hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

[ImTooHecsyForYourParty]

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

That man who mummy talks to at the door every once in a while? That's not Father Christmas's helper making spot checks. That's the postman.

Oh but I do feel guilty at giving you all those 'pea sweets' in a bowl as a treat when you were 2.

Maybe I just am cruel !

DH laughed lots and has given DS1 some tap juice. DS1 laughed a similar amount.

Father Christmas really is looking at you through the burgular alarm cameras.

And your Mickey Mouse Grabby hand plus assorted other really annoyingand unmissed, toys, well they just went in.the bin.

i dont GET parents who obsess about vegetables

....adds pink chicken to the list...

Oh and that megaphone thing on your fireman bicycle - it's not pretend and it does take batteries. It's just Never. Going. To. Happen.

Ha!

We have the 'music man' that drives around selling icecreams playing music for all the children too!

And 'water-flavoured' juice.

And DD, those arent 'fairy trees'. It's broccoli. And it's not 'fairy cabbages'. It's the evil that it Brussels sprouts!

Oh. You again.
Its not really a problem. Just a bit of fun.

broccoli - trees
ice cream van?
how original

Love these!

Ds1 yes the cat is santas spy. He really is.
Yes the dog will be the same for DS2. Yes all boys and girls have them.
Oh your friend hasnt any pets? Well it looks like no pressies for them then doesnt it?!

You know I told you Ant and Dec answered the phone when we voted 3 times in Britains Got Talent? They didnt. I only pretended to phone.

Who had a dump in your handbag Lady?

Also whilst unburdening my soul...

DH.. That separate non-quorn cos healthier isnt as manly clearly? lasagne the other night, that one that "just had that depth of flavour you CANT get from quorn" the one that generated no extra washing up... Well think on it buddy?!

DS1 yes it is odd that thieves deem only your screechy recorder and similarly annoying whistles worthy o theft, but, let us not forget that is only because they tripped and broke that annoyingly loud bastard venus, rendering it tuneless

Those quality toys that mysteriously disappear, that you get on the front of magazines. binned. every. single. one.

Cheese hating DS, you do know what pizza topping consists of don't you? Apparently not...

Aww this thread is making me nostalgic.

Mummy's water was lemonade.
Special grapes = olives
Fizzy drink = a tiny bit of apple juice with carbonated water
Diet coke = for grown ups, like beer.
Lamb - yes it is a coincidence it's called the same as the fluffy animals in the field (soft ex-vegetarian mummy)

DD is 11 now. The only one I still get away with is calling every curry Korma, or she'll claim it's too spicy.

DS, when you were 2 and didn't like your medicine I did not use my entire range of food colouring to mix in and pretend it was different 'nice' medicine.

DD1... That instant mash you will only eat... It ain't instant :)

PMSL at magic casserole dish :o :o :o

Oh will you just naff off. Do you ever join in the spirit of a thread as a nice person or do you just trawl round looking for places to slip a bitch in?

The texts I got from Father Christmas? That was your Dad. I just edited his details on my iPhone. But hey! At least you tidied your rooms.

HouseAtreides Sun 28-Jul-13 16:45:55

Who had a dump in your handbag Lady?

ROAR at this

and DD, when you whine that the bath is too hot and refuse to sit down, the thimbleful of cold I then add is likely to have no effect, other than to convince you to sit down and that it's fine

Lady Milford, have you thought that MN may not be the place for you? It seems to make you unfathomably irritable.

Don't feed the troll. She doesn't like courgette, broccoli or cheese.