House rules I forgot to make.

[CadleCrap]

Don't comb the soap.

[Doinmummy]

Do not store your bogies in an earring box to see if you can make one massive bogie.

[amazingmumof6]

no smearing poo on the bedroom wall

[LaGuardia]

Do not use my Nintendo DS to take an individual photo of every one of your Sylvanian figures.
Do not drag your wicker chair over to the light switch so you can administer your ear drops into it.
Freezer doors are not for swinging on.
You are five years old. Anyone who knocks at the door is definitely not knocking for you.
My shoes are just that. Mine.

[Sh1ney]

Don't put your willy on the ipad.

[LittleDirewolfBitJoffrey]

Don't pretend to be a cat, dog, the Hulk when we're out.
Don't sit on the dog. Any dog. Same goes for the cats.
Don't hit your brother with his own hand. Even if he giggles lots.
Don't pull your brother by his ankle. Even if he giggles lots.
Don't bash your brother on the head. Even if he giggles lots.

Don't encourage your sister to rough you up. Even if you seem to enjoy it.

No screaming at each other as a means of communication.

[Glitterkitten24]

Do not put your shoes in the bath while its running.

Do not offer me a big kiss when I'm telling you off for putting said shoes in bath.

Yoghurt is not for your hair.

Do not pick your nose with crayons. Or preferably at all.

[2712]

Do not keep shouting "There's a snake in my trousers" at school when it should be "There's a snake in my boot".
Thanks Woody.

[HellesBelles396]

don't put my comb in my moisturiser...

[Shaky]

Do not take off your nappy that is full of poo before calling for mum or dad first. Your display of independence is impressive yet unnecessary.

Do not eat the cat's food.

Do not trap your fingers in the conservatory door

[MadameOvary]

These are brilliant

[queenjellybelly]

1, If you throw your sisters ipod in the bin, tell us before the rubbish is collected.
2, Do not announce in company that "daddy has a really big willy".
3, Do not chew shoes.
4, Do not chew the sofa.
5, Pizza should never do a cycle in the washing machine.
6, the cat flap is not for posting the remote control out of.
7, do not use money as loo roll.

[Shaky]

Sudocrem is just for bums, NOT for teddies, the cat, the carpet, mummy's handbag, your tea, the TV, the walls or iggle piggle

[Shaky]

Queen I think our children are twins separated at birth.

You really made me laugh x

[Shaky]

Do not show off your new found "cutting skills" that they showed you at nursery by chopping up a fiver from my purse and expect me to be impressed

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

Sudocrem is NOT shampoo.

Do not use jam to dye my carpet red because I refused to buy a red carpet.

Do not poke my eye to wake me up.

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

Sanitary towels are NOT aeroplanes and do NOT stick them all over the bathroom wall.

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

To parents : do NOT ignore a toddler tugging at your trousers or skirt on the High street, especially if said skirt or trousers have an elasticated waist.

[50shadesofbrown]

Do not put mummy's coaster under the rug.
Do not unroll the entire toilet roll.
Do not shake mummy's bottle of fizzy pop & bang it on the floor.
Do not pull all the DVDs off the shelf.
Do not climb up the stairs on your own before mummy & daddy manage to shut the stair gate.
Do not open the living room cupboard & get the wine bottles out.
Do not throw mummy or daddy's glasses across the room.
Do not change channels on the TV. You are only 11 months old & are not entitled to select the afternoon viewing.

My DH when he was little:
Do not 'measure' the toothpaste by squeezing out the entire tube.
Do not write your name on all the pans.
Do not strip off at every possible opportunity.
Do not steal cucumber from the market stall & eat it in your push chair.
Do not butter the wall.

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

From today : Do NOT lick the bus window just after someone else has sneezed all over it.

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

Do NOT leave open packs of Haribo in your trouser pocket. The washing machine isn't a fan of sweets

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

Look where you are going when you are ogling that wholly unsuitable, 5 years older than you older teenage boy with his top off.

Said to DD 30 seconds before she walked into a lamppost...

[CouthySaysEatChoccyEggs]

Just because you are the same size shoe as me, it does not mean that my brand new shoes are there to be borrowed without asking.

I have two pairs of shoes, you have 6 pairs. I may begin to return the favour...

[BonzoDooDah]

Do not put nail varnish on your feet and the hall carpet in 20 seconds it took me to go back to the car to fetch your baby brother.

Do not put sweetcorn up your nose.

do not drop the car and house keys into the country of the pram of a friend getting our house.

Do not hide those keys inside the sub-woofer where we don't think to look for four days.

[BonzoDooDah]

bloody MN app!
*bottom of the pram.

[BonzoDooDah]

*leaving our house!
grr