I seem to have had an accident

[FanjoFiasco]

oh god. I have injured my fanjo. I am not going to ring NHS direct - I can't! Help!

coco, that could get a bit "old woman who swallowed a fly"-like.

'sliced like a cucumber' [faints]

Love eggs coco? Not a chance. They are agony. IME you can't keep them there for more than 2 seconds without getting pinched. The only place they could have got stuck was in the plaster on the side of the room when I threw them as far away as possible!

eww, splinters !!

err, this is a wind-up isn't it ?

please tell me it is

ROFL.

"he was planning on making a boat out of them" .

Do you have a splinter?

Off to A&E you need to go with this problem my dear. They've seen it all before.

did you use a mooncup while with a coil???

frozen cucumbers have been known to expand with heat as 2 ladies found out much to their shock

go to bed now or you'll be late for school tomorrow

how the hell did you come up with that soultion
why didn't you use a carrot ffs?

So it was a bundle of lolly sticks, or did he make a penis splint?

Should have used Waitrose. Serves you right,

OMG.
Splinters.

can he have a looksy and pull out with tweezers?

how many lollies had he eaten? you'd need loads of sticks to make a reasonably sized dildo substitute?

Splinters!!

Oh dear . Lolly sticks

It's not remotely funny.

Snort at Asda own brand

you should of gone to tesco,s a better brand of stick there

hahahah penis splint, brilliant.

lollypopstick and a hair bobble

Would a frozen cucumber help?

Try THIS??

Penis splint!!!!

is that true about frozen cucumbers?

my dear you absolutely should have used a carrott

You need to go to casualty and get it out, before you get an infected wound in there. Please go now - they will be totally professional with you.