If MN had its own TV channel...

[FairNotFair]

What the world needs is more MN, delivered to a wider audience. I have therefore whilst stuck in a traffic jam put together the basis of an idea for MNTV. Here are the totally original programmes I've come up with so far:

Cuntdown – fun wordgame in which contestants try and create profanities from a random selection of letters
Meal or No Meal – cookery programme focusing on the versatility and endless possibilities presented by the MN Chicken
Dynasty 2017 – updated drama with Justine as Alexis and Olivia as Krystle. Or vice versa. It doesn’t really matter.
Call the Midwife – fly-on-the-wall documentary/gameshow in which random women POAS and viewers phone a premium-rate number to vote on whether they can see a faint line…
Who Do You Think You Are? – televised outrage followed by flouncing
Are You Being Served? - harrowing real-life tales of funny looks from hapless retail assistants who are subsequently reported to management

I think there is definitely a market for such delights . Any more suggestions before I pitch it to MNHQ?

Property PornHub

A pay-per-view adult channel showing 24 hours of the most desirable houses both UK and abroad

Dont tell the bridezilla With prizes for brides who manage the most hen events and days for a wedding, the furthest locations, the maximum levels of crowd funding and most ludicrous demands about dress code/shoes/nail varnish etc etc

Strictly Come Transing
A constant rolling feed update of any and all developments in the trans debate.

Including a live feed for the parking threads so we can see in real time how it all unfolds. Anyone remember the first bb where we'd watch them reading a book / sleeping / whatever? Strangely absorbing.

Bland Designs - in which Kevin McCloud gets judgy about grey walls, brown leather sofas, laminate flooring, and twigs'n'glittery shit.

Manners Maketh MN - in which pundits endlessly debate the relative merits of supper/tea, loo/toilet, what/pardon, pudding/dessert.

Feathers will be ruffled.

Spot the line, (who wants to spot the line)

• A tv show where viewers call and guess if the pregnancy test is positive. If not, they can choose from another brand of pregnancy test or call/Skype a friend to confirm they have seen the line too or not.

Family affairs
A realty tv show that investigates and helps the op decide on whether she should LTB. Investigations are done for the op and any form of digging she may need to LTB.

points of pedantry a ten min weekly slot reading out letters from MNers complaining about other MNers spelling and grammar.

A Game Of Moans

Err, AIBU basically.

Firing squad
A realty tv show where mumsneters who fit better in Netmums are shot for for using words like babes and Hun.

Would I Lie To You? - stealth boasting. With sock puppets.

Game of thrones
Mn royalty assemble to praise each other on popularity while lamenting on the good old days. Including those who have left/ flounced to better shores.

Bargain Hunters

Contestants trawl through their local Facebook selling pages to find the tackiest, most glittery shit possible. Winner is the one who finds the worst item and extra points for extortionate costs of said tacky item.

Oooh I love Game of Moans!!

Petty Crimewatch. Parking infringements, vaguely suspicious neighbours, noises from the loft. Rolling banner at bottom of screen with the message - "Call 101, get it logged."

One Man and His Dog

The dog tries to round up toddlers carrying food. The MN jury then berate the handler for not having complete control and perfect recall if the dog goes anywhere near a toddler. Mild rebukes for a dog looking at a kid.