Suggest some new rhymes for Katie Melua to use

[UnquietDad]

Young Katie's new song has obviously been co-written with Year 2.

How about

If you were a lollipop I'd suck you
If you were a low bridge I would duck you
If you were a teddy bear I'd tuck
you
in
to
bed.

If you were a curry I would eat you
If you were an infection I would treat you
If I was a hooligan I'd beat
you
in
the
head.

if you were a spot i would squeeze ye
if you were johnny depp i'd tease ye
if you were my jeans i'd crease ye
then iron you
with my
iron

If you were trapped wind i'd fart you
If you were a fringe i'd part you
If you were found guilty i'd cart
you
off
to
jail
{for crimes against music}

If you were a racing car i'd flag you
If you were a munro i'd bag you
If you were a coal-sack i'd drag you
down to the cellar
and padlock the door.

if you were glass i would smash you
if you were a hotel room i would trash you
if you were in front of me i would bash you
right
on
the
nose

If you were a potato i'd peel you
if you were an envelope i'd seal you
If you were an old trout i'd reel you
In and fry you in a pan

If you were a carnival freak i'd parade you
If i was your manager i'd downgrade you
If you started to sing i'd persuade
you
not
to
please.

damn, you all to skilled in creative writing....took ages to think mine up....you'all just too clever

If you were a pipe I'd lag you
If you were a prefect I'd fag you
If you sing again I'll gag you
til
you
turned
blue

if you were bread i would toast you
if you were a chicken i would roast you
if you were a letter i would post
you
far
far
away

somebody stop me please

if ye were potato i'd bake ye
if ye were a toe i'd break ye
if ye were a million pounds i take ye
and spend it all
on
shoes

If you didn't tidy up I'd nag you
If you were It i'd tag you
But i'd like to state i'd never shag you
even
though
it
rhymes.

ROFL....at harleyd

rofpmsl

im feeling quite manic

i'm a bit worried about boco

if you were cream i would whip you
if you were a hot guy i would strip you
if you were my dc i would clip you
round
the
ear

actually I'm worried about you too harley

i think you have melua-itis

aaarrrrggggghhhhhhhh

Are you cat? Me too, i don't know how to stop.

tis genius

If you were a pedestrianised precinct i'd pave you
If you were a blizzard i'd brave you
If you were an endangered species i'd....
well
actually
no,
i'd
probably
just
leave
you
to
natures
cruel
hand

im pmsl
hysterically
ds1 has just told me to step way from the computer

there. did that help?

seems a shame to stop your creative juices in full flow though...

if you were a racket i would swing you
if you were a ball i would fling you
if i was a wasp i would sting you
on
the
bum