I seem to have had an accident

[FanjoFiasco]

oh god. I have injured my fanjo. I am not going to ring NHS direct - I can't! Help!

nurture the healing process...natural products and all that? Hey if its good enough for thrush...

Is it battery driven?

[snort]

what did you do - did you break the skin- is it internal? This could be quite serious - don't mean to alarm you...

Oh God did his penis snap off?

a and e with you

what the heck did you stick up there? scissors?

did you hit a wall too hard?

Oh my lord! 'Something's stuck?' . Has DH still got everything that he should?

Ooooh x-posts

still not enough though, I must know wat item it is that you have managed to lodge where the sun doesn't shine.

Sex toy?
Household utensil?

is it a carrott?

has been known you know

Tell us...

What happened??!!

Love eggs, for sure.

oh dear stuck. ow. ow.

C'mon!

Is there something up there that needs removal? If so, perhaps you could try to relax on the bed, whilst your dp goes looking for it.

But if it won't come out, or the pain carries on, please do go to casualty - rest assured the staff there have seen far more embarrassing things.

Like the chap who heard you could get ... ahem... sexual satisfaction from a vacuum cleaner. He had one of those goblin cylinder vacuums, and unfortunately didn't get the full instructions for this particular usage - and instead of using the hose end to satisfy himself, he inserted himself in the end with the fan - and his pride and joy was sliced like a cucumber. We reconstructed just enough for him to wee through.

If you bear down whatever it is should pop right out.

so if you dont want to shove anything else up .what did you put up there in the first place that has caused your injuries ?

Candle

Cucumber

Spatula

Bottle

uummm racks brains

If it was a carrot do you have any pets you could send up too retrieve it?

If it is a carrot just do not claim in A+E that you accidently fell on it whilst preparing dinner in the nude [double snort]

Oh this reminds me of the thread where a deoderant can lid was stuck in someones parts.

DH has been suffereing erectile dysfunction - I have been trying to be sympathetic but he refuses to see the GP and so it is all rather frustrating. Tonight we were about to do the deed and he lost it, I was very dissapointed, I had a long day in the office, have had a few glasses of wine and this was the release I wanted.

Beside his bed he has a pile of wooden lolly sticks, he was planning on making a boat out of them. Anyway he bunched them together and secured them with my hair bobble and started to insert the make shift dildo. Problem was he had purchased ASDAs own brand and so the stick shattered and now I fear some if it is embedded in my fanjo. I suppose we should have used a condom but I wasn't expecting to be impregnanted with a ASDA price lolly stick...

A carrot?? That made me spray my yoghurt all over the pc. Sorry!!!

ahhh a stuck item.. we need to know what it is.. did you get any of it out? did something break apart.. or is it the whole thing? .. is it a food item or something that may rot? ..

Oh no, this isn't another "The hamster was there when I looked a minute ago, I think I may've 'eaten' it..." thread, is it?