First pregnancy- first miscarriage. Devastated

[Allstarxo]

Hi everyone.

I’m 28 and was 10 weeks pregnant. When myself and my boyfriend found out we were pregnant - we were absolutely over the moon and couldn’t wait.

I had light brown spotting on Saturday night which became heavier on Sunday, so I called NHS 24 who told me to go to Out Of Hours GP at my local hospital. Waited 3.5 hours to be told “we don’t have access to the equipment so I can’t help you but don’t worry - bleeding is normal”

Went to work on Monday and was bleeding red blood. Got sent home and was told by the midwife to go for an emergency scan at the early pregnancy unit.

Went to the early pregnancy unit on Tuesday morning. At first she did an ultrasound on me. I knew instantly on the midwife and student midwife faces that something was wrong and I could see her turning the screen so I wouldn’t be able to see.

She told me she could not see anything but a sac so did a vaginal ultrasound instead in which she found a sac, a yolk but no embryo attached or heartbeat. She also told me that it was only measuring 6 weeks. Although she never told me it was going to be a miscarriage - I instantly knew. She printed off the scan for me and told me to come back next week for another scan.

I got home, and the bleeding and cramp became intense. I was in so much pain, and then just felt “it”. I ran to the toilet - and there it was on the pad I was wearing. I screamed, I cried, I instantly felt completely broken.

I am still devastated 2 days on. I feel like I can’t get out of it. My mind is going into overdrive - constantly googling why and how and whether it will happen to me again.

My parents have been the best support. My mum has took time off work to be by my side constantly which I am grateful for but I just can’t get over it and feel like I will never get over it.

Any help with the grieving would help me a lot. Thank you.

How’s everyone doing? anyone had a period yet? x

Ah good that AF arrived for you @StephyRose ! Can get started on that new year bfp :D and totally I was the same with everything to the book, no hot tub on my wedding anniversary, no alcohol, none of the bad cheese or cured or raw meats haha. Both just unlucky!

@CC1304 I am okay thank you - not got period yet but think its arriving in the next week as my temps are high and getting sticky CM. Really looking forward to it so I can get ttc again haha! How about you?

@CC1304 how are you? I'm doing ok. My bleeding/spotting finally seemed to stop this weekend almost 3 weeks post surgery and the pregnancy tests seem negative to me now so I'm feeling relieved. Never wanted a negative test so much before in all my life 😂. Going to try and relax now and just enjoy Christmas (with a glass or two of wine!) and just wait and see when AF decides to show up. I had some cramps yesterday but seeing as it's only 3 weeks post surgery and the spotting has just stopped I don't think this was period related.

Hope everyone is doing ok and you all have a lovely Christmas, here's hoping 2020 brings us all a little more luck

Do temps get high before then? I thought it was a good thing to have high temps lol. Still no AF here I’m nearly 5 weeks after MC. I think I ovulated but still could have been left over hormones. X

@stephyrose I also tried to doing everything 'right' and the worst outcome still happened. I remember saying this to the epu nurses and they said it was very unlikely that this was anything to do with what I did or didn't do and the strong likelihood was that baby had stopped developing due to a chromosome fault or something similar. I know it doesn't make it any easier but I guess it's natures way of preventing a unhealthy baby being born, even though it feels so cruel and unfair.
I find it hard when you hear of people who smoked, drank and did all sorts of things which in theory could harm the baby and they go on to have successful healthy pregnancies. But I've read recently that these are only risk factors for miscarriage and don't always cause it (otherwise those people who all smoked etc would never have babies which we known isn't the case). I don't think it will change what I do next time as I will be an anxious mess and feel the need to be in control to try and make sure the worst outcome doesn't happen again.

@GoldenBauble I think this first cycle is a total minefield haha! I only got negative test after 4 and a half weeks and now am getting some cramps (5.5 weeks on) so that's probably period on way

@CC1304 I mean my temps are at the "post ovulation" readings so higher than that at the start of my cycle :) for me, my temps were only slightly higher when I was pregnant anyway! So looks like I ovulated around 10 says ago so period in 4 days i am guessing 🤞

@Anny27 I think we are pretty much having the same cycle hun. I had a negative test pregnancy test and ovulation on sat 14th and then a positive ovulation on the 16th. So I’m 8/9 dpo. According to my apps in due AF 28th. I had implantation bleeding when I was pregnant on day 9/10 so looking out for that. I know I’m just wishing something that 99% isn’t going to happen this month x

Hi all, no period for me as yet, but Im 4 weeks post MC today so not really exepecting it until maybe 5/6 weeks? Finally did the deed with OH yesterday first time since September 😳 he held me so tight after, could tell he was emotional, its like final bit of closure. Really want to move forward and start feeling positive, dont want to rush into anything, hopefully things will happen for us when they are meant to. I hope you are all getting some well deserved R&R over the coming week and trying to enjoy the festivities.

Hi ladies,

I am a bag of doom because although I have had a period, when I wipe I see brown discharge (that's like old blood) and still even now ... every so often I am getting tiny little flecks of blood coming out in the bath.

I should relax as I've had a few negative tests and have had a period ... do you reckon it is just old stuff still coming out? No other dodgy symptoms like bad smell, pain or undue bleeding. Ahh if I didnt have a worry I'd buy one.

Yes am looking forward to trying to concieve again. 😋❤ We will all be starting the process again.

Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas, sending lots of love 💗💗 xx

Morning ladies! My period arrived last night/ this morning:) 6 weeks after surgery! So officially cycle day 1 of ttc now 🙌

Not too crampy but I guess that's because lining is thinner than usual after ERPC.

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!

@stephyrose mmm not sure, might just be old blood / a longer period than usual? I wouldn't worry if its just brown and no clumps

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry. It so often happens early on in pregnancy but that doesn't help how you feel right now.

All the best for the future

@Anny27 I’m with you massive bbt drop this morning and the start of AF, not CD1 just get as no bleeding just the lovely brown stuff 🙁😐!
Stupidly thought I’d catch again this time and everything would be perfect.
I guess the positives we can take from this is our bodies have all recovered pretty quickly some ladies take months.
Merry Christmas ladies xxx

@Anny27 amazing news. It feels weird that we should celebrate it but this is a new beginning for you, for us all.❤ I'm sure you are right, the symptoms are very sporadic. No sign of anything weird.

@GoldenBauble I will be the same as you... still doing everything to ensure no miscarriage again. Even though I know the odds are on our sides that it wont happen again. I took these supplements before I found out I was pregnant and they are called Co-emzyme Q10. They are meant to be amazing for egg health but I'm really scared they are what caused the abnormality in my little one. Crazy as anyone can buy them and you can get them from Amazon, Boots etc.

@CC1305 were you trying this cycle? I tried to keep track of ovulation this past month but I dont think I even did. Guess we will all be BD at similar times 🤣

How are you getting on @spierse? Xx

Awwh sorry AF is arriving for you @CC1304 as I know you were hoping to catch this month xx

@StephyRose yes it feels weird being glad to have a period after months of not wanting one when ttc haha. Hopefully this is the last period we have in a while 🤪

Is anyone doing anything differently? I am taking the seven seas conception tablets like i did before and going to use OPKs once period leaves

Morning all, @StephyRose im good thanks, Christmas went well, was a quiet one this year, having a big new years party to compensate. No period for me as yet, im just over 4 weeks past MC. Glad that peoples bodies are returning to normal hopefully that will mean happy news next year. 🙏❤

@spierse it will arrive soon I am sure :) mine was 6 weeks after surgery (6 and a half weeks after start of bleeding)

My period is slightly lighter this month I would say. The doctor said that was normal because the lining of the uterus isnt as thick as in previous cycles because of the surgery

@Anny27 my period still hasn’t kicked in but what I am having is super light but I don’t know if I should class as a period? It’s like a light brown rusty colour sometimes with stringy bits in x

@CC1304 mmm that's interesting! Considering your bbt drop it sounds like AF but perhaps just very light because of the surgery? I have to say mine is quite stringy compared to normal

Yea like super light only when I wipe! Lol I’m saying all this now watch AF come on tomorrow full show ha! Temp went up above cover line today. x

@StephyRose I just took the pregnacare vitamins last time so think I'll stick with them. I really doubt that anything you can buy from boots etc would cause the miscarriage - are they targeted at people trying to conceive? I know what it feels like to over analyse everything though. I did a few small things (like put flea treatment on the dog) and afterwards thought should I have just done that if I'm pregnant?! Then googled and realised I probably shouldn't have! Reality is though that nothing we did or didn't do is likely to have caused the miscarriage but it definitely won't stop me being over cautious next time.

@CC1304 it could be implantation bleeding then?? I never had that when I got pregnant so dont know what it's like. Keep us updated

@GoldenBauble I am a generally anxious person and I did everything by the book and probably will do again. I have a cat so didn't know you shouldnt flea treat them when pregnant.....another job for my DH haha

Hi, I am 3 weeks 3 days on following from a missed miscarriage and ERCP, on 2nd December we went for our 12 week scan and the baby had no heart beat we were completely devastated and it was such a massive shock, at first I wasn’t wanting to try again for ages as it was such a shock but now I am wanting to again and my partner is happy to as well, I haven’t had any spotting for a while following the ERCP but today I woke up and just had a feeling I would come on my period as had a few cramps and hot! I went to the toilet earlier and looked to be coming on it was light red but not too much more now, I don’t know if it’s still from the miscarriage or if I am coming on is 3 weeks 3 days too early to have a period? Has anyone had anything similar? Thanks

@Dougthepug1 I’m so sorry for you loss hun it’s awful. @Anny27 and she’s arrived AF! I’m trying to stay positive as at least it shows my body has recovered in 5 weeks 😢x

Hi ladies, random one I am 3 weeks 4 days after surgery is it safe to have sex? I’m unsure would appreciate anyone’s opinion, I though my period was coming but it’s not still getting the odd brown spotting when wiping from the toilet, just want a period so that we can start trying again! All your stories are really helping and making me feel more positive so glad there is this forum to chat openly. Thank you :)

@dougthepug1 yes they say you can 2 weeks after and when the bleeding has stopped :D we are 6 weeks past erpc and just got my period

@CC1304 ahh sorry AF arrived but probably for the best as your uterus wall may not have been thick enough to sustain a pregnancy right after surgery ❤