melua is that on the Quick Question bit of Popworld, Simon Astell (this was a while ago) asked Amy Winehouse 'What's Katie Melua hiding?', to which she gave the answer, quick as a flash 'Mice. In her hair.'

very funny thread this !

If you were a cushion I would plump you
If you were David Tennant I would hump you
If you sing again I will thump you
again
and
again
and
again.

Best. Thread. Ever. I have literally LOL'd.

Excellent work all round but a gold star for Boco - I can't compete.

UQD, I can't agree as she reminds me too much of a young Kevin Keegan. Give me Norah any day of the week.

If you were a stud I would mate you
If you were a score I would rate you
But because you are Kate I hate you
For
Singing
This
Sh*t

You know, the bummer is that this is in Chat, and will disappear one day

If you were an orange I'd juice you
If you were a commode I would sluice you
If I were a producer I'd produce
you
and
drown
out
your
supid
whiny
voice
with
feedback.

If you were wallpaper I'd hang you
If you were ying I'd yang you
If you were hot I'd bang you
Ohhhhhhhh
Yeah
Baby

If you were a clock I would wind you
If you were a spice I would grind you
Look out kate I'm behind you
And
coming
to
shut
you
up