Scared Antenatal Depression is kicking in again

[Flamesparrow]

I have been expecting it. Not "waiting for it" exactly, but knew my odds were fairly high (have had it with both the others).

That familiar feeling is back - wanting to cry, being convinced I am a terrible person, everyone hates me and would be better off without me, lethargic - so much to get done, important stuff and I am sat here scrolling through threads with DS sat in front of Toy Story.

I'm frightened.

I don't want to do this again.

My friends are going through enough of their own crap without me whinging on them, and ideally they could use support but I just don't have it in me.

I can get through this without ADs, I have done it twice before, but that black bit before I start to beat it is just so black. I am already chucking medication into this child, I really don't want to add any more to the mix.

There is nothing any of you can do, but I need to get it out and said or it will build up even more.

Trying to kick myself out of it to get stuff done.

They like to see my books to ensure that I am actually skint

That sounds like my access file then. Will have to print the entire bloody thing as I am 99.9% sure they won't accept a disk Damn councils - why can't they move with the times and accept emails n stuff?!?!

Can you imagine the mess if you emailed it to them? There's no way they would be able to open it or read it right.

Would be funny watching them try

Our council can't even deal with paper. I emailed (it says yo can email them) back in March to say that DP now had a job so to stop giving us the student discount onthe council tax. In April they emailed back to say 'the latter we have says he finished being a student last September'. This isn't true, we sent them one that last year that took his student status up til this September (didn't know exactky when he was going to finish at the time) and if that was the case then why exactly did they send us a bill for 2009/2010 with the discount applied? It's now May and we haven't heard back from them yet. So I'm just sending them the amount of money I think we owe them on a monthly basis and presumably they will eventually sort themselves out.

Sorry, unnecessary story about council incompetence, feel free to ignore.

I was trying to think of something soothing to say....

It doesn't matter very much, but I can imagine them coming to us in a year or two's time and saying 'about that student exemption letter' and of course by then we'll have no way to get proof of when we were students.

How's it going?

I am now clutching in my hands a prescription for ADs

Good last few days (sickness came back with a vengance yesterday

Oh, only just seen this. Well done on going to the doctor again. Hope the ADs do as they are supposed to!

well done for getting some AD's - hope it works for you. I've been back to the docs today and gone up another dose on my AD's so hopefully will be back on track soon. Also missing my dh who was off on hols last week and dreaming of when half term is over .

Ooh I am useless - I had a fb message from you about a week ago didn't I?

I think the good weather has done something to me (I don't think it can be the ADs because I only started them on Tuesday) - I feel happy today and like I can face the next 20 weeks.

Plus I got to see BabyGus who is wriggling away

don't worry, I know what it's like. Glad you got to see bubba on the scan, it's so dreamy isn't it? I just have to keep hanging on to the fact that it will all disappear when this little love is born and then I will have my very own baby girl to snuggle. I've been freaking out about possible withdrawal that the baby could suffer but have read that there is no more chance of it happening whatever the dose you're on so dh has convinced me that for the sake of myself and the whole family I have to keep sane now and deal with what may be at the time.

Sunny weather always makes everyone happier. Until you're lots lots moer weeks pregnant of course, and then you'll be complaining that it's too hot

I plan on spending summer in a bikini and not caring how I look

Have burnt the dude

I am weaning myself off the ADs from 36 weeks in the hopes of stopping too much in the way of withdrawal, but I know mine isn't as severe as yours and I can cope with those last 4 weeks (I may not be a nice person in that time...)

You're having another girl?!?!

at people with gardens that they can wear bikinis in. I have to go to the park, and then MNers will tut and say 'it's not the beach you know'. They do it, I've seen them on here moaning.

BabyGus? Is that his/her/its name?

Never mentioned a garden (do have one though - never forget the joy of hanging out washing when we first moved in)

BabyGus is what DS has named it. He is going to be very pissed off when it isn't actually named Gus

The garden was implied in the 'spending summer in a bikini'

You saying bikini is inappropriate for school run??? Is that what all the dress threads are about???

Hangingbelly there is a thread here that you might be able to give reassurance on. Depression and pregnancy meds related

Who am I to say what's appropriate for the school run? Maybe you should post a 'school run outfit' thread in style&beauty with a picture of your bikini (with or without you in it).

Pic of "Babygus" should now be in profile

Well done!