Support. Please anybody?

[LowestLow]

Hello. I know that I'm asking for a lot from strangers, but could I please have some support on here, if anybody is able to spare any?

I will be there for anybody if you are also having a hard time.

I have love to spare if anybody else is struggling. I wanted to post this on MH but need it to disappear.

I'm not sleeping & I'm so stressed. I am having online counseling once a week (& they say that my anxiety & depression is off the scale) it's not really helping like I thought that it would, although I'm still grateful that I'm able to have it. It's making me talk about things & I don't want to talk about things.

I'm sorry but I really need to be vague. Next Monday, the 7th, I may be losing contact with my children.

I can't bare this pain. I'm trying so hard to hang on.

Please, is anybody able to be around & post every now & then until the 7th, just so that I don't feel so alone?

We can talk about anything, distraction, if anybody wants to talk about anything?

I have been on here for 10 years but this is a new name.

IsItAllMenopause I found a video online, it looks fun!
I hope you knee hasn't been too painful.

I'm still not sleeping properly. The nightmares & the thoughts that won't quieten, are very difficult to deal with.

Knee still sore. I've got an xray next week so hopefully find out a bit more.
Oh no, nightmares are horrible. I dreamt last night that I knocked a dog over! I was very relieved when I woke up and realised I hadn't!

IsItAllMenopause Oh that's a horrible dream to have. I do wonder why our minds think of these things sometimes!

Although mine aren't random right now, they make perfect sense. Being out of control, having everybody else making decisions around me, not being able to find my children etc.

I'm glad they are taking your knee seriously.

I know! Dreams are so strange.
Yes I suppose your brain is trying to process everything that is happening to you. So hopefully there will be an end to them too. They sound scary though.

Yes I'm glad they are doing xray. Hopefully they will get to the bottom of it and be able to sort it out.

IsItAllMenopause They are frightening. Sometimes I wake up crying but often I wake up just FULL of anxiety, heart beating, head spinning, can't work out where I am kind of thing. It's so distressing. Then they stay with me all day, the feeling, kind of like flashbacks.

I have mixed results with leaving my music on overnight, sometimes I wake up & it's a comfort, sometimes in my confusion I'll be wondering where the music is coming from.

Hi LowestLow how are you?
Yes I don't like having music on when I'm asleep.

Weather bit grey here but at least it's not raining!
I'm enjoying my crocheting even though I'm still rubbish at it!

Hi IsItAllMenopause I'm struggling tbh.

I'm glad that your crocheting is going well! Are you making a blanket?

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Yes very slowly as I keep making mistakes when it's time for new bit! Never mind though its keeping me occupied!

IsItAllMenopause What a skill, though! I'm sure you will soon be making an entire sofa throw

Haha maybe a very small two seater! 😅

IsItAllMenopause When I glanced at this I thought you said a sweater! I was going to say 'Well a sweater is good!'

Haha I think a sweater is beyond me for a long time yet! Although I think there is a cardigan pattern that is fairly easy (still beyond my capabilities). I am enjoying it so that is the main thing.
How did you sleep?

IsItAllMenopause Absolutely! Anything that brings us pleasure is good.

I didn't really sleep. I was up & down & wandering around last night tbh.

I'm lonely during the night times.

Yes definitely!
Oh no that sounds horrible. Have you asked gp if they can give you anything to relax/sleep?
I've got hospital appointment this morning.

IsItAllMenopause They did offer me something but they said it pretty much knocks you out & I don't want that for the times when I do have my children.

Is it for your knee? I hope that it goes well!

Yes but might be worth it just to 'reset' your sleep. Crap sleep is not good!
No it's for something else.. I'm falling apart! 😅

IsItAllMenopause Haha I know the feeling!

There's a lot of uncertainty for me at the moment so I will just wait it out for now.

Yes it's hard to know what to do for the best sometimes isn't it? I take magnesium at night. I think that helps a bit.

IsItAllMenopause I've heard of people taking that actually. Is it a tablet?

Did your appointment go okay?

Yes it's 2 capsules. Magnesium glycinate I think is the one for sleep.
Yes it was a scan. Not very nice because it was a bit claustrophobic but at least it's over with!

IsItAllMenopause I had to have one during COVID where I obviously had a mask on & had to face to wall (& the bed was right on the wall) for what felt like about half an hour.

I hope you are alright today & that your knee is ok.

I had one in Covid too and I had to ask if I could take my mask off. Feel okay today but my knee is still sore. I thought it was getting better.
How are you?

IsItAllMenopause I'm just carrying on, feeling very low but I've had some time with my children.

How are you doing?

Ah that is good at least. Sometimes all you can do is just carry on.
I'm okay, my knee is still sore. Could be worse though!
Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend. I've just made an application with my youngest DS so looking forward to that. I've never made one before and then I lost the recipe halfway through! So just guessed the rest of it! I'm no Mary Berry!

IsItAllMenopause What have you made? I hope you enjoy it!

I'm not very good with recipes, when we do some cooking together I tend to vaguely follow along but I'm a 'chuck it all in & hope for the best' type

I'm sorry your knee is still sore.