Something you can say during sex, and also at the dinner table

[Hushabyelullaby]

Don't talk with your mouth full
You've got something on your chin

anyone got any other suggestions

It was ok, but I've definitely had better.

Pass the meat please.

Oh, never mind, I'm sure it won't stain.

This has got hairs all over it.

It's impossible to eat Nutella neatly, isn't it?

Can I have some more please?

This is missing something.

Budge up, we all need more room.

Elbows in!

This is delightful, we should do this every Sunday.

Where on earth did you buy THAT from?

Your mum likes this too.

Virtually anything Nigella's ever said, whilst smouldering direct to camera...

there's a crack in your ceiling!

Would you prefer breast or leg?

No double dipping

"The next door neighbours will be joining us tonight"

PutThatPomBearBack,

Fun times round at yours, then?

Elbows off the table

"Stop faffing about and just put it in your mouth!"

Was that it?

Don't just stare at it, eat it! ( for all you American psycho fans)

Don't put your fingers in it

Large one for me

don't spit that out dear

You've got a lovely rise on that

It's polite not to leave until everyone has finished.

I hope it's better than it looks!

Shall we pour some brandy on it and set fire to it?

Please may I get down?

"Do you want it single, double, or whipped?"

I'm stuffed.

I'm crying with laughter at these