Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

Language and Abbreviations

What is FF?

a. An alternative to BF which you were forced to use but still feel guilty about.

b. A barely adequate alternative to BF which should be banned.

c. An dangerous alternative to BF which could result in INTERNAL DECAPITATION.

d. A ferility website.

You shouldn't be so amusing then!

New Portsmouth? WTF is that? Old Portsmouth I can do for shopping

Explain:

1. Avid and Wise
2. Nobdie
3. BESH and PESH
4. Do you ever wonder
5. IPOAT

Identify the official MN mascott:

1. Flappy the Bat
3. penguin
4. Polar bears
5. Nice Ham

Maths multiple choice:

2 x Pi x MN equals the circumference of

a) the halo of crumbs round DC's highchair that the dog is now seeing to
b) MIL's scowl after the correct response to the questions "are you sure you should be doing that?"
c) the ideal brim size of DS's lovingly crafted homemade spangly wizard hat for silly hat fundraising day
d) Other. Please state ...............................

Sorry Le Queen.

New question:

When you don't understand something should you?

a) ask for an explanation; or
b) shut the fuck up and move on?

I was actually thinking how the feck had they managed to build a new Uni without me noticing.

LeQueen

Underline all those ingredients which are in fact just sugar and which you should avoid in products you intend to give to your pfb:

a. Dextrose
b. Sucrose
c. Agave Nectar
d. Concentrated Grape Juice
e. Manuka Honey
f. Glucose
g. Maltose

I thought I had retained some semblance of a pelvic floor after giving birth. It appears I haven't after all. Thanks, MNers.

(Actually - I think they're building new bits of University every bloody day - have you seen the Victoria Baths site recently?)

Question 19256: When faced with criticism of your dear old home town/city do you -

a) join in with general piss-taking, denying any connection with said town/city whilst weeping softly inside

b) take up arms and launch a broadside against anyone daring to state that the place of your abode is anything less than a modern-day Shangri-La

c) shrug with indifference. After all, the roads are a bit shite and the other day you saw a tramp turn his nose up at a shop doorway as it was a bit untidy and down-market for his liking.

The answer to all of these, is of course 42

The flappy bit of the loo roll goes
A) down the front
b) down the back
C) you don't care as long as DH doesn't wipe his willy on the curtain

MN Wordsearch: Find as many MN words as possible:

B F V F F C N X G I N A N D T O N I C
A U P F B T K I F R P E R U N A D L O
T S M O L D I E S E J A Y D E N X M D
O D I S W U N K T I G P O M B E A R S
O J N A F Y M B W O G A N S C O C K
A M I L O X S T O O H S T I U R F B I

F T R I V E R S O F S W E E T C O R N

Words may appear in any direction.

Ooh, I love that, Talc

Question 1042

MN is a super-selective forum and this entrance exam seeks to identify those who can most benefit from the facilities which MN provides. It will be marked stringently.

Have you been tutored for this exam?

a) Yes, since the age of 12
b) No, but I have practised on some old papers
c) No, someone as clearly destined as I am for MN can be sure of acing the entrance exam
d) No, as anyone who has to be tutored to get through the MN entrance exam will struggle to keep up once they've been admitted

Marks will be deducted for plagiarism or blatant dishonesty

Try this one...