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Original poster

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?

365 replies

SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 11:55

I mean at least she won't get a duplicate and it make a change from 'best teacher' mugs?!

Asked ds what she liked - gardening apparently. DS's class is kestrel class so aha I thought. A little kestrel ornament for the garden. Except it is not little. No no. It is a gigantic genetically modified kestrel. Maybe she can put it at the bottom of the garden so it looks smaller?!

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
thelonelyhamster · 04/07/2017 19:23

The thread that keeps on giving...

Greenifer That blog post is seriously the funniest thing I've read in a long time. It's exactly what I would probably do under similar circumstances... not allowed to buy towels, FINE, I'm buying a 5ft metal chicken!

gincamelbak Top marks for giant robot!

TheEmmaDilemma · 04/07/2017 19:43

@Greenifer That along with this is one of the funniest things I've read recently. I would so buy a 5ft chicken.

hotwater · 04/07/2017 20:13

I am a little bit in love with Wind Fucker.

TheLegendOfBeans · 04/07/2017 20:14

Oh my god this is all shades of wonderful

ZebraOwl · 04/07/2017 20:18

We have a Sinister Owl at Brownies. Sinister Owl guards the Brownie Cupboard. Our Wise Owl who sits on the toadstool is cute & fluffy. And doesn't terrify the children.

Kenneth ye the Windfucker
Kestrel (of Doom) is AMAZING. I'm a Brownie Leader & the things that mean most are cards/pictures etc. Assorted medical issues mean that alcohol/chocolate/toiletries are not - to varying degrees - Zebra-friendly gifts. A big metal kestrel would be amazing. In my case I'd probably seek permission from the Parish Priest to put it in and randomly move it around the church garden. He was very accommodating about us growing sunflowers, so...

Please post pictures of Doom!Kestrel in all his finery before Formal Presentation, won't you?

To have bought ds's teacher a giant kestrel?
Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 20:47

I like sinister owl of authority.

Kestrel of Doom is sat on the windowsill overseeing the garden. It's a bit of a shock every time I go in the kitchen and he's there, judging me.
He does pale in comparison to the giant chicken though.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 04/07/2017 20:48

greenifer that has right cheered me up! Grin

TheMadGardener · 04/07/2017 20:53

If I'd had Kestrel of Doom as a teacher gift I would have thought it was hilarious!

The one thing I dreaded as teacher gifts was scented candles as they make me sneeze, so I would quickly rewrap them and pass them on to my sister, who loves them.

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 21:03

That looks exactly the right size but is a hair clip and KoD doesn't have any hair, or feathers in fact... maybe I could take it off the hair clip and afix it by other means. It definitely looks a KoD sized hat.

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 04/07/2017 21:13

Great gift OP! And brilliant thread.

Flowers to the windfucker finder poster. The wikipedia page says a regional synonym is "fuckwind".

Eg "shut up with your Fuckwind" to MIL.

mackerella · 04/07/2017 21:14

Greenifer, that blog has made me howl - now I really want to leave a 5ft chicken outside our front door and see what DH would make of it. "Knock knock, motherfucker!"

EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 04/07/2017 21:15

I have a Kestrel class...

Original poster
SilverLining17 · 04/07/2017 21:16

Esme Shock

OP posts:
EsmeMargaretNoteSpelling · 04/07/2017 21:18

But having read a bit more I don't think I'm your teacher as I have a completely new class next year.
Would have LOVED the Kestrel though!😁

Eolian · 04/07/2017 21:19

Whoa - Esme, you may be about to be the lucky recipient of a massive windfucker kestrel! I was going to post earlier "Wow - what if the OP's ds' teacher is an MNer...!". Please let it be true (although it would rather spoil the surprise of the present)!

Eolian · 04/07/2017 21:20

Aww - cross-posted. Any more Kestrel class teachers on MN?

Popfan · 04/07/2017 21:27

I am a teacher. I so want a kestrel....

EduCated · 04/07/2017 21:34

It all got a bit big and I couldn't stop

I've just done a very classy snort at that! How the fuck did you get that big?! Brilliant.

MrsKCastle · 04/07/2017 21:40

Awww, I clicked on the link desperately hoping that you would turn out to be a parent from my class. I don't have Kestrel class though. Sad

I want a KoD!

TrickyLicky · 04/07/2017 21:44

OMG, creased Grin. Trying desperately to stifle my giggles so as not to wake the baby. I'm making the bed shake. DP who needs to be up for work at 5 doesn't think it's as hilarious.

Greenifer · 04/07/2017 23:47

So glad some of you share my love for that blog post! I read it all the time if I need cheering up because it makes me weep with laughter!

MidniteScribbler · 05/07/2017 00:32

I'd love it. We have Norbert the Garden Ornament Dragon who watches over our class. The kids adore him, and I do in fact often use the phrase 'you are making Norbert sad' and they stop what they are doing lol.

KC225 · 05/07/2017 01:40

I love it

MadMags · 05/07/2017 11:04

It all got a bit big and I couldn't stop

I can just imagine your panic as Cuddly Robot began to grow, and grow, and grow...

Esme didn't OP say her other dc has Kestrel teacher next year? So a totally different class...