I seem to have had an accident

[FanjoFiasco]

oh god. I have injured my fanjo. I am not going to ring NHS direct - I can't! Help!

@ planning to make a boat..

did you retrieve the hair bobble??.. is it safely on the bobble plate now ?

splinters.. magnesium sulphate (sP) ??

surely you would think of it being a bit scrathy?

A splint? no I shall sugest that for next time, but there is currently a piece of wood lodged in my vagina. I dont have any tweezers, anyone know of a late night shop in Bristol that sells tweezers?

Why would you need to freeze cucumbers? They don't have any problems staying erect as far as I'm aware.

You can't drive with a lolly stick lodged in your private parts.

I expect Tesco stays open all night.

Sorry OP, cross posts. Maybe you should go and get checked out at a&e, this might be one of those things that are more important than being embarassed.

you don't have tweezers?

Isn't it safer to suck a splinter out? [innocent]

I am pretty sure this is a piss take, but if it is real then get to A and E. They have seen worse.

You wouldn't get this with Waitrose ones! Tut tut.

Seriously, please tell me this is a windup so I can uncross my legs!

He is off to find a drinking straw and a torch to make a telescope to have a look for the splint...

How is anyone going to see to use tweezers anyway?

cocolepew

Oh No! If they broke you won't be able to get the answers to the jokes written on them.

hes a bit of an inventor then!?

your dh is very handy.. but.. are you sure you need his diy near your nethers again??

miners hat maybe??

Why didn't you use a lolly stick with an actual lolly on it!

No splinters, and when finished he could have added the new stick to his collection and made his boat quicker.

Please make sure he thrown the sticks away and doesn't make a boat out of them stil

Your DH needs a headtorch.

do you have one of these handy?

We will never find out what's black & white, & red all over now!

A straw and a torch? That's an excellent idea.

My BIL works as a registrar in A&E nicky, surely they would tell him. We have the same very unusual surname.

DH says he definetly can't find tweezers and has had 7 beers (I had wine too hence why the sticks seemed like fun) so he can't drive to tesco to get tweezers. He says do you think chopsticks would work? He has found a head lamp he got from FIL one year.

Definitely A&E.

I'm trying to imagine how much wine I'd have to have to allow something that splinters to be introduced in that area.....

The empty wine bottle would have been a better choice!

Up periscope!

PMSL at not finding out punchline.