Suggest some new rhymes for Katie Melua to use

[UnquietDad]

Young Katie's new song has obviously been co-written with Year 2.

How about

If you were a lollipop I'd suck you
If you were a low bridge I would duck you
If you were a teddy bear I'd tuck
you
in
to
bed.

If you were a curry I would eat you
If you were an infection I would treat you
If I was a hooligan I'd beat
you
in
the
head.

Sorry I appear to have got a bit over excited .
Damn this is fun!

beware - it gets manic

if you were a cig i would smoke you
if you were here i would poke you
and then i think i might choke
you
till
you're
face
is
blue

If you were porridge I'd dollop you
If you were a rabbit I'd lollop you
If you don't stop singing I'll wallop you
upside
your
head

arrrrrgh
help!

if you were pants i'd wear you
if you were chocolate i wouldn't share you
if you were nasty i'd scare you
with my
big witchy
face

Just thread this through with DH (both sniggering all the way through). He says 'there are some people there who NEED to step away from the computer'

Boco - superb effort m'dear

if you were a tooth i'd drill you
if you were beans i'd spill you
if you were lord voldermort i'd kill you
with my big
pointy
wand

talcy you're on a roll...

....just got in from work...been rolling them round my head!!!

must stop

if you were michael jackson i'd thrill you
if you were grain I'd mill you
if you were bread I'd grill you
til
you
were
toast

if you were a cat i'd tickle you ears
if you were a plant i'd cut you with my shears
if you make were a song i'd cover my ears
so i didn't
have to
hear you
again

tis funny

must go now!!

Oh, this is by far the best thread since the Linda is a Librarian one... pleae keep them coming, laughing my face off!!

if you were pizza i would munch you
if you were ice i would crunch you
if you pissed me off i would punch
you
right
on
your
bumchin

Didn't realise I would create a monster here!!

Message withdrawn

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if you were boco i'd shake your hand
if you were a bank i'd steal a few grand
if you were on a beach i'd bury you in the sand
with my shiny
red plastic
spade

If you were potato I would mash you
If you were a website I would crash you
If you were a gangster I would slash you
to
produce
a
chelsea
smile

if you were a bullock I'd castrate you
if you were a singer I would not rate you
if you were my friend I would hate you
and
plan
your
songwriting
demise

BBBee,,,,,you are scary!!!![

If you were a tree I would log you
If you were a dog I would muzzle you
If I had PMT and saw you Id kick
you
in
the
fanjo

If you were on benefits I'd shop you,
If you were Pete Docherty I'd drop you,
If you try to sing again I'll stop you,
Before you
ruin
your
career.

If you were Mike Batt I'd defend you
If you were a Womble I'd remember you
If you wore a furry suit
And
Sang
Wombling
Merry Christmas

One for the Popmaster fans there (said I couldn't compete and I was right).

If you were glass I'd break you
If you were a cake, I's make you
If you were a Melua CD, I'd take you
To
the
charity
shop