Hmmmm? If there was an MNtrance exam, what would the questions be?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

1. Are you able to understand irony?

a. Yes
b. No
c. Maybe
d. I never irony - just give it a good shake when it comes out the machine
e. All of the above
f. None of the above

passive - it's one of those tests. [wunk]

First Aid Question:

A man has been hit by a car and you are first on the scene. He is unconscious and bleeding profusely. What do you do?

a) Take him to bed for a fortnight for skin to skin bonding

b) Put him in a sling (not a Baby Bjorn one, everyone knows they are Evil Crotch Danglers)

c) Check the car to see if it's big enough for three car seats across the back but still easy to park

d) Leave the bastard

Describe Chaos Theory in 50 words using examples from your own home.

'Mom' is:

a) Only used by Americans, bloody yanks, coming over here and using our forums, how dare they, taking over the world with their bastardised English, and while I'm here I'll tell you about this really stupid American I met once when I was in New York/Disneyland. . .

b) Used by Brummies, you London-centric bunch of twits

c) Do you really care what other people call their mothers? Really?

d) Done to death, I can't believe someone has started another thread about it.

615. Who or what is Cherry Menlove?

a) A summer dessert
b) A twee and squee Martha Stewart wannabe
c) A type of bumsex

Please provide illustrations to support your argument.

616. "Keep Calm and Carry On". Discuss.

I used to work with someone called Cherry Menlove. True.

Just googled her, and holy fuck, that's her!!!! Used to think her name was hilarious!

Apologies Manatee, in my shock I ruined your quiz question.

How many days after giving birth is it morally acceptable to go waterskiing in the Caribbean leaving your dc behind?

Staistics Paper 1

Calculate how many friends you would have to recommend in order to stand a cat in hell's chance of winning a competition in any given month. Show your working out, preferably without harming any cats.

Has anyone seen the new Pedlar's catalogue? I have more money than sense just ordered an egg cup - it was only £75!

(a) Explain, in no more than ten words, the etymological derivation of:

BESH
CRESH
FESH
PESH

(b) Use each one in a sentence to demonstrate unequivocally it's meaning.

A stranger you have never met posts limited details about a scenario that they have experienced/witnessed and are annoyed about. Do you

a) agree it annoys you too
b) demand more details before giving a decision and criticse their spelling and grammar
c) intimate that you are only 3 cousins removed form the Dalai Lama and thus forgive the person, love them and wouldn't ever get annoyed at anything ever, and anyone who does get annoyed is just too sensitive for their own good
d) come up with various, and increasingly unlikely excuses/reasons for the person behaving like they did including (in no particular order): dire nail emergency, dire child related emergency, dire need of sex related emergency, rare disease affecting 1 in 10,000 people but could have been that, bizarre circumstances that would mean someone had to ram a baguette up your nose or the world would end
e) accept that sometimes people are a bit rude, and that's life really

nickel did i pass, and would it offend you if i offered you a

You come across a thread on unconditional parenting, do you:

a) throw up
b) want you to love and hug your children and you know it is the right thing and say so
c) think that UP children are rude and can't behave in public and say so
d) read the thread all the way through baffled, and not post on it, because you are too scared

This IS fun.
Much more fun than doing a the job app I'm supposed to be doing.
Love the lego one

"(a) Explain, in no more than ten words, the etymological derivation of:

BESH
CRESH
FESH
PESH

(b) Use each one in a sentence to demonstrate unequivocally it's meaning."

I've been wondering this for ages. Does that mean I'm expelled to NM

You post in "relationships" about a problem that is really upsetting you.
Do you:
a) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
b) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
c) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak
d) get lots of sympathetic and lovely replies that make you feel you are not alone and not a total freak

PMSL at misshonkovers first aid question.

You are a fortunate and happy person with a calm approach to life. Your relationships are good (including with MIL), your children are fine and you have enough money on which to live month to month.

Do you:
a) Keep quiet
b) Keep quiet
c) Lurk, realise that any replies will sound patronising and keep quiet.

Outline in detail 5 reasons why a) McDonalds b) Coca Cola c) Nestle are evil bastard companies who are on a global mission to corrupt our precious children.

You see a young man with rippling muscles jump out of a souped-up car he's just parked in a Disabled Space. As he sprints across the car park and vaults the fence in the direction of the video rental place, covering the 100m in less than fifteen seconds, do you tell yourself:

a) He probably has some terrible mental illness and needs to park there because he'll forget where he's left his car
b) He has a dreadful invisible internal lung condition that means he can't actually go further than the 100m you've seen him sprint
c) He's misusing his granny's disabled pass

If a) or b), do you tell people on MN that they are being judgmental if they assume c) ?