Support. Please anybody?

[LowestLow]

Hello. I know that I'm asking for a lot from strangers, but could I please have some support on here, if anybody is able to spare any?

I will be there for anybody if you are also having a hard time.

I have love to spare if anybody else is struggling. I wanted to post this on MH but need it to disappear.

I'm not sleeping & I'm so stressed. I am having online counseling once a week (& they say that my anxiety & depression is off the scale) it's not really helping like I thought that it would, although I'm still grateful that I'm able to have it. It's making me talk about things & I don't want to talk about things.

I'm sorry but I really need to be vague. Next Monday, the 7th, I may be losing contact with my children.

I can't bare this pain. I'm trying so hard to hang on.

Please, is anybody able to be around & post every now & then until the 7th, just so that I don't feel so alone?

We can talk about anything, distraction, if anybody wants to talk about anything?

I have been on here for 10 years but this is a new name.

Haha sorry 'application' should say apple cake! Bloody autocorrect! It was actually really nice. I'm supposed to be dieting though to help with my knee so will have to go easy.
Yes I start off with good intentions then just end up chucking it all in.
Thank you 😊

IsItAllMenopause Aah, I couldn't work it out
I've never made anything like that. I had a slice of somebody's homemade apple & toffee cake at the last school bake fair & it was delicious!

My comfort, if you can call it that (as it doesn't comfort me much) is food, & my weight is creeping up & up. I just don't care. I don't care what I look like. I don't care that I now get out of breath doing walks that I used to do with ease. I don't care about myself or my body any more.

Ooh a toffee sauce would be even nicer. We made a cinnamon icing on top but I think toffee would be even nicer. And I probably wouldn't use baking apples next time as they still taste a bit sharp.

I can understand that. Food can be a comfort but long term you end up feeling worse I think. I've got a mouthful of fillings and hate the dentist so I try (but fail!) to limit how much sweet stuff I have. It's all easier said than done though isn't it?

IsItAllMenopause yours sounds lovely! Do you have it on its own or with custard/ice cream?

Yes, Its habit & I hope to get a hold on it one day. But I just don't care enough right now.

I just had it on its own with a cup of tea. I might have custard with it tomorrow though!
Yes you have to be on the right frame of mind I think. No point when you have other stuff going on really.
I've been crocheting all evening. I keep making mistakes so have to keep unravelling it. It's going to look like a dirty dishcloth at this rate! 😁
Anyway night night. Speak tomorrow 😊

IsItAllMenopause Thank you again for chatting to me. It does help.

I'm still doing my crochet dolly but it also keeps going wrong or (as it just makes like a long snake of wool) I get fed up with it & keep starting over. But it doesn't matter, it's just to occupy myself really.

Hopefully you are sleeping now. I'm wide awake just thinking about things.

Morning! I had a rubbish sleep too. Sunday nights are always a bit rubbish. I don't lie in on Sundays so I don't know why really. My knee was a bit sore and I had a horrible hot sweat thing which I am hoping is just a bug rather than a menopause one! I've had enough of all that.

Have you tried any YouTube crocheting videos? Although i need a teacher to explain it to me. I have to pause and replay the video about 20 times!

Also have you ever tried needle felting?? You can make little birds or Christmas decorations. (If you're in to Christmas!)

IsItAllMenopause I have heard of needle felting, I love anything like that but I'm very tough on myself normally, if I make the slightest mistake I get really annoyed with myself. I'm like it with my colouring books too, if I go over a line or colour the wrong section I get really frustrated.

It's a horrible trait, I know, as it takes away the stress relieving part!

I think that's why I like the crochet dolly, because I just throw that wool away & there's no reminder that I messed up!

Do you make things like that for Christmas?

I'm sorry that you had a bad night. I hear you, on the hot flushes, I used to have a fan next to my bed all summer but so far this year, it's not going anywhere as I'm still using it for part of every night. I think they are hot flushes, or I just can't regulate my body temperature any more.

The needle felting is pretty forgiving. I'd give it a go if I were you. There are lots of nice sets out there with lovely colours in them. I've made a sheep and a fox. Although the fox looks more like a kangaroo!
I think I'm the same. Get frustrated if something isn't perfect. But then remind myself that nothing is perfect!
I don't really make stuff for Christmas apart from a wreath for the door. And that definitely doesn't have to be perfect!
Oh yes the hot flushes are horrible aren't they? I haven't had one in a few years. I had my ovaries out a few years ago. I'm hoping last nights was a one off. If you get them a lot try sage tablets.

IsItAllMenopause I googled it & I was thinking of something else! I don't know if I'd be able to do it but I'm impressed that you've made those, I bet they are cute

I've strayed from there onto watching Painting videos today, I remember watching 'Watercolour challenge' I think it was called, with my mum, & found it relaxing.

It is a bad day though, more disappointment.

The sheep is cute the fox is a bit scary 😁.
I'd give it a go if I were you. Just get a starter kit of a bird or something.
I love painting. I used to do oils but it's such a mess you have to really commit to do it to put up with the mess!
Oh sorry to hear that. Hope you are okay.

IsItAllMenopause You can make a whole farmyard!

I might get one. I actually heard about an art class starting today & it's for people dealing with a stressful situation, but it's on one of the only days when I have my kids so that's typical.

Haha yes. Although the crocheting has now taken over. I think I've finally cracked it!
I can even crochet and watch telly 😁. Just Bern watching Riot Women...have you seen it?

Oh that is annoying. Maybe contact them and just ask if there's any plans for other days?

IsItAllMenopause I did email them.

So you are like one of those women who can knit a cardigan without even looking down, whilst they watch an episode of EastEnders

I haven't seen Riot woman but I will do, I love Tamsin Greig.

Haha not really. I bet I look at it tomorrow and there will be holes in all the wrong places 😁

It's good so far. Yes she's great isn't she?

IsItAllMenopause Even if it's holey it's still special as you made it!

I like her in Friday night dinner & Extras.

I'm struggling with my thoughts tonight. I was going to go to bed but I'm sat here just trying to shut my mind down a bit.

Morning, how are you?
I've got a horrible sore throat and chest so had rubbish sleep.

My older two DC used to love Friday night dinner. I think you might be better avoiding Riot Women for now. There's a few bits in it about kids which you might find upsetting. I've only watched the first three so not sure where the story goes.

I am now officially addicted to crocheting! It's keeping me occupied while I feel so rubbish.
I've got an xray of my knee in a bit.

Hope you are okay and managed some sleep x

IsItAllMenopause Thank you, I won't watch it for now. It's surprising how many things have reference to situations that I'd rather not think about right now!

I'm sorry that you are unwell. Big hug from me to you! I hope that tonight is a bit better for you. Prop your pillow up if you can.

How did your x-ray go?

Yes probably best avoided for now. I understand now why things have trigger warnings. I watched a drama about 6 years ago and it brought back lots of childhood stuff. I ended up having counselling for it. But yes you don't need unnecessary reminders when you are not ready for them.

Thanks for the hug! I feel a bit better this evening. The xray went okay, was over in 5 minutes. I think it takes a week to come back.

Hope you also get some rest. Night night.

IsItAllMenopause I am sorry. Sometimes things like that catch you off guard don't they.

Yes, I will never see 'my' situation, as it's very unusual (so people keep telling me!) but seeing any kind of similar type things, unexpectedly, on TV, is also upsetting me.

I am glad that you are feeling a bit better.

I've been in bed since 9pm tonight with my music on.

I'm scared to try to sleep tonight. I had a terrible, terrible nightmare last night involving my children & a fire

Hi LowestLow, how are you doing?
I'm* *okay, still got a bit of a cough but not too bad.
Hope you're okay x

not sure what the random asterisks are for sorry!

Hi IsItAllMenopause I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better. The asterisks are fitting, I thought. Like you are feeling just 'ok'!

How is your knee now?

Morning! Yes I'll pretend they were on purpose!

Still sore. Should get results of xray back and then hopefully gp will book me in for an injection. I had a good sleep apart from the knee waking me up.

How are you feeling today? Did you sleep okay?

Hi IsItAllMenopause Thank you for still checking on me!

I'm not really ok. But I've got lots to do today so it's good on that side as I'm busy.

I hope that those X-ray results hurry up for you!

I heard back from the people who are running that art course, it's not for people in my situation (so that's typical) but they are going to let me know if they have anything else coming up.