First pregnancy- first miscarriage. Devastated

[Allstarxo]

Hi everyone.

I’m 28 and was 10 weeks pregnant. When myself and my boyfriend found out we were pregnant - we were absolutely over the moon and couldn’t wait.

I had light brown spotting on Saturday night which became heavier on Sunday, so I called NHS 24 who told me to go to Out Of Hours GP at my local hospital. Waited 3.5 hours to be told “we don’t have access to the equipment so I can’t help you but don’t worry - bleeding is normal”

Went to work on Monday and was bleeding red blood. Got sent home and was told by the midwife to go for an emergency scan at the early pregnancy unit.

Went to the early pregnancy unit on Tuesday morning. At first she did an ultrasound on me. I knew instantly on the midwife and student midwife faces that something was wrong and I could see her turning the screen so I wouldn’t be able to see.

She told me she could not see anything but a sac so did a vaginal ultrasound instead in which she found a sac, a yolk but no embryo attached or heartbeat. She also told me that it was only measuring 6 weeks. Although she never told me it was going to be a miscarriage - I instantly knew. She printed off the scan for me and told me to come back next week for another scan.

I got home, and the bleeding and cramp became intense. I was in so much pain, and then just felt “it”. I ran to the toilet - and there it was on the pad I was wearing. I screamed, I cried, I instantly felt completely broken.

I am still devastated 2 days on. I feel like I can’t get out of it. My mind is going into overdrive - constantly googling why and how and whether it will happen to me again.

My parents have been the best support. My mum has took time off work to be by my side constantly which I am grateful for but I just can’t get over it and feel like I will never get over it.

Any help with the grieving would help me a lot. Thank you.

@Anny27 thank you hun I’m trying to think positively about it and completely agree with you. Hope you are doing ok?
How’s everyone doing? x

Thank you! Im hoping I will be around 6 weeks too so not too much longer to wait for it. Thanks for your advice x

I am doing okay thanks! Cycle day 4 so AF is nearly over 🙌🙌 @CC1304 - how long are your cycles?

@Dougthepug1 have you had a negative pregnancy test yet? I didn't get one untill 5 weeks after surgery!

I think it was 37/38 days long, I started spotting day 35 but didn’t bleed until last night and then full on this morning so yesterday I’m classing as CD1. What about you hun? X

Hi everyone,

Glad all is well. :) I'm doing the Sperm Meets Egg Plan this month and as yday was CD8 you are meant to have sex every other day until you get a positive ovulation test and then everyday from there for the next three.

I'm not taking any chances and will be having sex everyday until next week. 🤣 I've started to have quite a lot of CM which is good but the trouble is ...... I am absolutely obsessed with doing it to the point where my partner thinks I'm crazy. We have been on a long weekend to Dublin this weekend and are waiting for the flight back. Wont get home home until about 9.30 and already he is thinking he may be too tired. 😱

I got pregnant on CD11 last time (my cycles are short, between 24-26 days) and just want to make the most of the fertile time to the point where partner thinks I'm deranged as aside from this, I have the lowest sex drive ever! 🤣

Before I fell pregnant, I was obsessed with concieving .... then I got pregnant and I was an anxious mess ... then I miscarried and I was deeply sad. And the whole cycle starts again 🙈🙈

Anyone else feel like they are going crazy?

@CC1304 my cycles are usually 27-31 but this one was around 43 days after the surgery

@StephyRose I am just as crazy haha! Usually have a pretty low sex drive but during ttc its like it's my job to DTD 😂😂

Cycle day 5 today so will start SMEP in a few days. Last time I got pregnant on day 13

How are we all doing girls? Xx

Morning Hun up and down really how about you? x

Morning all, I'm ok, AF arrived this week, so that was a 40 day cycle after MC, def heavier than usual but generally all ok. I had yet another person tell me they are pregnant, was it always like this or am I now just noticing them all more 😣

Wonder if anyone can help or has some advice. I don’t know where else to turn. I had a miscarriage at 3 months back in March. Myself and my partner have been trying since but no luck. I have an app on my phone which tracks my periods and when I’m most likely to be fertile. We have had Intercourse when I most fertile but still coming on my period! My periods have been irregular since loosing baby they are coming between 23-28 days whereas before baby I was regular 28 days. I worried incase having the miscarriage have done something. All we want is to be parents and it’s just not happing. We doing everything right I think. So what’s the problem I so worried and tired of being upset. What should I do?

@jessyClaireS sorry to hear about your loss :(

That's really rubbish that it hasnt happened for you since :( I would perhaps go and see the GP considering it's been a year since you started trying for a baby and not there yet. Hopefully GP will be able to advise!

In terms of what you can do in the meantime - have you used OPKS? Theh predict ovulation and can help you time better? As the apps can sometimes be off and you might be missing your peak

@spierse my first cycle was about 45 days - felt ages waiting for it Haha! Yep I see pregnant people everywhere atm :(

@CC1304 yeah not too bad, waiting to ovulate atm! Are you trying this month?

@Anny27 thank you for getting back to me. I will book an appointment with my GP. It might give me some reassurance. I’ve never tried it, they ovulation kits what you can get in supermarkets etc? That’s not a bad idea. I never thought of that. I think your right about the app. I may stop using it. I think I relying on it too much. Is there any other way you can find out when your ovulating other than just using the kits?

P.s I hope the rest of you lady’s are doing ok. It’s so hard isn’t it especially when all your friends are saying oooh I’m pregnant. Oh well fantastic, I’ve lost my baby and struggling to conceive again. It’s a shame isn’t it that some people get pregnant at the drop of a hat and think nothing of it and there’s other like us that would do anything to be a parent and struggle. Life isn’t fair sometimes xx

@Anny27 yes hoping to this month but I think my hormones and everything is still all over the place, not sure if I’ve had a chemical if I’m honest it’s all a bit confusing x

Hi everyone, not sure if this discussion is still active but wanted to post as I am in the same position- had a completed miscarriage this month at 12 weeks gestation. It was my first pregnancy. I don’t know anyone who has had the same experience so have found it helpful reading your posts. Thanks for sharing. I’m hoping to see a fertility specialist but I don’t know if I will get any answers on why I miscarried. I’m hoping to try again in the future. X

@Bumblebee999 so sorry that you are joining us, I was the same, first pregnancy and i had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks at the end of November. Sending love and hugs your way in this difficult time ❤

@spierse thanks so much for your reply. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m also glad that there are people to talk to who understand. Sending good wishes to you

How’s everyone doing? xx

Hi everyone,
I hope you're all doing okay. I haven't posted since my miscarriage (November 19). I just had a quick read thought and I'm sorry to the people who have been through this too.
I finally got my period 6 weeks after my miscarriage (27th December) @Anny27 we are very close in dates! How have you been getting on ? I'm now 4 and a half weeks past day 1 of period and I haven't tested yet. My husband wants to wait to test because of what happened last time but I just want to know!

Hope everyone is doing ok, I got my first period back in the beginning of January, 2nd one was due last week, im 5 days late so tested this morning and it says I'm pregnant. Quite shocked and doesnt feel real going to wait for few more weeks before I let myself even believe it but I hope statstics are on my side and that this time it works out for us. I know some will no doubt find it hard me sharing this but I wanted to post to let you know there is hope for all of us and all our rainbow babies will come find us when they are ready ❤🌈

Congratulations hun!! x

Thanks @CC1304 ❤

Congratulations @spierse! It's lovely news and definitely makes me feel more hopeful for the future! Keeping everything crossed for a healthy pregnancy for you. Like you said, statistics are definitely in your favour - good luck!

Hi guys not sure if this is still active. Wondering if anyone can offer advice. Found out at private scan that baby measuring small and no HB (6 weeks when I should have been 9) had to wait almost a week for an nhs scan and now waiting another week for nhs to confirm even though I already know. I called the EPU to find out what my options are next and I’m already pretty set on wanting an MVA as it’s been 4 weeks since baby died and my body hasn’t recognised it. I personally don’t think I can deal with the pain and trauma of blood loss at home from a medical management but I have been told wait time for mva is almost a month - that means it will have been 2 months if my body doesn’t recognise it while I am waiting. Any advice on what I can do? Can I go to another NhS hospital? Paying privately isn’t really an option for me an DH but feeling so hurt at the waiting and the unknown. I want it to be over so I can move on - being in limbo for almost 2 weeks already has been awful. We were so over the moon to find out.

@spierse ahhh congratulations lovely that's amazing news!!!!

Will you get an early scan?

I am on cycle 2 of ttc after miscarriage - no luck yet but remaining hopefull :D

@CC1304 how are you getting on?

@GoldenBauble will you've trying nextmonth?

@Mrs173 ahh sorry lovely :( sounds very similar to my story. I actually ended up doing the medical management (tablets) which wasnt as bad as I thought but at the end I ended up losing too my blood and needed emergency erpc anyway so had to surgery in the end. I am not sure what they can do in your situation other than have the at home miscarriage vs waiting. Sorry cant be of much more help :(

Hi @Anny27 👋🏼. Yes we will be starting next month. I'm just in my fertile window now so this time next month will be all systems go 😂 I'm feeling ready now and glad I've taken a bit of time. I'm excited but also anxious, but I know that is normal and to be expected - we just need to bite the bullet and crack on I think!

I saw the consultant this week in relation to my blood condition and they have kindly offered to run all the standard blood tests they do for couples who experience recurrent loss just to make sure there is nothing else underlying. I'm so thankful for them doing this as they are really only doing it for my own piece of mind due to me only having had the one loss so far. At least once I get the results I will either have complete peace of mind or if there is something else underlying, we can do something about it this time round. So I'm definitely feeling more positive now! How are you doing?