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Original poster

Support. Please anybody?

367 replies

LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:01

Hello. I know that I'm asking for a lot from strangers, but could I please have some support on here, if anybody is able to spare any?

I will be there for anybody if you are also having a hard time.

I have love to spare if anybody else is struggling. I wanted to post this on MH but need it to disappear.

I'm not sleeping & I'm so stressed. I am having online counseling once a week (& they say that my anxiety & depression is off the scale) it's not really helping like I thought that it would, although I'm still grateful that I'm able to have it. It's making me talk about things & I don't want to talk about things.

I'm sorry but I really need to be vague. Next Monday, the 7th, I may be losing contact with my children.

I can't bare this pain. I'm trying so hard to hang on.

Please, is anybody able to be around & post every now & then until the 7th, just so that I don't feel so alone?

We can talk about anything, distraction, if anybody wants to talk about anything?

I have been on here for 10 years but this is a new name.

OP posts:
Eldermileniummam · 29/06/2025 22:02

OP I'm sorry you have a lot to deal with and I'm here to chat. If you'd like to talk about it that's fine otherwise we can discuss something else.

Jigaliga · 29/06/2025 22:03

Have you tried the Finch app? Go and have a look

Eldermileniummam · 29/06/2025 22:05

Jigaliga · 29/06/2025 22:03

Have you tried the Finch app? Go and have a look

What's your thinking? It sounds like OP wants some company and support.

YesHonestly · 29/06/2025 22:07

Oh OP, I can feel the pain in your words.

I’m here too x

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:16

Oh thank you so much. I didn't think that anybody would answer.

I don't feel like I'm strong enough to get through this without support & I feel pathetic for that, but it's where I'm at.

What is the Finch app?

Eldermileniummam & YesHonestly Thank you. Have you done anything fun today? I feel like my every thought is consumed with this.

OP posts:
Eldermileniummam · 29/06/2025 22:18

I actually looked up the Finch app based on PP mention and it's an app game like a cyber pet for self care so you tick off when you've done things like get up early, brush your teeth...

How has your day been OP?

YesHonestly · 29/06/2025 22:18

Nothing fun really! It was my one day off today so I went to Tesco and then cleaned the house!

The heat made it feel like torture but at least it’s done now.

I hope you manage to get some rest tonight x

shellyleppard · 29/06/2025 22:21

@LowestLow here for you. The finch app is really good for those struggling with mental health issues. My 19 years old son is a regular user. I'm sorry you are going through a tough time x

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:23

Eldermileniummam Oh I assumed it would be a dating App for some reason! That sounds like a good idea but not for me right now as I already feel like my every second & every thought is being scrutinised so it kind of feels like more pressure? If that makes sense.

My day has been hard, I really struggle with over thinking everything & I keep playing scenarios through my head.

YesHonestly You managed better than me. I bought all of the washing (3 loads) upstairs & then just dumped it on the floor & left it there. I don't see the point in making the house 'nice' when it's just me.

OP posts:
Eldermileniummam · 29/06/2025 22:24

Sorry OP I missed you asked about my day! I had a nice day thanks. I actually felt a bit low myself earlier. I'm a bit stressed but not major, mainly work. We had a bbq at home and it was nice thank you.

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:25

Thank you shellyleppard I'm glad that it helps your son. I've written it down to have a look at another time.

OP posts:
MrsRandallFraser · 29/06/2025 22:26

I’m here for company OP and sometimes awake during the night thanks to a little one.

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:27

Oh that sounds lovely, Eldermileniummam What did you have to eat? What sort of work do you do?

OP posts:
YesHonestly · 29/06/2025 22:30

Taking the washing up is an accomplishment in itself! You deserve a nice home too x

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:32

Thank you MrsRandallFraser How old is your little one?

I'm so grateful to you all. I was so scared to post.

I tend to either lay awake crying all night, wander around the house all night, wander round the garden/stare up at the sky/out of the window & wish that I could disappear or when I do sleep I have terrible dreams about losing things & not being able to find them, searching for them endlessly, or about people walking in & walking off with my children whilst somebody holds me back.

I wake up so distressed, sometimes crying, & these stay on my mind forever. My counsellor told me that it's the unprocessed thoughts from the day trying to come out, which is kind of funny as all I do is 'think'. I don't see how there can be any thoughts that I havn't thought of.

OP posts:
Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:34

Thank you YesHonestly. I suppose it is!

I will have to move to a smaller home if things go how they are expected to on Monday so I don't see the point in making things nice for the time being.

OP posts:
MrsRandallFraser · 29/06/2025 22:42

He’s 3 months old. He’s getting good at the overnights but every now and then we have a few wake ups.

I hope tonight is more restful for you. If it’s not, do you have a favourite tv series you can watch? I’ve been watching The Residence on Netflix, you really need to concentrate on it so it could be a good distraction. Or when I just want to zone out and not concentrate too much I watch Big Bang Theory.

shellyleppard · 29/06/2025 22:45

@LowestLow would some music help to soothe your mind? My personal favourites are mike Oldfield songs of distant earth album. Or my favourite single is elbow one day like this x

Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 22:56

MrsRandallFraser 3 months is a lovely age isn't it. I hope that tonight is a good one for you both!

I do get up & watch TV sometimes but I can't really switch my mind off.

shellyleppard That's a lovely song. I do like music & sometimes it helps, I usually leave the lamp on & the radio playing when I'm feeling low, so that it's not just me & my thoughts, but sometimes just lately it's like it's too much noise along with all of the noise in my head. Thank you for talking to me.

I actually wish that music hadn't been such a big part of our lives as I have so many songs that bring back memories of being with my children & it's just too painful to remember happy times like that right now. I don't think that this makes sense, but it's just how I feel.

Did any of you watch any Glastonbury? I watched some of it on catch up last night.

OP posts:
Original poster
LowestLow · 29/06/2025 23:29

One song that I've only really discovered recently (I heard it the first time round but didn't really 'hear' it) is Cast & Walkaway. I read the lyrics to this to myself, kind of like a poem a lot. The only part that isn't 'true' for me is 'You never lose your dreams'

I'm going to need all of my strength to walk away on Monday, with my head held as high as I can manage.

I had to do this once before, but it wasn't final, & it was so hard. I felt like my feet were made of lead, I felt like I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was walking through treacle. I had to walk past people who were chatting & they all went quiet & watched me with my Red, blurry eyes & my scrunched up tissues in my hand & my snotty nose, trying to breath, just trying to move. They felt sorry for me, I felt their sorrow, but it didn't help me.

Monday is going to be even worseSad

'If you heard all they've got to say,
You looked but turned away,
Just walk away, walk away.'

'If you've said all there is to say,
And now the words just slip away,
Just walk away, walk away.'

'If you've proved all there is to prove,
Got nothing left to lose,
Just walk away, walk away.'

'If you've done all there is to do,
There ain't nothing left for you,
Just walk away, walk away, walk away.'

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 30/06/2025 02:31

Is there anything you can do OP that might change the outcome of Monday?

Original poster
LowestLow · 30/06/2025 04:11

thaegumathteth No there isn't anything, it's just waiting until the day.

OP posts:
MrsRandallFraser · 30/06/2025 04:43

Well he’s only just woken up so that’s not too bad. I hope your night’s not been too bad OP and you managed to get some restful sleep.

Original poster
LowestLow · 30/06/2025 06:39

MrsRandallFraser Oh I'm glad that he slept last night. I hope that you did, too?
Is it hot where you are?

Thank you everybody, for talking to me yesterday.

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 30/06/2025 06:41

💐