If MN had its own TV channel...

[FairNotFair]

What the world needs is more MN, delivered to a wider audience. I have therefore whilst stuck in a traffic jam put together the basis of an idea for MNTV. Here are the totally original programmes I've come up with so far:

Cuntdown – fun wordgame in which contestants try and create profanities from a random selection of letters
Meal or No Meal – cookery programme focusing on the versatility and endless possibilities presented by the MN Chicken
Dynasty 2017 – updated drama with Justine as Alexis and Olivia as Krystle. Or vice versa. It doesn’t really matter.
Call the Midwife – fly-on-the-wall documentary/gameshow in which random women POAS and viewers phone a premium-rate number to vote on whether they can see a faint line…
Who Do You Think You Are? – televised outrage followed by flouncing
Are You Being Served? - harrowing real-life tales of funny looks from hapless retail assistants who are subsequently reported to management

I think there is definitely a market for such delights . Any more suggestions before I pitch it to MNHQ?

The Hobby Show

Different ways to piss your partner off by having a 'hobby'.

No ideas yet as I have tears in my eyes from laughter 😂😂😂

A Day in A & E. A game show where various MNetters injuries are voted on either,

A & E NOW!
A & E in the morning
Go to the OOH
Ring 111

What's My High Powered Job Line

Contestants mime their high powered job and panellists ask them questions so that they can vote on who has the Best One, Who Is The Busiest, Who Is the Most Superior. Objective - to make anyone who has more ordinary work/is less obsessed with their work and its importance Feel Inferior.

Three in a bed
Where MNers offer support as contestant tries to put the cuddled to sleep baby down in its own cot without unleashing the kraken. Points lost for going "oh, fuck it" and just letting the baby co-sleep. (Inspired by real life events.)

Extreme Breastfeeding
MNers compete to breastfeed in the most extreme places, such as whilst hang-gliding, mountineering and at the edge of a swimming pool during high season.

Antique No-Shows

attempt to fool the panel with your lame, ancient excuse for not attending a play date or that garden party the new neighbour keeps banging on about. i couldn't find my keys! DH needed the car! we're all suddenly non-specifically 'poorly'!

We could have a follow-up show called "It's an Invitation, Not a Summons", exWife?

The Sling Quiz Show - where the answer to ANY question related to a difficult/unhappy/ill baby is "have you tried putting him/her in a sling?"

Mastermind

Speciality subject - parking laws in the UK

Troll Hunt

The best daytime TV, presented by David Dickinson. Trolls are given a bow tie so they can be clearly identified in future.

Center Parcs and Recreation....
On every Friday night
Spornville
Opportunity knockers - exposé on mlms by MN business fairies, ambassadors etc
Dr WhoKnowsWhatThisRashIs? everyone's a medic

Do tell the bride

Where a panel of mumsnetters attend a wedding and give feedback to the happy couple on topics such as wedding poems, asking for money, and the etiquette of inviting new partners.

Blind Op
Three posters typing behind a screen while the Op has to guess who is a PBP, Newbie or Troll.

No is a complete sentence

Fly on the wall at PTA meetings as members try to avoid taking on jobs for the summer dates.

antiques roadshow special where a team of experts open the victoria safe

The Saturday Night Bingo Show
Hosted by Anton Dec and David Walliams-Cowell
it works just like MN Bingo.

The Matthew Always Wright Show.
A panel of Z list minor celebrities take threads off MN current news items and hoist up their judgey pants.
Hopefully there can be a competitive element to it.
The person who pulls their judgey pants up the highest wins an extra 15 minutes of fame though hopefully they might just strangle themselves with afore mentioned pants

Mumsnet Airline, where we see cabin crew deal with passengers who haven't pre booked plane seats and other passengers who say they have paid to sit together and will not move.

Judge Judy/Judge Rinder

Judge Hoiky Pants.

AIBU but with the ability to actually dish out come-uppances!!

Through the keyhole

Your chance to guess which flakey member/neighbour/friend is secretly holidaying/living in another family members holiday home.

Bonus points for guessing the location

Centre Parks/piles

Where the audience is presented with a choice of 3 lodges, and has to guess by the noises made by the occupants, which couple are having Friday bum sex.

Have I Got News For You featuring Daily Mail headlines pinched from mn with words missing.

Guess the resting bitch face

Is it because

A her husband is a spoony fucker, and won't leave the chilli alone
B husband has failed to change the water in his penis beaker two nights on the trot
C Husband is continuously taking a large smelly dump in the ensuit bathroom/leaves wet towels on the bed
D all of the above

The gallery
five minutes of the best pictures from the parking threads being shown whilst left bank two music is played

THIS THREAD IS AMAZING!!