Suggest some new rhymes for Katie Melua to use

[UnquietDad]

Young Katie's new song has obviously been co-written with Year 2.

How about

If you were a lollipop I'd suck you
If you were a low bridge I would duck you
If you were a teddy bear I'd tuck
you
in
to
bed.

If you were a curry I would eat you
If you were an infection I would treat you
If I was a hooligan I'd beat
you
in
the
head.

lol at the rabbit in the drawer

Iklboo are you admitting some sexual feelings for katie there? Using her as a vibrator, that one was unexpected.

Nah - just being naughty and seeing what I could get away with with. I really wouldn't want her as a vibrator.......now.....David Tennant as my Rampant Rabbit would be another thing all together

If you were cheddar i'd grate you
If you were dry skin i'd exfoliate you
If you keep singing i'll admit i hate
you
as
much
as
Norah Jones
and
James
Blunt
and all the other
insipid
and twee
musicians
around.

If you were a sausage I would batter you
If you were a spin-doc I would flatter you
If you were a mirror I would shatter you
ignoring
7 years
back luck

if you sang well I would admire you
if you were a plug I would wire you
if I were your boss I would fire you
from
a
cannon

if you were a balloon i would pop you
if you were going to jump off a bridge i wouldnt stop you
if you were a hot potato i would drop
you
from
a
great
height

If you could sing Id's clap you
But as you can't I'll trap you
and with mu hand I'll slap you
as
hard
as
I can

she is truly appalling

her and that blardy awful bedingfield bint with her "hyper-bowl"

If you were a ball i would kick you
if you were a nose I would pick you
if you were a fool i would trick you

into
thinking
you
can
sing

if you were a pie i would bake you
if you were a vampire i would stake you
if you were a rat i would take you
down
to
the
harbour
and
drown
you

If you were shriveled i'd re-hydrate you
If you were a badger i'd bate you
If i was a music reviewer i'd slate
you
in
the
national
press

If you were wood i would chop you
If you were an egg i would crack you
if you were a cow I would milk you until you ran out.

By DS1(5) and DS2 (4)

LOL fab thread

If you were carpet i'd lay you
If you were an edge i'd fray you
If you were a dog i'd spay you
to
prevent
you
from
reproducing

I can't stop!

Lol! Great work from the ChippyMinton boys!

boco you are out of control, get a grip

actually don't, you are amusing me!

If you were a wasp i'd swipe you
If you were a biscuit i'd bite you
If you were a bee i'd chase you away down the garden

OK, that is DD(3)'s contribution. ROFL Future Poet Laureate?

if you were a flower i would pick you
if you were a lolly i would lick you
if you were a bucket i would kick
you
down
the
street

Her cd was on repeat in the delivery room when I was in labour. 'Its only pain' - easy for you to say Katie! Needless to say, can't bear to listen to her now (wasn't overly keen before tbh).

chippy you have very talented offspring

if you were an apple I'd bob you
if you were any good I'd mob you
if you were a tennis ball I'd lob you
far
far
away

p
m
s
l

If you were a dog I'd pat you
If you were milk I'd shake you
If you were a turd I'd pass you
and
flush
you
to
oblivion

If you were a phone i'd slam you
If you were a pig i'd ham you
If i had your email i'd spam you
until you got
the message to
shut up.

(that's all my own work)