If MN had its own TV channel...

[FairNotFair]

What the world needs is more MN, delivered to a wider audience. I have therefore whilst stuck in a traffic jam put together the basis of an idea for MNTV. Here are the totally original programmes I've come up with so far:

Cuntdown – fun wordgame in which contestants try and create profanities from a random selection of letters
Meal or No Meal – cookery programme focusing on the versatility and endless possibilities presented by the MN Chicken
Dynasty 2017 – updated drama with Justine as Alexis and Olivia as Krystle. Or vice versa. It doesn’t really matter.
Call the Midwife – fly-on-the-wall documentary/gameshow in which random women POAS and viewers phone a premium-rate number to vote on whether they can see a faint line…
Who Do You Think You Are? – televised outrage followed by flouncing
Are You Being Served? - harrowing real-life tales of funny looks from hapless retail assistants who are subsequently reported to management

I think there is definitely a market for such delights . Any more suggestions before I pitch it to MNHQ?

Mission: Impossible

A team of MN secret agents are asked to advise on a seemingly simple issue but every suggestion/idea is met with a list of reasons why it cannot possibly be considered. Most episodes will feature weddings on a budget or family celebrations. There will be great tension as we wait to see whether the team can actually find a somewhere in walking distance of a tube station with extensive gardens, 5 star vegan catering and a child care for less than £2.50 per head or whether the presenter will flounce off.

The Walking Dead

MNers who have been kept awake all night by loud drunken neighbours snap and go on a 6am rampage in which said neighbours and all posters who suggested they are unreasonable for complaining end up in lots of pain.

Poldarked on : Aidan Turner puts out his washing at night

Sons of Anarchy

Discussion show where a panel tries their best to answer that old question: Are little girls really easier to raise than little boys?

Bad Girls

Discussion show where a panel tries their best to answer that old question: Are teenage boys really easier to raise than teenage girls?

Supermarket Shriek

Where someone t-rexes around the supermarket being shrieked at by Sharon

Supermarket Sweeeeet!
A game where three women are given a shopping list which was found in a trolley. They have to decipher the list, find the items and then attempt to guess what sort of person originally had the list. The original list owner then comes on to see if they guessed correctly.

How Clean is Your Arse? Episode 1: Cath showers once a week and feels this is enough, but what do MNers think about it? Features scenes of a full flannel wash at the sink.

Race against the clock: who can call 101 first
Baby or no baby: 2ww and poas live results!

this is one of the best threads ever

Beat the Teacher. Pugilistic game show. 'Don't Touch My Child' bonus round.

The DH Whisperer

Cesar Millan teaches frazzled women tricks to keep naughty DH's obedient and teaches them how to become pack leader.

I think Poldarked on is my favourite!

Poldarked on

Marry, Shag, Avoid or LTB
A unique look at Relationships through the eyes of Mumsnetters.

The Weakest Link ~ Mumsnet
Style
Breaking through the Silver Circle of the School Yard Cliche and how to spot a 'Wendy' with these ten top tips

Stash in the Attic

A gripping reality TV show where parents have to avoid children (who weren't interested in the lovingly home cooked meal that was made for them but are whining they are very hungry) and stealthily make their way into the attic without being seen to secretly snack on hidden luxuries they don't want to share with their kids.

Blind Playdate

contestants choose a family to spend an August afternoon in a sweltering warehouse with, based on answers to their questions.

will it be number 1 - a shrieky lady with a weird laugh and vegan shoes, who doesn't believe in stifling children by restricting their impulses and is still breastfeeding her 8 year old?

or number 2, who will 'pop outside' for a cigarette for ten minutes every twenty minutes leaving you to wrangle her four over-excited under 10s?

or should they pick family number 3, who all have worms?

Doctor Woo
Paranormal medical complaints including mystery rashes and that weird thing that your left eye does when you're tired.

Hi folks,

Thanks so much for the classics nominations.

We're sending this over to the hall of fame now!

Question time.

Several people from MNHQ and NMs have to defend their stance on swearing, glittery tickers, edit buttons and name changing policy. Audience will be carefully weighted to include Ms Potty Mouth and Ms Prim and Proper, equal numbers of vipers and huns, PTA parents and star of the week conspiracy theorists...

Everything I would've mentioned has already I am loving this thread, we definitely need MNTV!!

I just popped back to this thread to find it's moved to Classics! I'm so proud

And a Sporno channel sponsored by Footner (which I've just tried for the first time, and now my feet look as though they have leprosy)

Marks n Sparks Avengers
MNetters try on every new unflattering M&S outfit and wittily critique the devastating shortcomings of design, fabric, fit and colour.

TheOnlyWayIsQuietSex when the kids are in the next room
MaidInChelsea A fictional rich MNetter's woes at finding a cleaner
GeordieCher Stars in your eyes with mums from the North East
Any(Sex)DreamWillDo Donald Trump, anyone?

ComeWineWithMe