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Original poster

Scared Antenatal Depression is kicking in again

199 replies

Flamesparrow · 24/04/2009 12:47

I have been expecting it. Not "waiting for it" exactly, but knew my odds were fairly high (have had it with both the others).

That familiar feeling is back - wanting to cry, being convinced I am a terrible person, everyone hates me and would be better off without me, lethargic - so much to get done, important stuff and I am sat here scrolling through threads with DS sat in front of Toy Story.

I'm frightened.

I don't want to do this again.

My friends are going through enough of their own crap without me whinging on them, and ideally they could use support but I just don't have it in me.

I can get through this without ADs, I have done it twice before, but that black bit before I start to beat it is just so black. I am already chucking medication into this child, I really don't want to add any more to the mix.

There is nothing any of you can do, but I need to get it out and said or it will build up even more.

Trying to kick myself out of it to get stuff done.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 17/05/2009 11:18

Johnson's Holiday Skin does the opposite - I can never tell if it has had any effect at all. I suppose I could just put it on one leg and nto the other as an experiment, but then I'll be in trouble if it turns out it does actually do soem colouring after all.

TrillianAstra · 18/05/2009 15:24

Ooh, me likey dollhouse thingy.

YanknCock · 18/05/2009 20:21

Been lurking, downloaded episode 1 of Dollhouse and forced DH to watch it with me on the premise that he liked Firefly when I forced him to watch that. Seems ok, will probably download a few more. I tend to stick with shows better than DH.

Flamesparrow, how you feeling these days?

I really think the medication has kicked in now and am feeling a bit more like 'me', if that makes any sense. I have the desire to make lists and tick things off. Bought some wedding thank you notes which are going to be hopelessly late...have been advised some relatives are grumbling. Feel bad, but I've been in no state to do anything about it for months. They will just have to accept my apologies, nothing more I can say really.

IStoleSamsPony · 19/05/2009 11:39

My wedding thank yous were very very late, and I had no excuse, was just crap

Feeling very overwhelmed the last couple of days. Less tearful, but just its all too much iyswim. I have wet washing sat waiting to be dried yet again, but the kitchen looks like hell (DH been ill, so it has been left untouched ) so I am hiding from it.

I still haven't made my appointment. Keep forgetting until it is too late in the morning. Not sure if I am forgetting on purpose or actually forgetting .

I'm glad your meds are kicking in

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 19/05/2009 15:52

So after a 10 min session trying to get kicking and screaming brat in the car at 12.45pm.... I am still hurting and feeling sick from all the pulled muscles in my bump (not worrying type hurting, just general strained every bloody thing). It hurts when I stand, or move too much.

So, once again it looks like poor DH is going to have to come home from work and feed and sort out children whilst I collapse into bath and/or bed.

I am so and with Flameboy

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 19/05/2009 16:07

Poor you.

Set the alarm on your phone to go off at ringing-the-doctors-time tomorrow. Then when it goes off, ring the doctor. No excuses.

YanknCock · 20/05/2009 12:57

Gah....have to remember that just because I feel mentally better, I'm not magically physically better. I made it about half way down the shopping centre and my back/pelvis started to hurt really badly from the SPD. By the time I made it back to the other end I was hobbling and had to sit down a few times!

Flamesparrow, have you made that appointment?

TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 13:08

Maybe you need to go to the shopmobility place and borrow a special scooter YnC!

Are you enjoying Dollhouse? DP saw it on my computer and asked what it was an I said 'It has Eliza Dushku in it and Joss Whedon made it, he's the man who made Buffy'. I thought mentioning Buffy rather than Firefly would be better for putting him off - I'm at home all day so I want to watch it myself and not have to wait for him to be here to watch the next episode! [selfish emoticon]

Twitter says Flame is having an interview or something regarding a car accident she had in Janury, so probably no doctor today.

YanknCock · 20/05/2009 14:14

I'd have DH calling me 'Davros' if I got a scooter! Liked first episode of Dollhouse, not sure DH will stick with it though. I don't mind waiting for him because it means then he's not turning on repeats of Top Gear for the millionth time.

Most of the other stuff I download he's not interested in at all, so normally have plenty of shows to myself!

TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 14:32

Ooh, what else do you watch? Recommend something for me!

You don't need to get a scooter exactly, just borrow one for the times when you don't have someone's arm to lean on.

So you're feeling mentally better now then?

YanknCock · 20/05/2009 16:10

If you like sci-fi type stuff, there were two U.S. series that were unfortunately cancelled: Jericho and Day Break. Both were on within the last few years. Jericho got cancelled mid-2nd season, and Day Break only made half of one season. You can probably still get them from torrent sites (EZTV or Mininova).

Currently watch: Lost, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Gossip Girl (sooo trashy), 30 Rock, Ugly Betty

I don't tend to start watching anything new very often (only if I get a recommendation!). My XH downloaded/watched frickin' everything, so was the one to 'discover' new shows for me.

Original poster
Flamesparrow · 20/05/2009 16:34

CHUCK!

and no appointment yet - no time to get to one even if they give it to me

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 17:56

Oh yeah, Chuck, how did I miss all your 'save chuck' thingys?

Um, what is it?

And how was your day today? Up, down, middling?

SickofCrazy · 20/05/2009 18:06

Meh.

Chuck is a computer geek who has a secret gov't database in his head and has to work with spies. Tis very good.

SickofCrazy · 20/05/2009 18:07

Oops

TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 19:12

Oops? You namechange enough as it is, was this a secret one?

Flame · 20/05/2009 19:39

not top secret as it was fairly obv who I was from the info if people had spoken to me over the last couple of days.

TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 20:20

Okay shall I look for it and answer you then?

Flame · 20/05/2009 20:22

Psycho found it and called me - made me less hysterical Twas in chat

TrillianAstra · 20/05/2009 20:23

Okay will be back later think my potatoes are finally cooked. in the meantime as the namechanging means you need them

Flame · 22/05/2009 08:13

Dr appointment with decent dr on Tuesday morning. First thing. With both kids on school holidays

Went slightly nuts last night. marginally more balanced today but have the housing benefit woman coming round which always makes me twitchy regardless of my mental state! I am convinced they are going to catch us out for some fraud we're not committing So much work, for so little money a month, but we can't survive without the money. Hate claiming benefits One of the things that did make me doubt having another baby because it means being on them that much longer before I can go back to work. It was one of those situations though where my job wasn't well paid enough to pay for childcare and living.

TrillianAstra · 22/05/2009 08:49

Housing benefit woman will be fine, she isn't out to get you, she only wants to catch the naughty people. Wear something that emphasises the bump and hopefully she'll go 'aww' at you.

Flame · 22/05/2009 12:29

I have to get my accounts up to date in the next month and send them off.

wtf is a day book?!

TrillianAstra · 22/05/2009 12:36

Is it a book where you write down what you've done each day? Or what you are going to do?

Accounts on the nappy business is that?

TrillianAstra · 22/05/2009 12:37

I think this explains day book.

Why, did benefits lady think you were actually making money from this business thing?