a good slapping!!!!

[bea]

noooo! not children!!! we don't want to stir up that hornets nest do we!!!

no i mean hands up if you feel those Sheer Blonde Girls "alex and Brit" need a good slapping! i have never been so irritated by an advert and find them incredibley frightening!... do people like this really exist?... i fear they have been to sulky smoulder school to perfect their stares to the camera!!!

or horrors of horrors.... does it really mean i yearn for 'sheer blonde' hair! and am just jealous!

I don't think so!!!

who else do you think deserves a good slapping!!!???

I'm not making excuses for Nigella or anyone but every oven is different, not all the thermostats or whatever are set correctly. With mine I always have to add 10 minutes to Nigella's cake recipes and 15 or so to recommended roasting times. And then if my cake tins are bigger or smaller I have to guesstimate the timing up or down. That's why my recipe books have post-it notes or pencil scribblings all over them.
Practise makes perfect, but it is annoying when the ingredients are expensive and the results rubbish!

Tigermoth, yup, thats the one. I was there 86-89.

Fionn, no offence! She was a friend many aeons ago. She was thin then. (not that is why she was a friend then and not now )

She was pretentious then, but so was I so it didn't matter

Enid, in that case I missed you by a few years

Ditto Paul McCartney (I think he looks like a hamster).

Graham Norton

John Prescott

AA Gill (although admittedly he does make me laugh sometimes)

Rosie and Jim

Barney is not so bad but it is the other dinasour he has with him with a yellow 'blankie' that I just want to throttle it with!

Anyone who pronouces 'bath' as 'baff', 'think' as 'fink' - 'saff' London is that right?

Must be loads more but got to go and get dinner ready ...

No! Not John Prescott! Love him, especially after that public thumping of that mullet head!

Are all people who live in the country in small villages completely obsessed with trivia and bitching about each other? Or is it just the bored sad mums at the particular nursery my child attends? (rhetorical question really) Do these people have nothing better to do? Today in particular, I was bitched about, behind my back, by a complete cow of a woman at nursery although I hadn't done what she accused me of. When I sweetly confronted her (having been told about it) she backed down, big time but IT WAS SO TRIVIAL!!! However, it made me very very angry and she deserves a slap for sure. So cowface, this is for you... Whew, feel better now

Yes mummysangry, people in small country villages are obsessed with bitching and trivia. They are in mine anyway. But its no worse than the trivia and bitching I got used to when living in West London.

Rise above it! Don't let it rile you! Be strong!

No Eulalia, not AA Gill - he is possibly one of the sexiest men alive!!!! He loves clothes shopping (Jeremy Clarkson says he does anyway, as they've just come back from New York together and apparently he spent the whole time trying things on), dresses impeccably, and is incredibly funny. He could almost be an honorary girl! Am sure with these attributes he must be gay and that The Blonde and his children are simply decoys. Either way, I think he should be spared a beating.

oh, ks i so totally agree with you! Estate agents are truly the scum of the earth.

The Fat Controller for being so smug and sanctimonious.

Mummysangry you did sooo right to sweetly confront the cause of your angst. Hope you're beginning to unwind now.

All the xxxxxx commuters who drive to my road and park their cars for the day before catching the train into town.... they've turned our quiet little cul-de-sac into a jam packed freeway, the kids can't play outside as they drive their xxxxxx TVR's and Z3's like lunatics ...and if I use the car I return home to find I can't park (particularly annoying when I have a boot full of shopping).
Ulrika Johnson for being a right little madam on both occasions that I had the mispleasure of having to have anything to do with her - and for thinking that anybody gives a xxxx about her tawdry love life.
Definitely not AA Gill - who is hilarious. Yes, his restaurant reviews can be a tad arrogant, but having read his book "AA Gill is Away" have to say I have a very different view of him. Very funny but also some of the most thought provoking, insightful articles I've ever read.
Pamina, completely agree about that Liz woman - dull, dull, dull. Surely there are writers out there who actually have something to say? It's like when they had Meg "I married the bloke from Oasis" whatever her name is doing a column - like I really care who she went out and got mashed with. Come to think of it, she can have a slap too.
A slap is too good for Barney - and while I'm at it I'll take a shot at all the loathesome kids with him. Where do they get those freaks?
God, and I thought I'd had quite a good day. Where does all this hate come from? Memo to self: increase Prozac intake to maximum and make appointment to see therapist asap.

You can all come and give me a good slapping, if you like! I've just moved abroad and the terible conditions so many of the local people live in make me ashamed that I ever whinged about Parent & Baby spaces being occupied or the supermarket not stocking my my particular favourites.

And yet, even so, I'm still moaning on about how my internet connection is rubbish here and that the shops don't have proper marmite, when there are four-year-olds almost outside my door working for a living and 400 women a week die in childbirth. Maybe I'd better get Lennox Lewis to give me a slap and that would rearrange my sense of priorities and stop me complaining.

Where are you living SueDonim ?

SueDonim. Glad you're back! You're right about priorities: ranted here and then read the thread about the possible abuse and thought how trivial my concerns were...

SueDonim, good to hear from you, and thanks for the wake-up call, you're right to remind us that there is more to life than whingeing because your son gave you conjunctivitis (current hot topic at home). Give us a longer bulletin when you can!

suedonim, thanks for bringing me back to earth with a bump. Don't hold back on your observations about the local mothers and children. I for one need to be reminded.

Glad you're up and running again - hope you get your internet connection sorted out.

ks you're so right. I heard on Radio 4 yesterday that estate agents are being investigated for the huge fees they charge, especially since the housing boom. Apparently they are abusing the level of charges to the extent that the government is targetting them like it did other financial services in recent years. Not enough regulations apparently!

Just had a moan about estate agents on another thread, they sold me a failing endowment policy 13 years ago and I am very bitter!

Eamonn Dunphy for generally existing (Irish mumsnetters may agree!!)

Barney (dd too young for him yet but he will have to be killed off before she comes of age)

Sian (the weather girl for having such a syrupy sickly sweet voice)

Have to say I like Carol Smillie and Anna Ryder Richardson - have no idea who India Knight is but must have a read before deciding whether she needs a slap or not

Tara Palmer Tompkinson and special thump reserved for Lady Victoria Heavy
Thats it for the moment!!!

jasper, did you know the small oriental cbeebies woman who sings so badly used to be...Po, on the tellytubbies! where she was a much better performer, I think

pamina, thought you meant Eammon Holmes then! while we're at it, maybe he can have a quick slap too