House rules I forgot to make.

[CadleCrap]

Don't comb the soap.

Not one I would necessarily have thought of either...

No wellies in the toilet bowl.

don't wipe your nose on the duvet

Don't crumble egg yolk on the living room carpet for the dog to eat.

Thankfully DDog is very thorough!

Dont store your jigsaw pieces in my cup of tea.

Knickers must be worn at the dinner table

Do not allow DC to watch Mamma Mia. It will be sung to you ad nauseum for 12 months.

Trousers must be up at the shops.

Don't lick your sister.

Don't lick your brother.

Standing-up wees are fine but there is no such thing as a standing-up poo.

Stop staring out the window everytime the neighbours go in or out.

Worms and slugs are not pets. They can't live here.

Don't drop your condom wrapper in your drink at the side of the bed!

DH just told me this one, he also drank said drink and apparently it tasted disgusting.

The dog doesn't want to smell your bottom. I know it looks like he does but he really doesn't.
Stop tying knots in the bathroom light switch cord while you're on the loo!
Don't put your brother in the toy box.
Don't put the dog in the wardrobe.
Don't let the chickens into the kitchen.
Stop trying to ride the chickens.
LEAVE THE CHICKENS ALONE!

Don't feed the rats pom poms

Lego people do not live in the fridge. They defnitely don't go on holiday in the washing machine

at 'standing up poo'

Worms left in your pocket will not survive

Please do not pick MY nose

The cat does not wear lipstick.

Stop sharing everything you eat & drink with the cats
Please stop changing your clothes every time they get cold

Do not invite the lady from next door in to look at the "massive poo" you did.

Don't put your willy in your yoghurt.

Don't wipe your bogies on your bedroom wall.
Do not pick up the cat every single time you pass him.
Bedrooms have to be tidied because I said so and yes it does have be YOU who tidies YOUR bedroom.

Please don't pull the leaves off all my plants to make a salad for your teddies

Lightsabre fights should not be reenacted loudly at 5:30 am (or preferably at all)

Do not smell cars.

Banana is not a hair product.

Do not play dentists with the cat.