If MN had its own TV channel...

[FairNotFair]

What the world needs is more MN, delivered to a wider audience. I have therefore whilst stuck in a traffic jam put together the basis of an idea for MNTV. Here are the totally original programmes I've come up with so far:

Cuntdown – fun wordgame in which contestants try and create profanities from a random selection of letters
Meal or No Meal – cookery programme focusing on the versatility and endless possibilities presented by the MN Chicken
Dynasty 2017 – updated drama with Justine as Alexis and Olivia as Krystle. Or vice versa. It doesn’t really matter.
Call the Midwife – fly-on-the-wall documentary/gameshow in which random women POAS and viewers phone a premium-rate number to vote on whether they can see a faint line…
Who Do You Think You Are? – televised outrage followed by flouncing
Are You Being Served? - harrowing real-life tales of funny looks from hapless retail assistants who are subsequently reported to management

I think there is definitely a market for such delights . Any more suggestions before I pitch it to MNHQ?

MN's Cowboy Builders exclusively featuring tradesmen who have the audacity to take an unauthorised dump in an MNer's toilet, extra coverage given to those who leave skiddies or piss on the seat.

Prisoner cell block mn. Where all the banned posters can be viewed.

Tipping Point
Interfering Mil comes to stay, she is given secret tasks (Big brother style) such as re-arranging all the bedrooms, moving all the lounge furniture, and altering the garden.
There will also be plenty of just to ensure everything runs smoothly

On mumsnet radio "Women's Hour" followed by "Men's 23 Hours"

Songs of Praise
Bringing you verses 2 to 130 of The Wheels on the Bus while you wait and encourage your 3year old to please please please do a poo in the potty

Four In a Bed

MNers debate cosleeping.

Mumsnets Got Talent

Proudly sponsored (and judged) by the lovely folk at AIBU?

@red shoe

Loofah: Idris Elba encounters scrubbers. Or spiders, if you've been here as long as me. ;-)

Grammar police, Camera, Action!

MNers vie to find the most grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in heartfelt OPs. Broadcast at 2.30am in order to help insomniacs go back to sleep.

Jeremy Corbyn Superstar! A 1970s musical including the hit song 'I don't know how to love him' sung by a (small) choir of MN Tory voters.

Dungeons & Dragons - the cameras go behind the scenes at MNHQ

Fair what are you thinking of insulting the overlords?

Which leads me onto The Mumsnet Headmaster

A classic remake of the 90s kids TV show where we see a disgruntled headmaster dealing with cases of parents against their PFBs.

changing rooms

can you spot which swimmer in the ladies changing room actually has a cock? bonus points for anyone who can prove that actually this is just a tall lady with a lot of pubes.

Wife Swaps Weakest link competitively tired partners swap lives with each other. Shit then happens.

Keeping up with the Car-dashians
Competitive school runs

Who Wants to be a MIL-lionaire?
Question 1
On your son's wedding day do you:
A) turn up wearing a floor length cream dress
B) Cry noisily during the vows
C) Get rip roaring drunk and throw up over the cake
D) have a spa day

Supplies Supplies

contestants race round a giant Tesco Extra against the clock, trying to find items on a list of stationery and sports kit required for school next week. bonus round with points for shouting 'HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THIS LETTER?' louder than everyone else.

trolley boaks

can you judge someone else's shopping and sniff out the items that are guaranteed to have the family puking into the bath all night?

whose line is it anyway?

can you hang your washing out on next door's whirly without being spotted?

it ain't half hot mum

try and entertain increasingly arsey toddlers in a twenty mile traffic jam in boiling August on a bank holiday monday.

House Swap Special: Mexico

Poldarked on : Aidan Turner puts out his washing at night
Top Floor Gear : Neighbour upstairs is a drug dealer, I'm sure of it
Line of doodie : Poo troll strikes in the USA (yep I have seen Wreck it Ralph too often)
Unbreakable Kimmy Shit : Poo troll again
Black mirror : I really need help from Good Housekeeping
Strictly Mum Dancing : MNetters rather than slebs go on the J word (VTs of babies compulsory, Phone hands are unacceptable)
The Crown : saga over who constitutes MN Royalty
The Fall : Pundits reminisce when baby fell off bed/couch/stairs etc
Cold Feet : not so 'D'H keeps nicking the duvet
Fleabag : Cat owners advise on front line response
Fresh Meat : Sitcom over office workers hogging the communal fridge
Midsummer Murders : MNetters snap in the heat
Car Share : Evicting annoying coworker from the front seat
River (Of Sweetcorn) : Detectives follow the stream to work out who dunnit (Very short show let's be honest)
The Cube (Of Poo): Philip Schofield and another shit shower of a show
Around the world in 80 gardens : Starting off with Korean old lady
Mr Rough and Tumble : Niche show with Justin Fletcher (post watershed)
Oranges are not the only fruit Peter Andre makes key lime pie