Support. Please anybody?

[LowestLow]

Hello. I know that I'm asking for a lot from strangers, but could I please have some support on here, if anybody is able to spare any?

I will be there for anybody if you are also having a hard time.

I have love to spare if anybody else is struggling. I wanted to post this on MH but need it to disappear.

I'm not sleeping & I'm so stressed. I am having online counseling once a week (& they say that my anxiety & depression is off the scale) it's not really helping like I thought that it would, although I'm still grateful that I'm able to have it. It's making me talk about things & I don't want to talk about things.

I'm sorry but I really need to be vague. Next Monday, the 7th, I may be losing contact with my children.

I can't bare this pain. I'm trying so hard to hang on.

Please, is anybody able to be around & post every now & then until the 7th, just so that I don't feel so alone?

We can talk about anything, distraction, if anybody wants to talk about anything?

I have been on here for 10 years but this is a new name.

Sorry to hear that but yes better keeping busy I think...
Oh that's a shame about the art course. I've just started a floristry course that I'm really enjoying. Is there anything like that?
My older DC are both home this weekend. My DD is back to normal with ne now! Not sure what was going on with her...I'm tempted to just leave it for now. As they say least said soonest mended!
Hope you have an okay day at least ❤️😁

IsItAllMenopause I was interested in floristry when I left school, I'll have a look, thank you for the idea!

I'm glad that your daughter is alright with you now! Do they get on with each other when they are all there?

Yes I think you will enjoy it so hope there is one.

Yes they all get on well although it is very loud when they are all here! The lads usually end up throwing a ball around and playing guitar so it's all a bit of a racket!

Have you got any plans for the weekend?

IsItAllMenopause There aren't any that I can afford right now but it's another thing that I'll keep in my mind.

I'm on my own but I have things to do around the home & errands that I didn't get to during the week.

Your weekend sounds like it will be lots of fun, I'm pleased for you. Enjoy

Morning!
How did you sleep? I woke up a few times with knee but not too bad really.
Everyone still in bed so I'm enjoying the peace and quiet!
Take care x

IsItAllMenopause I didn't sleep much but I did fall back asleep when I woke up at 6, until 7.30 & that never happens.

I'm so tired. In general. I've just had enough of everything. It's just exhausting having to constantly put my fake happy face on.

I've done my outside tasks & that's good as it's just come over all Grey & started spitting.

Morning LowestLow, how are you? Did you get any sleep? Yes it must be exhausting pretending to be okay.

My knee feels a bit better. X Ray results have come back but I haven't seen the Dr yet.
It's my son's last rugby match today. All very emotional as some of the lads have been playing together since they were little and are finishing now. I'll just be glad when it's over with no injuries! I think most of the mums feel like me.

What are you up to today? Heavy rain forecast later so I'll probably get soaked!

IsItAllMenopause I tried to do something new yesterday but my anxiety prevented me from being able to go in to the new place, I was putting it down to 'Just one of those things, it doesn't matter' during the day but last night I was really giving myself a hard time about not being able to do it.

Today I'm feeling really disappointed with myself. I'm angry & annoyed that I couldn't do it. I can do things like this with my kids, or with another adult, but I struggle on my own.

I hope that you are alright (emotionally!) sounds like a great day, hopefully it stays dry for you all.

Hiya, funny you should say that. Me and my sister were saying yesterday how things that don't seem significant during the day time suddenly become a big deal during the night! It's like our brains go into overdrive at the wrong time. Hope you've been able to move on from it. There really is no point beating yourself up about it!

Yesterday was great. It chucked it down but it was a close match.

IsItAllMenopause I know, I always say that my mind is really unkind to me at nighttime!

I'm glad that it was a good day yesterday. I think we had that rain today.

Morning LowestLow, how are you?
I've been on holiday. Its nice to be home. I didn't really enjoy it as my knee was still sore.
How have you been? x

IsItAllMenopause I'm sorry about your know. Do you know when you can have the injection?

Where did you go?

Things are the same for me.

Morning LowestLow, how are you?
I haven't got a date for the injection yet and the last couple of days it's been pretty good.
We went to Portugal.
Have you got much planned for today? I'm away with my sister in a cottage. It's lovely, very relaxing!

That sounds amazing, IsItAllMenopause* I'm glad that you are having fun.

I've always wanted to go to Portugal.

I was busy with my kids today so that's always a good day.
Schools go back tomorrow so I will see them much less again.

I actually preferred the cottage than the Portugal holiday! I find the whole airports and flying a bit hard work at the moment.
Ah good you got to spend time with your children. Are they still into the whole Halloween and Bonfire night stuff? Mine all older now but they will probably all go to Bonfires with their friends. Sometimes it feels like I've blinked and they've all grown up! Although it didn't feel like that at the time.
Hope you are okay x

IsItAllMenopause I don't know what happened to the 'bold' writing on my last post.

We did holidays all around the UK as kids so I have a soft spot for a country cottage too.

I'm just struggling on tbh. Trying desperately to find some support.

Yes my kids are still into all of that stuff, I still love fireworks too!

Thank you for still checking in on me.

Haha I hadn't actually noticed!

My oldest DS was the one most into it. I think he'd still go tricks or treating now in his twenties if he could!

Sorry to hear you are still struggling. Hopefully things will get better eventually...for now just keep doing what you can.

My crocheting is really coming on. I'm going to attempt a hat later this week.

You're welcome 😊

IsItAllMenopause He can put a mask on & still go

Are you making a hat for yourself?
I haven't done much of anything like that lately. I did decorate the windows with Halloween stuff with the kids though.

Yes, everything is really bad & just getting worse. I don't even know why I'm still bothering to keep going.

I spend a lot of time daydreaming & I know that it's not healthy but I don't care. I'd rather be away in my head.

Hi, how are you today?
You sounded absolutely fed up last night .Hope today is a bit better.
I've got elderly parents driving me mad!
I'm not sleeping great so don't really feel able to cope with them that well.

I'm not sure if I'll make a hat for me. I think I'll make it and see if it turns out okay!

IsItAllMenopause I am fed up. I just want a break from my life. I am in a dark place mentally. I did speak to a helpline today.

What's going on with your parents?
You don't have to tell me of course.

I often sit at my window in the nighttime & make up stories about other people's lives. They are always happy stories.

Oh I am so sorry to hear that.. please try to stay strong...I know easier said than done.
Do you mind sharing where you are roughly. I understand if you'd rather not.

My parents have both had serious health issues this year. My dad is basically a bully though which makes helping them difficult!

I think most people have some difficult bits in their lives. I grew up in nice house but we didn't have a very nice upbringing as we were all scared of my dad!

Hope you are okay x

IsItAllMenopause Thank you. I know what you mean, & of course you are right, we all have our struggles, it's just where my mind goes to...

I hope that things will get easier for you with your parents (although I know, with these things, they generally don't!) it's hard isn't it.

I am in East Anglia.

Yes well it's very difficult to see any positives sometimes isn't it? I'm definitely a glass half empty type!

I think as far as my parents are concerned things are only going to get worse. I'm just trying my best to keep a bit of distance emotionally and physically from them. I live very near so I'm the one they expect to help out.

Oh I'm North West so nowhere near you!
Apart from in spirit 😁

IsItAllMenopause Nobody is ever anywhere near me on here

I feel like I used to be a positive person. I still find beauty in the world around me, like I will find one Golden leaf in amongst a sea of Red ones & it makes me smile, but inside, deep in my soul I feel like I'm damaged & the old me will never come back.

It does sound difficult with your parents, it's hard to disconnect emotionally isn't it, but I hope that you can manage it somehow.
It's also difficult to be the one that's expected to help all of the time.

My mum is a bit demanding of my time, she had never been able to understand that I sometimes need that time to decompress & just be alone with my thoughts. She used to say 'Well if you are just going to sit by yourself then you may as well sit with me', & now she will say 'Well if you haven't got the kids then why don't you come & sit with me?'

Morning LowestLow,
How are you today?
I think we all get damaged by life...but over time we can heal.
Ah your mum sounds difficult too. Just keep your own space. You are entitled to that.
Hope you have a good day. My crocheting is coming on a treat!