Can anyone chat to me? Desperately lonely.

[Needalisteningear]

I am so lonely. This is going to be long.

My mum passed on xmas day last year. She had cancer and wasn't very old. She didn't die of cancer though, it was medical negligence.
My dad couldn't cope and moved to another country.
My ltr has just ended.
My kids are at their dads.
I have no friends. I've realised that. I have acquaintances from my dc groups. I've never really fit into friend groups. I was and still are, I suppose, hanging onto friend groups.
My past is an embarrassment (not my children) and I am so desperate to be happy that I just allow things that shouldn't happen in a relationship, to happen.
My life is a joke. The only good thing about it is my kids and tonight, I'm really struggling with loneliness.
I have no family left and the people who I have reached out to have finished the conversation after a couple of messages.
I suffer with ptsd and other mental health issues that stem from past relationships.

Is anyone around just to chat. Just so I can stop crying a bit?
Well done if you managed to read this far! And thank you x

Hi @Needalisteningear my dog is a bit odd and loves fireworks so is watching them out the window. The cats are sleeping through it as they do with everything. For the first year ever we haven't gone to a bonfire/fireworks as the teenagers think the whole thing is cringe (or maybe it's just being seen with us that is cringe) so I'm attempting to start the Christmas shopping online but not getting far as I have no idea what to get everyone. It just seems a bit like spending money for spending moneys sake at the moment as no one needs anything (which I appreciate is a nice position to be in).

Teens are odd 😂 mine didn't want to come to any at the weekend either! They pulled a weird face and replied 'no' as if I'd asked them to eat out of the bin or something!
Do you have any ideas what to buy for xmas or are you doing the whole looking, looking, looking and trying to find something better?!
I'm trying to find a site I was on that sold White Fox tracksuits that were cheaper than on the real website. Cannot for the life of me find it again! Sjould have bought it the other day but didn't in the hope I'd get it cheaper somewhere else. I haven't...

No ideas at all for oldest teen as he said he couldn't think of anything he wanted but didn't want nothing, so that wasn't terribly helpful. Youngest teen wants a very expensive thing for his hobby which I will probably get on the basis he never asks for anything normally and also I have no other ideas.

Oh no I hate that when you can't find websites again. Would it be in your browser history?

Thanks Op for asking how I am doing . Wobble has past . Just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other . I have said it so many times, but it is a real roller coaster of emotions / game of snakes and ladders going through a separation .

I have booked a trip to visit one of my good friends so looking forward to that .